Part 71: Quick! Everyone Run Before The Ending Gets Here!
CUTSCENE: Epilogue & Credits
CUTSCENE MUSIC: Fly My Blue Bird! Fly! (English Version) (Game 2 OST, Track 22) continued directly from previous chapter.
Our denouement begins with the Garmatha fortress falling lifelessly out of the sky into the ocean.
And then youre given the perfect visual metaphor for this game: a massive thing crashing and sinking into the sea with Akihiro Hinos name overlaid on top of it. Just to make sure you know who to blame now that this is all over with.
Were not getting any more dialog for the game, so let me give you my best interpretation of how I think things went after this point, because Im still chaffed that I didnt my Final Fantasy XII-style Kari Walhgren tells everyone to surrender to her glorious majesty ending.
[From the loud-speaker of the hastily repaired Shahgna flying over the ruins of the Garmatha Fortress]
Cisna: Attention soldiers of the micronation formerly known as the Empire of Yshrenina. You are beaten! Your Empire lies crushed beneath the might of my army. Your capital stands in ruins. Your flying fortress is felled. Your leaders are dead. Grazel is dead. Ledom is dead. Shapur is probably dead, I wasnt paying attention, to be hone
Eldore: [WHISPERS IN HER EAR]
Cisna: Shapur is DEFINITELY dead. Oh, and Madoras is dead too, but I dont really think any of you know or care who that is. My point is, you have until the count of ten to surrender unconditionally or I will turn my giant hammer-wielding Incorruptus loose on your collective asses and you will all die SCREAMING!
Cisna: [TURNS TO ORREN]
Cisna: I can count on you to do that, right?
Orren: Take your fucking bomb back and squat on it and Ill help you invade Greede for all you care.
Cisna: Deal. Right. TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEV
Yshrenian Remnant: WE SURRENDER! WE SURRENDER! Gods, please dont kill us!
Cisna: Once again, victory is undisputedly
Leonard: Ciiiiiisnaaaaaa! Im huuuungry!
Cisna: [PUNCH TO RIGHT EYE]
So remember when I told you to keep in mind that the Garmatha was literally stopped within spitting distance of the Balandor coast? And how the game was going to forget that completely?
Well, whos up for a colossal city-destroying tsunami?
Millions died that day.
Toppled over just off the Balandor coast, not unlike how the Bahamut wound up toppled over just outside of Rabanastre in FFXII, the Garmathas core quietly dies.
And now were left to ask the same question Sonys studio execs did when Hino handed them the final work print of White Knight Chronicles: who gets to clean up this mess?
Well, someone looks absolutely pleased with herself.
Cisna: Hot dogs and fireworks for EVERYONE!
Royal Army: YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
The army goes wild in celebration.
And I think these two dudes are about to start making out but the camera cuts back to Cisna and Miu before that happens. Because we cant have any homosexuality in a game thats already this paint-by-numbers safe.
Cisna: Also, one last thing. I was going to invade Faria and take it by force next week, but after staying up all night and talking with Miu, we realized we actually had a lot in common. SO! Instead of a hostile takeover, we instead will be combining our lands through peaceful means.
Miu: Were getting married!
Cisna: Hey! Spoilers!
Leonard: Wha? But Cisna! I-I thought you were in like with m
Cisna: Choke on a horse cock and die already. You dont got a Knight anymore and you nearly got everyone in this room killed thrice over because youre a dumbass. Youre dead to me.
Orren: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! Eat it, you tool!
Cisna and Miu share a knowing nod and smile while Cyrus and Elvee brofist it up in the background.
Cisna: ROLL THE CREDITS!
I dont think you can do tha
Holy shit, she can!
So now we get the second games idea of a conclusion. We dont even get the unvoiced tableaus of the first game, we just get a Windows Movie Maker slideshow presentation.
First up we get a recap of the plots of both games, in case everyone forgot what all happened over the course of the last nine months that this LP has been happening.
First up, the very start of the game with Belcitane, Karas Dragias, and Shapur overlooking Balandor Castletown. And once again, Shapur is treated as a periphery thing in the game, being covered over by the text of the credits.
Still though, remember Belcitane? Remember how awesome he was? Good times
The Magi attack on Balandor Castle
The only time Leonard does anything remotely heroic: stopping a 10,070 year-old man from harming a girl he actually had every intention of keeping safe because she was the key to all his plans.
But still, you tried, Leonard. If nothing else, you sort of tried.
Ah, young . Not-love.
The genesis of all our problems
And then Kara turns around, makes Leonard look like a punk and makes the game instantly better.
Also you can see here that Akihiro Hino personally wrote the games intro and ending songs, and I will be posting the lyrics to them at the end of this update for you to see what word salad garbage they all are.
Im still convinced that was all in Leonards head. I really, legitimately, out-of-angry LP narrator-character am.
And then sex happened.
And another example of Leonard fucking up and letting the bad guys win. Hey, remember when Leonard swore not to let Grazel get his hands on the Sun King and then arrived like ten minutes late so Grazel got his hands on the Sun King and won by default?
Leonards a tool.
And now we start recapping the second game. Why does this kind of feel like when a major motion picture is edited for a television broardcast and they curtail the credits by fastforwarding through everything at like 5 times its original running speed?
Of all the things to remind the player of, theyve just GOT to keep bringing up the goddamn Toads
Im surprised there isnt a shot in between here of Leonard falling on his ass one of the dozen or so times it happens in either game.
But at least we get to recap our brief victories again: Cyrus stopped being a drunk racist.
Yulie got the Moon Maiden.
Kara got not dead.
Cyrus stopped being a loser with Daddy Issues.
Miu became Archduchess.
And Cisna magicd a sword out of her ass.
And three honest cheers to our voice actors, the vast majority of whom gave even a game this silly and stupid their all and made it somewhat enjoyable overall, other issues aside.
And from here we transition to the ACTUAL epilogue of the game
Cisna: Okay, you got your one hug. Now get out.
Raus: O-oh! Miss Yulie! Welcome ba
Yulie: Are you STILL fucking drunk, Raus?!
Raus: Uuuuuh w-well, maybe just a *hic* lit
Yulie: [ROUNDHOUSE KICK]
Yulie: Its good to be home.
Note that Leonard is nowhere to be seen in this scene, nor was Yulie anywhere to be seen in the platonic hugfest of the last image between Leonard and his imaginary girlfriend. Yulie has finally, officially moved on and divorced Leonard from her life completely.
Congratulations, Yulie. Youre the real winner of this game.
Back in Greede, the staff of the Drisdall household cheers wildly at Caesar and Karas return to the city.
Amir: Welcome back, Young Master!
Caesar: Eeeey-hey! How you been, Amir?
Amir: Absolutely stupendous, Young Master. And a mighty welcome to you as well, Lady Kara.
Kara: Heh. Lady? Well thats gonna take some getting used to.
Steward: Indeed, Lord Caesar, Lady Kara. Welcome home.
Caesar: Yeaaaaaah. About that one. Hey, Amir Why is the city stuck on a hillside and leaning over to one side like this?
Amir: Not my fault.
Miu and Lorias pray to the palm goddess in the Lost Forests Spring quadrant.
Miu: And I want a bicycle, and a pony, and a Malibu Stacey doll Oh, and a sequel on the PlayStation4.
Lorias: Youre not really getting what this whole prayer things about, are you, Little Miu?
Miu: Were not getting a sequel, are we, Ban Lorias?
Lorias: No, child. I fear not.
Well, if nothing else, Osmund and Rocco are happy they dont have to appear in any more White Knight Chronicles-related material. Osmunds doubly happy because hes like Level-5s version of Cid. Hell turn up in another game somewhere down the line Hopefully something better than this one.
Oh, and this shit keeps happening. What the hell happened to cant leave the oasis or shell die? Huh, Level-5? Nice to see you dont give a shit about stated plot points and will just throw any old shit out there for the sake of a sight gag.
Also, holy fuck Don Phibianaccis a shitbag if he actually is moving his mistress into the house with his wife. Motherfucking frog sex.
Never forget that, people. Level-5 consciously decided to make FROG SEX a part of this game.
Ooooh, heres a bad idea waiting to happen. Either Cyrus has been made Cisnas new Chancellor of the Privy Council, or he found Sarvains old wardrobe and is doing a dress up like the dead guy and act like a total dick to insult his memory routine.
Whats more, this is either way in the future or Cyrus starts pulling double duty as both general and chancellor, because the next time we see him hell be back in his Castleguard attire leading the Royal Army once again.
And Elvee and the Turks just smile, nod, and humour him because Cisna will have them executed if they dont approve of every little decision that tumbles out of her diseased mind.
Also, good to see Cyruss toadies survived the events of the game. You can see Oswald in the background there, and this is the first time Noel and Warren turn up in the second game (story-wise, all four Cyrusites show up in a game 2 Avatar quest). Anecias also there on the extreme right of the picture, but shes cut off by the black Photoshop filter Level-5 put around each slide so you can only barely make out a shape that might be her if you squint.
God, I think even Elena got more screentime in Advent Children than her expy does in this game.
And Cisna goes back to being the First Lady of Balandor, apparently. Is it sad that shes got a more believable relationship with this group of children in a silent still image than she ever had with Leonard while the game was in motion and being voice acted?
And Eldore returns to being a wandering vagabond now that his life has no meaning once again. Or rather, he retired having accomplished all his goals.
I dont really know. Im just thinking Cisna forbade him from ever entering the castle, once again on account of the Old Man Stench. That shit is killer.
Special thanks to D3 for half-assedly bringing the game over to North America and then stiffing everyone on the Avatar Story you promised to localize. Have fun making more licensed tie-in shovelware for the rest of your corporate existence, guys; because Im pretty sure this will be the highlight of your game catalogue in retorspect.
Also, what the fuck did Namco Bandai do for this game? Are you telling me that Hino called in Bamco to bail his ass out and the game STILL turned out to be a piece of shit?
And to think, this was the essentially the demo reel he sent to Bandai to convince them to let him make Gundam AGE. You only have yourselves to blame for that, Bandai. You saw it coming.
The most misleading credit in this game as Im convinced it had neither a) a plan of any sort behind it, or b) production values.
Yeah, I bet Sonys proud the own the copyright to THIS, arent they?
And Kazuo Hirai sat in his office gently weeping into his hands in despair. Final Fantasy XIII had been a turd. White Knight Chronicles had been a bomb and a turd. Final Fantasy Versus XIII had been a production disaster. Xenoblade Chronicles and The Last Story had been lost to the Wii because Namco fucked over Tetsuya Takashi and Square fucked over Hironobu Sakaguchi. And Kingdom Hearts III was just a scribble on a Post-It note on Tetsuya Nomuras To Do board, right underneath Actually start working on
The days of Sonys JRPG dominance were over. They were killed by dumbass farm boy named Leonard, and his giant, useless robot.
Speaking of, the Great White Dope has one last action to fulfil before we kick him the fuck out of our lives for good.
He approaches the pedestal in the castle treasure vault from whence he grabbed the White Knights Ark and started this whole shitshow a year ago.
He was a useless idiot when he walked in here, he remains a useless idiot even now.
He places the now powerless Ark back on the pedestal.
I dont know why hed even bother seeing as how its useless now, but whatever. Since Cisna killed Madoras its technically a war trophy now.
Also, dont get your
There is a neat kind of symmetry to it, I suppose. He starts the game picking up the Ark to (fail at) saving Cisna. And he ends the game by putting the Ark back after (failing at) saving Cisna and instead being saved BY Cisna.
Its like poetry; it rhymes.
Cisna: Okay, now get the fuck out and dont come back. NOW!
He walks away and doesnt look back. I always expect him to look back, just because its a cliché of this kind of situation, but no, he just keeps on walking right out into obscurity and oblivion, probably painfully aware that even with getting swaths of innocent people and creatures killed just by existing, failing to accomplish even the simplest goals, and then becoming the monstrous villain hed set out to defeat in the first place, even after all those black marks, this will still be the high-water mark for his life.
19 years old, and his prospects are so dim that I once accidentally became Super Hitler will be the story he proudly tells to I want to say his grandchildren, but the thought of Leonard procreating fills me with horror and disgust.
And on that note, we fade softly to black. Though the White Knight may no longer be a part of its narrative, the White Knight Chroncile still has a few more chapters to cover before we can close the book on it for good.
Meanwhile, in Frass Chasm Somewhere just south of the settlement of Orrenstown, a young Papitaur travels races through the canyon, out of breath and panicked beyond all reason.
Or rather, panicked with good reason, as a Greaver spawn thunders up behind her, chasing down its prey.
Papitaur: Somebody help meeeeeeeee!!!
Orren: Fear not, miss.
Orren: Dont you worry your little rabbity head there.
Orren: I got this shit.
LOCAL MAYOR SAVES DISTRESSED TRAVELLER, news at 11:00!
In a format that precluded 90% of the people who played it from seeing the games true ending.
While this may seem like a stopping point here, weve actually only hit the first of several false bottoms between now and the ACTUAL end of the game and the LP.
From here out, we transition fully into the haunted wasteland of misspent hours and ill-conceived gameplay known as the post-game of White Knight Chronicles II.
Were not done yet. Not by a long shot.
Steel yourselves, my lovelies
But first, CONGRATULATIONS, EVERYONE!
The Battlefield Flower (English Version) posted:
Lyrics: Akihiro Hino
Vocals: Cindy Alexander
You, you are
The wind the gentle wind caressing me
You, you are
My dream, my lonely dream that fades away
And now, I'm lost here without you
Alone in the dark
Wake me up
And open my eyes
The moon hangs low in a black and bloody sky
Shining down on a dark and weary world
Arrow made of light
Piercing through the night
Tears a hole in the darkness
I followed you to the end of the earth
Where the sky meets a cold dry land
Oh feel the wind blowing
The flower made of fire
Blooms in a battlefield
I am walking the world searching for the sweetest smile
Waiting for the sign to show me the way
Darling I will be your angel in a gathering storm
I won't ever let you fall
I won't let you fade away
Resurrecting all the power in my sword
Tonight I tear out the earth with my might
The city turns to ashes as we sleep
Sorrow wraps her arms around the meek
You will rise above
Destined to be mine
Spirit turns into ecxstacy
The battle scars a heart yearning for truth
A reason for the pain of loving you
Oh feel the wind blowing the flower made of fire
blooms on the battlefield
Only hope can lead us through a dark and desperate hour
I will follow my heart 'til I hold you again
Oh I will pray tonight on a bright and shooting star
That souls bound as one will find their way to the light
Resurrecting all my will, all of my might
We'll shatter the sky in the fight
A brand new era has begun
Forever starts today
When love has won, then the struggle will be done
Hold on to hope
That we'll find Eden
Wind begins to cry cause the lovers rule the sky
Ah the Epilogue begins to play
Darling I will chase my dream
Over tossed and stormy seas
Souls bound as one will find their way to the light
Resurrecting all my will, all of my might
I give you my life to renew
The miracle I save for you
-Fly! -My Bluebird- (English Version) posted:
Lyrics: Akihiro Hino
Vocals: Cindy Alexander
Gron mesdriel selvimel martaku filtaimelta segran martyusalzi
Gron mesdriel sel mantius gratius des(mantius gratius) elta (maika verta) grita (elsen vito) fideus val
Aftedur premissata lisenmata deus prense val
Gron mesdriel prense val sel martaku
Altavi altari kari val
The wind sends a message to you my love
It's blowing through an open window
Brushing the hair from your face
I see a tearful eye
Pray tell my love what moves your soul to fly
Away we go in darkening sky
the clouds are chasing all the love I send
Over the rainbow and into the heavens I follow you there
Be strong, my love will light up the way
Higher and higher over peaks and valleys far below
Through every forest to cross over ravaging seas you will go
The rain and the fire just feed my desire to hold you again
Fly oh fly, high as the sun
A time will come for us
And I believe
Our journey ends in love
Where there's a heaven we'll get there
Some way and somehow
here and now you know I keep the hope alive
Fly on high, blue bird fly
Angels sing so far beyond the east end sea
Hear their song echo in the west end wind
Where there's heaven we'll get there
Some way adn somehow
here and now you know I see our destiny
Fly on high, blue bird fly