Part 56: In The Name Of The Moon (Part 3)
CUTSCENE: A Triumphant Return
We jump back to Balandor now to find Caesar struggling on the front lines against a Yshrenian gigas.
Make that two gigases
Caesar: Im outnumbered!
No shit, Sherlock.
That second gigas leaps into the air with his maul held high.
Yeah, you go boys. You hit that absolutely nothing at all, hit it hard!
Actually, Im being too harsh again, its actually pretty smart that someone on the Yshrenian side decided to lay down suppression fire. It stops Balandors troops from advancing on their lines, so it is in fact worth it to keep firing on No Mans Land. See: World War I.
Soldier: Over here! Hurry!
Oh yeah, Cisnas there too just watching all of this happen. Because she has balls of steel, thats why. Shes also there to provide some direct moral support for her troops.
Cisna: STOP LOSING YOU FUCKHOLES!!!
Long live the Queen.
Shes joined on the field by Captain Elvee, who unceremoniously became Cisnas replacement Cyrus in the intervening year between the start of the game 1 and right now.
Shes a relatively minor character and gets minimal dialog and no characterization, but I just felt the need to introduce her a little better than the game does. Shit, she isnt even named in the narrative. The only reason I found out her name is because she appears as a hidden NPC at the start of the game.
If you wander up to Balandor Castle after you get control over Leonard and the Avatar for the first time rather than going towards the exit and triggering the next cutscene, Elvee is standing there in the castle bailey readying a detachment of troops to go out on patrol on Greydall Plain. Most people never get the chance to see her because they just head out of the city and once you leave, shes gone and doesnt show up again until right now, just over half-way through the second game.
Elvee: Queen Cisna, please take refuge in the castle. Its not safe here.
Cisna: Not while Caesar is out there fighting.
Cisna: I aint losing another damn Knight.
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Darkest Hour (Unreleased Track)
Speaking of losers with Knights, Leonard stumbles into the scene just to remind you that he still technically exists.
Leonard: Cisna Please go inside.
Cisna: Aw shit, really? I thought Id locked you a closet.
Cisna: Leonard? Why are you
Elvee: Sir Leonard!
Cisna: Dont call him THAT. Did I knight the idiot? I dont think so!
He feebly staggers forward, every movement a labour in and of itself.
Leonard: Ill go take care of this.
I love how the siege towers on Balandors have banners flying Balandor colours, yet still show the Yshrenian insignia instead of Blandors one. Now that right there is Level-5.txt: well hit that button juuuuuust enough, but not completely now.
Cisna: You will not!
Shes simultaneous speaking out of concern for his safety, and making a general observation about his track record of taking care of things.
Cisna: Youre in no condition to use the Knight!
See, I told you she kind of touches at least once before this plot is over.
Savour this moment Cisnard shippers. THIS is the culmination of their one-sided romance: Cisna throwing herself on him as a last resort because she cant stand the thought of him killing himself for her sake.
Cisna: Leonard, please! This is all taking too great a toll on you.
Leonard: (OHMYGODS! Shes touching me! Shes actually touching me! Cisnas in like with me! This is the happiest moment of my)
Leonard: Oh poop! Leg cramp! NGHH!
Leonard: [INEFFECTUAL PANTYWAIST MOAN]
^^^ Im not joking about that one either. He literally just moans like a useless bitch.
Leonard: Doesnt matter. They need me.
Like they need a hole in their heads.
The ground shakes, and Leonard looks up in horror in a screencap I actually didnt take, surprisingly.
Caesar: H Hey Th-that tickles
And then he took a short nap.
Oh great, wyverns. What the hell is it with this chapter and wyverns?
The Wyvern Rex charges its plasma blast up, ready to blow the Dragon Knights head clean off while Leonard stands there idly and just watches it happen because hes a fuck up.
A flash of purple light sweeps over the battlefield. I wonder what this could mean?
Impalement: Its whats for dinner.
Caesar: What the ?
Eldore: Right in the nick of time.
[Cue Back in Black by AC/DC]
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Reinforcements (Game 2 OST, Track 6)
Leonard: Eldore! What whats going on?
Eldore: Heroism, my lad. Godshonest heroism. Pay attention.
Eldore: Meet the Moon Maiden.
So how awesome is Yulie again? Well, lets just see.
She draws and nocks a giant fuck off arrow.
And charges it up with magical energy.
So you know how over the course of the first game Leonard was made to look like an absolute chump by a single monoship? How the White Knight was powerless against the Magis supposedly invincible flying fortress?
Yulie just took out THREE OF THEM! In three seconds!
Three of them. Look at them burn.
Can we just change the name of this game to Moon Maiden Chronicles already? Because that was fucking amazing.
Yulie just upstaged an entire goddamn army in three seconds.
Once again, we see Akihiro Hinos special brand of incompetent writing in action as the title entity of this game has now officially been outshined by all four other Knights in this game. God dayum. Though in this case, Im not really complaining because Yulie and the Moon Maiden are absolutely incredible.
But were not done yet.
Cyrus also gets in on the action
Jumping from what has to be 1,000 feet in the air off of Osmunds glider
Without a parachute either.
And he sticks the landing too. Though the Farian judge only gave him a 6.8.
Cyrus: OW! SHIT! MY ANKLES!
Just like being voiced by Troy Baker gives Scardigne super powers, so too does being voiced by NOLAN NORTH give Cyrus super powers.
I mean, Jesus, the man can apparently swing his sword so fast it superheats the air around it.
Yshrenian Soldiers: AAAAAHH!
Welcome back Badass Cyrus. I was missing you so much. Lets just forget all about that whole Drunken Shitheel Racist Cyrus thing. Okay?
Yshrenian Solider #1: Oh gods! What do we do?
Yshrenian Solider #2: Rush blindly at him! That always works!
Yshrenian Solider #1: For that guy who kinda looks like a woman! KYAAAA!!!
Cyrus grabs this poor schmucks sword and tries his hand at some dual wielding.
Yshrenian Solider: Hey! Thats mine!
Cyrus: Not anymore!
Caught between two Yshrenian troops, Cyrus seems to be in trouble as a third soldier approaches from the front
But Cyrus just kicks him in the gut and keeps going.
Pictured: Kickass Jesus.
Heres the wind up
And its a home run!
Balandor Soldiers: Its him! Its Cyrus! I dont believe it!
Balandor Soldiers: S-Sir Cyrus!
Cisna: WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!
Cyrus: Come on then! Lets send these bastards running!
Balandor Soldiers: RRRRRAAAAA!!!
And for the first time in a long while, it was a good day for Balandor.
See? Less Leonard IS Best Leonard. And the streak isnt going to be stopping any time soon either.
But first, weve got one last interruption to endure.
CUTSCENE: Grazel Finally Gets Off His Ass
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Grazels Theme (Disc 2, Track 16)
We transition now to Grazel, still sitting in his big goddamn evil chair in his big goddamn evil fortress.
Ledom: The Moon Maiden has awoken. She fights for Balandor now.
Grazel: Remind me to strangle Shapur when he gets back here.
Grazel: Then all five of the Knights have been released.
Ledom: Weve lost some soldiers, but otherwise can proceed as planned.
Grazel: Which reminds me Where is the White Knights Pactmaker?
Grazel: Its unusual for him to sit out a battle.
Ledom: The boy Leonard?
Ledom: He is reportedly succumbed to some sort of illness, one which precludes him from calling upon the Knight.
Grazel: Hmph. Such a shame.
Grazel: Id hoped to end this childish farce once and for all.
You and me both, Crispin. And yet, it continues
Grazel: Thats fine.
Grazel: An opportunity will come.
Grazel: For now, I shall pay my other family a visit.
And Ledom just standing there smirking all the while, confident in the fact that hes absolutely rolling every other person in this game.
LEDOM IS LOVING THIS SHIT!
Wow. So thats what it feels like to be surrounded by capable people. Who would have guessed? All of Balandor spent the night celebrating our return. Yulies name was on everyones lips, and business at Rapacci Wines quadrupled instantly as pretty much the entire city flooded into the wine shop to own a piece of place the Saviour of Balandor once worked. I even stopped by and helped old Rageface out with the increased demand.
Id never seen him so proud before. He was beaming, thankful that his daughters triumph had washed away all his sons fuck ups at last.
Not a glace was seen of Leonard that night, though I overheard several people snickering about an orange haired loser, however.
I got that dinner, by the way.
- 10.1 - The Hunt Begins
- 10.2 - Return to Sinca
- 10.3 - Yulie Remembers
- 10.4 - Another Downed Windwalker
- 10.5 - Earth and Wind
- 10.i - Solum & Ventus Wyvern Boss Battle
- 10.6 - Pardon the Interruption
- 10.7 - The Therapy Session
- 10.8 - Can We Just Get This Ark Already?
- 10.9 - There The Silver Bow Doth Bide
- 10.ii - Efreet Boss Battle
- 10.10 - Yulie's Big Moment
- 10.11 - And That's How It's Done
- 10.12 - A Triumphant Return
- 10.13 - Grazel Finally Gets Off His Ass