Part 18: Update/Video 18

Update/Video 18

So at the end of these XCOM threads I like to post all the unused and extra things I have in my TFTD folder in one giant text dump. You guys like text dumps, right?

First, the applications. You can download all the applications as word .docs. I've split them into three roughly equal sized portions for your convenience.

Applications received through GMail
Applications received through Private Messaging
Applications received from Arrrthritis

I'd like to thank Arrrthritis for being the only person, as far as I know, to submit more than one application. I don't believe I left any personal info in those documents like real names or emails, but if I did, be sure to tell me and maybe I'll edit it out and reupload the docs. I mean it's not like you're going to get any more spam than what I already signed you all up for anyway so it's not a big deal.

Here are the images people attached to the applications as I mentioned in the final video.

Felime with the clever Zanderbuck:


Noshtane sending me worthless, nearly on par Benjamins:


SenorSpangiel knows the deal by sending this three times, even if he didn't resize the image properly. Our money is just as rectangular as yours.


Mord A Edil though comes through as the clear winner:


Gatac is a cheap bastard:


Beeswax doesn't know what the fuck.


All of you deserve special credit for not shitting up this thread with "fuck the sea, and everything in it" or other C'thulhu related crap. You found your own crap to shit this thread up with.


In Apocalypse I killed 98 of you. I tried a little harder in UFO Defense and casually slaughtered 130 goons. This time I went all out and in a much shorter thread I savagely ended 152 people. Here are your names, ranked from best application to worst.

Studly
ThunderPollen
Felime
Skully Bullets
Abugadu
The Casualty
Harry Headcrab Jenkinson
Gatac
Hankor
Nicholas E Buntline III
Waylon Gesundheit
a man of ill repute
hafl
Tiny Turtle
Clayton "striker" Pinkle
Number 36 v2
Tikiglass
Geno Soup Soprelli
Thaddius the Large
Hans Remote
MaskedHuzzah
Chewbot
docfrance
Terror Van
MJ12
Nicholai Xavier Cangelosi (NX Cang)
Elman Dahuevos
Lairek
Kliff Kowalski
Lloyd "grandpathong" Braddock
Bobbin Threadbare
Kermit "Sirocco" Hannon
Lilac-one
LordBaxter
bobvonunheil (oops you were ranked higher than this but I missed you)
Ignorance
Zyla
Hyrda, Duke of Cola
AMURICANN HERO
Golden N. Zucchini
Strange Matter
Anitcheese
RZApublican
CGChewinsburg
CannonFodder
Nemo2342
Sejs Cube
Joan Makille
Zaa Boogie
C Wren
Hbar
Heavy Neutrino
Professor Bling
Urcinius
Mehuyael
TGLT
Teledahn
Canuck
SenorSpangiel
Toki
Techokami
Phil Nye
Sad King Billy
Buzz Armstrong
Finkelstein
HitTheTargets
S.U.P. Meatbag
YOTC
Dareon
X_oran
Chester "Intern" Fenwick
Joespeh Lucky Joe Carlyle
notPsion
Daeren
PVtScott
Beeswax
Dirtanium
Unsupervised Horse
Caecilius Magnus Eruditus
Steelion
Black Balloon
Jack Anderson
Noshtane
Amnistar
JesusB
Dr_Amazing
Johnny Thrace
Ramc
Speleothing
Manfred Kruger
Toxic Frog
Angela Christine AC
Alexander 'Blight' Tankowski
Virtuality
Iamyourking
Ilanin
redreader
Humboldt Squid
PotatoManJack
Nimby
Arrest That Ass!
Demented Bill
Renegret
Luquos
FrickenMoron
Xavier Genisi
Finnish Flasher
Koboje
Shiver
GenericOVerusedName
Mord A Edill
Karate Bastard
Ellen de Bunchastu
Xcountryguy
Just Call Me Bob
Bluemage
Febreze
Tor
Magnus Nephilm
crucialityfactor
StringofLetters
Shark Mafia
kDanthe
PantslessScot
Doc William Hat
Pumpkinreaper
Cormack
Zoinker
Engineman First Class Chance II
Corporal Monty Cain
Dr. Doctor
Y-Hat
Dulkor
Jeremiah "Mythos" Allen
Rhumbus
Sarge Nytell
Char T. Iron
Magni
Randomosity
RaffyTaffy
Vlad Antlerkov
Drewjitsu
Dr. Danny Glover
Louis
Jon Irenicus
Nada
Wikus van der Merwe
Carl Sagan
Cowcaster
Arrrthritis
Michael Sperger
Andy Waltfeld

Rhumbus deserves some awesome credit for compiling this data table:


I now give you a chance to cool down your mouse wheel by giving you what I know you want to read:



YEAH HAIKUS!!!!!!!!!!

I'M SO GOOD AT IT,
THAT ONE TIME, I DID THIS THING,
IT WAS SO AWESOME!

Aliens stalk me
Old games can still be scary
Unable to sleep

I really don't know
I'm not bad at early game
But my saves don't work

I send men to death
because I don't want my men
to live with horror.

Chryssalids attack
Night terror mission in Guam
Um, yeah, sorry Guam.

Sectoids fear my team
Mutons are not a problem
I make snakemen cry

Swarmed by chrysalids
My stress is reaching its peak
I cry tears of blood

How can I perform?
My squad will die instantly.
So, um, not at all.

My strength at X-COM
is lacking, sort of like a
match against a duck

wisdom from wu-tang
lyrics forever retold
bitches get stitches

I never got past
the third mission. They got too
hard for me. I suck.

I beat veteran
And played through iron man games
I love laser guns

I send human waves
Of rookies with armed H.E.
It works well sometimes

Zap zap zap I hear
One more corpse, one less payroll
Better crouch next time

Like well polished team.
My soldiers fight enemies.
Blaster bomb dooms all.

I really kicked ass
Until the cryssalids came
Fuck, im a zombie

Meet Mind Control
One Hundred Fifty Two Turns
Yet Two Survivors

This was Beginner
why do I suck so badly?
Time for a restart

It was all fine 'til...
Chrysallids! They are legion!
Death on Beginner.

Waves of good soldiers
They drain aliens' ammo
I win in the end

Once upon a time
There were hordes of lobstermen
Now there aren't; go me

Greetings, Alien
Welcome to our Planet Earth
Please go away now

Fourteen heroes gone,
forever in memory...
Till the next mission

A terror mission:
Sectopods are everywhere!
God, I love lasers.

Cautious, perhaps too.
Yet always I move forward.
Lose impatiently.

Secret arms dealer
Wire-guided bombs are the best
Scouts always explode

Four Recruits are kept
Only Aliens will die
Four Will Fly to mars

Impact in the wastes
Behold, cables convey light.
A series of tubes.

Desolate places
Devoid of wit, of merit.
Rank sores on the land.

Some wretches dwell here.
Fellows, spare them your pity;
They abide by choice.

Watchers high above,
Scratching in the walls at night,
Bipedal lobsters.


yeah.......haikus???????

No experience,
How hard can slaying monsters be?
My ally is "Load"

Exit the ship
I hope the tank lives
Why is my Captain a zombie

finished it no prob
but that was fifteen years ago
cannot remember.

~*a snapshot reserved
fells a mighty chrysalid
later it wakes*~

Whitecaps on the ocean
Lobstermen screaming from tazers
Guava crys to sleep

I ice Chryssalids
Like they were Sectoids with pistols
I don't take no shit.

Apocalypse in real time
Is quite detrimental to one's skills
What were "time units" again?

unbeatable was i
until difficulty bug
destroyed precious ego

I AM ALMOST DONE
MOST OF THE SNAKEMEN ARE DEAD
ONLY TWO MORE TO GO

Apocalypse comes
hoverbike swarms take flight
wow, they died quickly

I am sure I'll win,
since I beat tee eff tee dee,
against your aliens

I bring the sonic cannons to bear
The aliens scream and scatter everywhere
I seek them out within their very lair
Incinerating them all down to the very last hair

Bolts of agony
Torrential sheets of regret.
The concluding storm.
Will I rise, or be drawn down?
Woah, tanka out of nowhere.



This remains as best post in the thread.

I didn't remember it was Elman who posted this until I looked for it just now! We all loved Elman, right? Sure we did! Just ask Felime!


Well if it's good enough for him, it's good enough to be...

Bonus video 18

Viddler
Polsy

YouTube Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Music: The soundtrack to The Book of Eli

X-COM Soldiers attending: Coolwhoami, Mxlplx, Tobias Grant, Django Plantiumbeard, Lancelot, LGargly


Results:  Another fantastic XCOM LP from GuavaMoment