The Let's Play Archive

X-COM: UFO Defense

by GuavaMoment

Part 12: Intergalactic Sardine Cans

Chapter 13: Intergalactic Sardine Cans

: I watched a lot of tape the next few days in the infirmary. I got shot in the gut which hurt like a bitch, but at least I wasn't Terashell. It's hard to relax when the guy next to you is cursing a blue streak, pooping out of a tube, yet still hitting on all the nurses despite it.

: UFO-7 came at a time when we were still reeling from the losses on the attack on Tokyo.

: The decision was made to drop the ship in the Bay of Biscay, and lose out of any potential rewards from it.

: UFO-8 was detected over the Atlantic..

: But quickly went out of radar range.

: UFO-9 went down over the Aegean. Shortly afterward we had resupplied our Skyranger and were again ready for real missions.


UFO-10 - Austria

Waddle Dee operating the tank

Sugary, Pander18, Mr. Peepers, Keyboard Fox, Loden Taylor, Ice Phisherman, Ainsley McTree, Overmind 2000, X-Future, Vallhallan attending

Waddle Dee: This is how you do it, Rookies!

Waddle Dee: Well, not entirely like that. That almost never happens.

Waddle Dee: God damn! I've never seen them surround our Skyranger like this before!

Ainsley McTree: No worries here though. Laser rifles are awesome!

Mr. Peepers: Hey Dee, check to make sure the ones you shoot are actually dead!

Mr. Peepers: They want us to catch leaders, right? Is this one a leader?

Sugary: That's a soldier.

Mr. Peepers: How can you tell?

Sugary: Just pick it up.

Mr. Peepers: Hmm, it does feel soldiery.

Vallhallan: Ship's over here. Everyone, pile in!

Overmind 2000: This is what I love about the lasers - bush in your way? Shoot it!

Overmind 2000: Can't do that with bullETTSGJGSJWWAAAHHH

Vallhallan: Ship's almost clear, there's one deep inside.

Vallhallan: Got it!

: It was later determined that Vallhallan had somehow faked his physical results. His peripheral vision was actually far below minimum requirements, leading here to his death. A normal soldier should have seen that Sectoid.

Ice Phisherman: I thought I heard something shooting behind this hedge.

Ice Phisherman: Ah ha!

: I didn't get to know Ainsley too well before his death.

: It's a shame. The guys were saying he told the funniest dick jokes you've ever heard.

Keyboard Fox: Last one!


Casualties: Ainsley McTree, Overmind 2000, Vallhallan


Nurse: Excuse me, are you Terashell?


Nurse: Yes, that's what I thought. Congratulations sir!

Terashell: On what? Taking a solid dump for the first time in a week?

Nurse: No, on your promotion!

Terashell: But I didn't fucking DO anything!


:We all had a huge scare on the 19th.

: We were fearing it was another terror mission, but we lost track of the ship over the Atlantic.

: A different scout ship wasn't so fortunate.


UFO 12 - France/Germany border Waddle Dee operating the tank Sugary, Pander18, Mr. Peepers, Keyboard Fox, Loden Taylor, Ice Phisherman, X-Future, Getao, The Raz, Broose attending

:This one was the best mission we've had yet. The Raz found the ship pretty quickly, and then Waddle Dee made the most awesome shot from his tank that I've ever seen.

: The Raz began the assault.

: Pander18 finished it.

: Well almost. I'm pretty sure this is when he actually died.

: Loden Taylor finally finished the last one off.

: We were all really happy that we had the smallest lost of life in any mission to date - just one soldier.


Casualty: Pander18 for the third and final time.

: Of course every time we think we're doing well, the universe finds a way to shit on us.


Terashell posted:

Playing Log - Captain Dominic "Terashell" Maxwell - February 14th, 1999 - XCOM Facility Early Light
Log Recorded in Medical Bay, voices not belonging to recorder removed

I honestly don't know what the fuck the brass is thinking. Maybe they're as doped up on meds as I am. They promoted me to Captain yesterday after the active grunts cleared a UFO the flyboys shot down. I have no idea why. Just means I have more pull in things, hopefully, once I'm out of this damn bed.

Lost three more guys, and someone left a Valentine's card on my nightstand while I was having another fucked up med-dream. I have no idea who it's from, but it smells like it's from the science division, all sterile rooms and chemicals...

Otto's doing a bit better than I am, mainly because he doesn't have to shit in a bag through a tube while his colon heals.

Fuck, I'm too tired, and my meds are wearing off. YO! Bedtime here!

End Log
Playing Log - February 21st, 1999 - XCOM Facility Early Light

HAHAHAHAAH! WOOOO! Holy Shit, Waddle, I can't believe you fucking did that shot!
Here, have another shot *sounds of glass clinking* So glad to be out of the med bay...

Oh jesus, that was the best fucking shot I've seen from any tank. Shot clean through the house to hit a sectoid.

We lost Pander again? What? ... Wasn't he dead a while ago? Are the R&D guys cloning him or something? Fuckin' hell... Well, one casualty is better than 7, but not as good as none. Keep shooting like that and we'll have this little invasion wrapped up in no time.

Man, I can't wait to get back in the field now that it looks like we stand a chance. Oo-rah!

End Log

Christ, don't tell me my first mission back is another goddamn terror mission