The Let's Play Archive

X-COM: UFO Defense

by GuavaMoment

Part 22: We Should Have Researched Needle Cannon

Chapter 23: We Should Have Researched Needle Cannon

:There was a lot of hubbub when this UFO was detected. It was explained to me that on every UFO detected, there was a word in a certain part of the transmission that had always been translated into 'Sectoid' or 'Floater'. This word was neither, implying a third intelligent alien species was crewing the UFO.

: Fortunately it was only a medium scout, and Affi had the first plasma beam attached to his Interceptor. I was told the plasma beam "loses coherence" at a range shorter than the maximum range of the avalanche missile. Luckily it still provides the opportunity to outrange the weapons distance on most UFOs and packs a huge wallop. Dual plasma beams even have the capability of destroying medium scout ships in mid-air.


UFO 27 - Northern Italian border

Waddle Dee operating the tank

Otto Zander, Roar, Heinrich von Paxicon, Kulex, Some Internet Guy, Ulsoro, Ceciltron, Vlad Antlerkov, Andrew Jackson, Diamato attending

Waddle Dee: Let's see what we're up against here.

Waddle Dee: Looks like a

Waddle Dee: Snakemen die just like everything else! Off the ship, boys!

Waddle Dee: There's very little left of the UFO, I can see a bunch of bodies in there.

Some Internet Guy: Two of them to the north!

Some Internet Guy: OH GOD that was too close!

Otto Zander: That's more luck than most Rookies get.

Some Internet Guy: Got it! Five seconds into my first mission and I have one kill and I'm not dead! Does this mean I get to be Sergeant now?

Otto Zander: Yeah, that seems to be the way things work around here.

Andrew Jackson: The other one's dead too. And no one died!

Heinrich von Paxicon: Ship's clear. Hey Waddle Dee, I have to object to the name "Snakeman".

Waddle Dee: What's wrong with it? It's descriptive.

Heinrich von Paxicon: Yeah, but it's too easy. You're setting a precedent calling them something stupid like that. Call them Ophidians, or something not so lame.

Ulsoro: Why don't I just capture one and we can ask it its name?

Ulsoro: Here we go, one shot and I'll just-

Andrew Jackson: ONE MISSION. Can't there be one mission without someone dying? There's one more near you Pax.

Heinrich von Paxicon: I read you.

Heinrich von Paxicon: I think that's all she wrote for this one.

Some Internet Guy: DUDE I totally called it!


Casualty: Ulsoro


Gay at Heart posted:

December 9, 1828
Dearest Rachel,

I hope that this letter finds you good of health and sound of mind, wherever you may be. I apologize for leaving at such sudden notice, and from my own victory party nonetheless, but I had pressing business to attend to in dealing with that scoundrel Quincy. I will never forgive him for the grief he has caused you over out marriage. At some point during the ride, I'm afraid that I must've fallen from my horse, for when I awoke this morning I found myself in an unfamiliar house, amongst strangers. The room was lit by a harsh white light that seemed to emanate from the ceiling in a manner unlike that of any candle or lamp I have ever seen. When I inquired as to how I came to be in this strange room, a nurse in an alien uniform informed me I had been found unconscious on the ground outside, and taken in under the care of these kindy people, who go by the last name of Eckscomb. An unusual name to be sure, but I was infinitely grateful for their assistance. I informed her of who I was, and I must admit that I was rather insulted by her lack of deference to the future president of the United States. However, these were the backwoods, so it was understandable that perhaps news had not yet traveled here. More puzzling, she failed to recognize me as the hero of the Battle of New Orleans; saying that she didn't realize there was an Eckscomb "base" in the United States. I'm afraid that she was not of sound mind, for she continually referred to the Seminoles as "Sectoids" and seemed to be under the impression they came from the sky! A more confused following of events I've never heard.
Our discussion was cut short however, by what seemed to be the voice of God himself. Had I injured my head worse in my fall than I thought? However, the nurse seemed to hear the voice too, and informed me that I was needed in "Bay 2", after handing me a brown uniform. At this point I had had quite enough, and demanded to be shown to the patriarch of the family, but she had already left the room. My clothes had evidently been sorted elsewhere, so I put on the uniform and left the room. Once outside, I realized that I was not in fact in a house, and rather in a military fort of some kind. A group of soldiers armored in what appeared to be medieval plate mail pushed past me, and I followed, hoping they too were headed to this "Bay 2".
I'm afraid that it is at this point that my memory has taken to a flight of fancy, as I found myself in a surreal dream, inhabited by metal boxes that moved as though by witchcraft, and snakes that had grown to become tall as men and sprouted arms. Surely these are demonic images implanted by the damage I sustained in the fall, but everything felt so real. I saw a man cut down before me by what appeared to be the touch of God himself. For now, I am afraid that I must remain with the Eckscombs, until I am of sound enough health to travel. My heart breaks with each day we are apart, and I anxiously await the day I will see you again.

President of the United States Andrew Jackson


Ulsoro posted:

Journal of Ulsoro:

Finally! After four months of being in limbo, my paperwork finally came through. Not only do I finally get to see real combat but the bastards also bumped me up to combat pay. Hrm... We've been called to a mission briefing. Write more later.


Ooh, my first combat mission! A chance to see an entirely new species! Sure we're at war, but think how much we can learn just by interrogating, and dissecting, a completely new species. And to think, I'll go down forever as one of the first humans to ever meet one of these things. This is going to be the best day of my life.


Mission log:

Ulsoro: Why don't I just capture one and we can ask it its name?
Ulsoro: Here we go, one shot and I'll just-


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