The Let's Play Archive

White Knight Chronicles I & II

by nine-gear crow

Part 56: In The Name Of The Moon (Part 3)


CUTSCENE: A Triumphant Return

We jump back to Balandor now to find Caesar struggling on the front lines against a Yshrenian gigas.


Make that two gigases…




Caesar: Urrrgh!


Caesar: I’m outnumbered!

No shit, Sherlock.


That second gigas leaps into the air with his maul held high.






Caesar: Urrrgh!








Well shit.




Pew pew.




Yeah, you go boys. You hit that absolutely nothing at all, hit it hard!

Actually, I’m being too harsh again, it’s actually pretty smart that someone on the Yshrenian side decided to lay down suppression fire. It stops Balandor’s troops from advancing on their lines, so it is in fact worth it to keep firing on No Man’s Land. See: World War I.


Soldier: Over here! Hurry!






Oh yeah, Cisna’s there too just watching all of this happen. Because she has balls of steel, that’s why. She’s also there to provide some direct “moral support” for her troops.

Cisna: STOP LOSING YOU FUCKHOLES!!!

Long live the Queen.


She’s joined on the field by Captain Elvee, who unceremoniously became Cisna’s replacement Cyrus in the intervening year between the start of the game 1 and right now.

She’s a relatively minor character and gets minimal dialog and no characterization, but I just felt the need to introduce her a little better than the game does. Shit, she isn’t even named in the narrative. The only reason I found out her name is because she appears as a hidden NPC at the start of the game.

If you wander up to Balandor Castle after you get control over Leonard and the Avatar for the first time rather than going towards the exit and triggering the next cutscene, Elvee is standing there in the castle bailey readying a detachment of troops to go out on patrol on Greydall Plain. Most people never get the chance to see her because they just head out of the city and once you leave, she’s gone and doesn’t show up again until right now, just over half-way through the second game.


Elvee: Queen Cisna, please take refuge in the castle. It’s not safe here.


Cisna: No.


Cisna: Not while Caesar is out there fighting.


Cisna: I ain’t losing another damn Knight.


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Darkest Hour” (Unreleased Track)

Speaking of losers with Knights, Leonard stumbles into the scene just to remind you that he still technically exists.


Leonard: Cisna… Please go inside.
Cisna: Aw shit, really? I thought I’d locked you a closet.


Cisna: Leonard? Why are you…


Elvee: Sir Leonard!
Cisna: Don’t call him THAT. Did I knight the idiot? I don’t think so!


Leonard: Uugh.


He feebly staggers forward, every movement a labour in and of itself.


Leonard: I’ll go… take care of this.

I love how the siege towers on Balandor’s have banners flying Balandor colours, yet still show the Yshrenian insignia instead of Blandor’s one. Now that right there is Level-5.txt: we’ll hit that button juuuuuust enough, but not completely now.


Cisna: You will not!

She’s simultaneous speaking out of concern for his safety, and making a general observation about his track record of “taking care” of things.


Cisna: You’re in no condition to use the Knight!




See, I told you she kind of touches at least once before this plot is over.

Savour this moment Cisnard shippers. THIS is the culmination of their one-sided romance: Cisna throwing herself on him as a last resort because she can’t stand the thought of him killing himself for her sake.


Cisna: Leonard, please! This is all taking too great a toll on you.


Leonard: (OHMYGODS! She’s touching me! She’s actually touching me! Cisna’s in like with me! This is the happiest moment of my—)
Leonard: Oh poop! Leg cramp! NGHH!

Also:

Leonard: [INEFFECTUAL PANTYWAIST MOAN]

^^^ I’m not joking about that one either. He literally just moans like a useless bitch.


Leonard: Doesn’t matter. They need me.

Like they need a hole in their heads.

The ground shakes, and Leonard looks up in horror in a screencap I actually didn’t take, surprisingly.




CRASH!


Caesar: H… Hey… Th-that… tickles…


And then he took a short nap.


Oh great, wyverns. What the hell is it with this chapter and wyverns?










The Wyvern Rex charges its plasma blast up, ready to blow the Dragon Knight’s head clean off while Leonard stands there idly and just watches it happen because he’s a fuck up.


Leonard: CAESAAAAAAAAR!!!


WHOOSH!

A flash of purple light sweeps over the battlefield. I wonder what this could mean?




Impalement: It’s what’s for dinner.




Caesar: What the…?




Eldore: Right in the nick of time.


[Cue “Back in Black” by AC/DC]


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Reinforcements” (Game 2 OST, Track 6)

Leonard: Eldore! What… what’s going on?
Eldore: Heroism, my lad. Godshonest heroism. Pay attention.


Eldore: Meet the Moon Maiden.






So how awesome is Yulie again? Well, let’s just see.






She draws and nocks a giant fuck off arrow.


And charges it up with magical energy.










POW!




POW!


POW!


So you know how over the course of the first game Leonard was made to look like an absolute chump by a single monoship? How the White Knight was powerless against the Magi’s supposedly invincible flying fortress?

Yulie just took out THREE OF THEM! In three seconds!


Three of them. Look at them burn.


Can we just change the name of this game to Moon Maiden Chronicles already? Because that was fucking amazing.

Yulie just upstaged an entire goddamn army in three seconds.

Once again, we see Akihiro Hino’s special brand of incompetent writing in action as the title entity of this game has now officially been outshined by all four other Knights in this game. God dayum. Though in this case, I’m not really complaining because Yulie and the Moon Maiden are absolutely incredible.


But we’re not done yet.


Cyrus also gets in on the action…


Jumping from what has to be 1,000 feet in the air off of Osmund’s glider…


Without a parachute either.






And he sticks the landing too. Though the Farian judge only gave him a 6.8.


Cyrus: OW! SHIT! MY ANKLES!


Just like being voiced by Troy Baker gives Scardigne super powers, so too does being voiced by NOLAN NORTH give Cyrus super powers.


I mean, Jesus, the man can apparently swing his sword so fast it superheats the air around it.




Yshrenian Soldiers: AAAAAHH!






Welcome back Badass Cyrus. I was missing you so much. Let’s just forget all about that whole Drunken Shitheel Racist Cyrus thing. Okay?


Yshrenian Solider #1: Oh gods! What do we do?
Yshrenian Solider #2: Rush blindly at him! That always works!


Yshrenian Solider #1: For that guy who kinda looks like a woman! KYAAAA!!!






Denied.






















Cyrus grabs this poor schmuck’s sword and tries his hand at some dual wielding.


Yshrenian Solider: Hey! That’s mine!
Cyrus: Not anymore!


















Caught between two Yshrenian troops, Cyrus seems to be in trouble as a third soldier approaches from the front…


But Cyrus just kicks him in the gut and keeps going.


Pictured: Kickass Jesus.


Here’s the wind up…


And it’s a home run!


C-c-c-COMBO BREAKER!






















Balandor Soldiers: It’s him! It’s Cyrus! I don’t believe it!










Balandor Soldiers: S-Sir Cyrus!


Cisna: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!


Cyrus: Come on then! Let’s send these bastards running!




Balandor Soldiers: RRRRRAAAAA!!!






And for the first time in a long while, it was a good day for Balandor.

See? Less Leonard IS Best Leonard. And the streak isn’t going to be stopping any time soon either.

But first, we’ve got one last interruption to endure.


CUTSCENE: Grazel Finally Gets Off His Ass
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Grazel’s Theme” (Disc 2, Track 16)

We transition now to Grazel, still sitting in his big goddamn evil chair in his big goddamn evil fortress.


Ledom: The Moon Maiden has awoken. She fights for Balandor now.


Grazel: Really?
Grazel: Remind me to strangle Shapur when he gets back here.


Grazel: Then all five of the Knights have been released.
Ledom: Indeed.


Ledom: We’ve lost some soldiers, but otherwise can proceed as planned.




Grazel: Which reminds me… Where is the White Knight’s Pactmaker?


Grazel: It’s unusual for him to sit out a battle.


Ledom: The boy Leonard?


Ledom: He is reportedly succumbed to some sort of illness, one which precludes him from calling upon the Knight.


Grazel: Hmph. Such a shame.


Grazel: I’d hoped to end this childish farce once and for all.

You and me both, Crispin. And yet, it continues…




Grazel: That’s fine.


Grazel: An opportunity will come.




Grazel: For now, I shall pay my other “family” a visit.




And Ledom just standing there smirking all the while, confident in the fact that he’s absolutely rolling every other person in this game.

LEDOM IS LOVING THIS SHIT!




Wow. So that’s what it feels like to be surrounded by capable people. Who would have guessed? All of Balandor spent the night celebrating our return. Yulie’s name was on everyone’s lips, and business at Rapacci Wines quadrupled instantly as pretty much the entire city flooded into the wine shop to own a piece of place the “Saviour of Balandor” once worked. I even stopped by and helped old Rageface out with the increased demand.

I’d never seen him so proud before. He was beaming, thankful that his daughter’s triumph had washed away all his son’s fuck ups at last.

Not a glace was seen of Leonard that night, though I overheard several people snickering about an “orange haired loser,” however.






I got that dinner, by the way.