The Let's Play Archive

X-COM: UFO Defense

by GuavaMoment


Chapter 27: Friendly Rivalry OR Where The Game Realizes It's On Superhuman

: Since I got to the Kiryu-Kai base, we hadn't actually intercepted a single UFO. Our Interceptor pilot over here was having a bit of a rivalry with the Early Light boys, about who could shoot down more ships. Our pilot Lord Fancington followed another Floater crewed Abductor west.

: Then a second Floater Abductor was detected; the third in under a week. Something was clearly going on. Typically, alien abductions were done as secretly as possible, with the abductees psionicly brainwashed to forget the experience. Unobtrusive experiments were performed to gather data on humans and human reproduction.

: During the end of April, Abductors were capturing people, never to be seen again. No one knew what they were planning with this tactic at the time, though it only took two weeks to discover that particular, horrible, secret.

: Affi managed to shoot down the first Abductor, and the Early Light squad was sent after it. Affi and Lord Fancington raced to the second one.

: Lord F. got there first.

: For the first time, X-COM was operating simultaneous UFO recoveries. One team from each base.


UFO 37 - Egypt

Waddle Dee operating the tank

Some Internet Guy, Raptus, Cooked Auto, Kitfox88, Thaumocrat, Bob Smith, Soylent Cola, iLurk, Willcrouch and Forest Fuckery attending

Waddle Dee: The UFO's in bad shape.

Waddle Dee: Area's clear. Watch for ones trying to float on top of the ship this time!

Waddle Dee: Oh what - I didn't get it; backup!

Cooked Auto: No worries, I killed it.

Bob Smith: There's a huge hole in the side of the ship, everyone pile through there!


Cooked Auto: Right in front of you, you say? Let me take my aim...

Cooked Auto: Did I get it?

Forest Fuckery: DAMN! How'd you make that shot?! That's kind of freaky!

Kitfox88: JESUS! Auto, you said you killed this one! It's still not dead!

iLurk: I got it. Sounds dead to me!

Kitfox88: Finally, but we have a bigger problem.

Kitfox88: Floater inside the UFO! If you have a shot, take it!

Soylent Cola: One down.

Thaumocrat: Once more, for the first time, into the breach!



UFO 38 - Ethiopia

Bovines operating the tank

Otto Zander, Ryo, Andrew Jackson, Tasian, Sam Meatshield, Ze Pollack, JonLikesPie, Dirdum, Wild M, and Master Ninja attending

Bovines: They told me these guys like to greet the Skyranger. Why do they do that?

Bovines: I guess they don't yet know of the awesomeness of Bovines!

Andrew Jackson: Out of the ship, everyone spread out. Ze Pollack, stay close to the hull in case they float up top.

Ze Pollack: I hereby dub this spot "Ceciltron's Hidey-Hole".

Ze Pollack: I am invincible hiding here!

Ze Pollack: AAAAaaaaawwwwwwwgggghh....

Sam Meatshield: SNIPER IN THE BARN!

Sam Meatshield: Huuuuurk...

Master Ninja: Sure is dark over here, let me help out.

Master Ninja: There! The electroflare brightened up the area!

JonLikesPie: Good, now shoot any aliens you see there!

Master Ninja: That's...that's going to be a problem.

JonLikesPie: WHAT THE FUCK!? Who authorized that weapons layout?

Master Ninja: As a ninja, I know three hundred forty-two ways to kill you with just an electroflare.

Wild M: Jackson, duck!

Wild M: Got it!

Andrew Jackson: Cool call sir, thank you for not shooting my block off.

Andrew Jackson: Another villainous enemy hiding in the shadows! Men, pepper him with firepower!

Tasian: Outside area is all quiet now.

Wild M: In I go!

Wild M: Nothing! I was expecting something more exciting.

Otto Zander: That wasn't so bad, was it? You didn't get shot. Now for the next room.

Wild M: How many rooms does this ship have?

Otto Zander: Many.

Wild M: You guys having a party?

Wild M: HELP.

Tasian: Right behind you!

Tasian: Ho - holy shit, we killed them all!

Otto Zander: Now for the next room!

Andrew Jackson: No horrible ambush here.

Andrew Jackson: An enemy has appeared to have already succumbed to wounds inflicted in the crash. There is also an intact device with the fuel we were ordered to capture.

Wild M: Oh shit, this is it!

Wild M: Oh god ohgodohgod, I'm still alive!

JonLikesPie: Anti-grav device here, who wants to try it out?

Wild M: I'll go, sounds like fun.

Tasian: Also you should go because you fire back faster than anyone I've ever seen. Keep the heckling of aliens to a minimum though.

Wild M: Might as well go with something funny than cries of anguish if I'm about to die.

Wild M: Guess I'm not dying yet.

JonLikesPie: Here's a trick Zander taught me.

JonLikesPie: NOW! SHOOT!

JonLikesPie: Now THAT's how you stop an ambush!


Raptus: WHAT IN THE-

Cooked Auto: It burns!

Cooked Auto: Raptus, your head! Is that better?

Raptus: Yes.

Cooked Auto: Good, now do me!

Bob Smith: Fucking hell, there's no way I'm going out like that!


Cooked Auto: Dammit Bob!

Raptus: There's still one left!

Some Internet Guy: This looks like a job for the greatest flanking soldier of all time!




Waddle Dee: Not again, dammit! There's one hiding on top of the ship at the other side, it just blew up my tank. THAT THING IS EXPENSIVE, STOP KILLING IT.

Willcrouch: Still more inside!

Raptus: Everything's still all blurry, did I get it?

Cooked Auto: You did!

Forest Fuckery: Oh shit, I missed Mr. Tank Killer.

Forest Fuckery: ...balls.



GUY! The return!

Cooked Auto: Nice of you to finally get into the middle of battle, Siggy.

Some Internet Guy: Hey, that's how I lived through some of the worst battles we've ever seen, knock on alien alloy.

Some Internet Guy: So I shoot the wall, you kill anything inside. Ready? Go!

Some Internet Guy: Nice! Two kills on an autoshot!

Cooked Auto: I'm awesome I guess!

Some Internet Guy: No, it means you missed your target and got lucky. Still, I'm proud of you.


Casualties from Early Light:



Bob Smith

Soylent Cola


Forest Fuckery


Casualties from Kiryu-Kai: Sam Meatshield


Dexanth posted:

Diary of L. Takakumi, April 25th

I can't believe I'm actually back here. Otto thought I'd enjoy going 'home', so I suppose he didn't realize I consider myself American, what with living there up until college, at any rate. Though that was like, what, age 12? No, the worst part was when I was done. My parents were killed in an explosion - Daddy just didn't have my chemistry talent, and his meth lab blew - And that meant my grandparents got custody of me.

So they pull me out of school and drag me to Japan, and then inform me that I should be with people my own age.

So suddenly I'm dropped from the cutting edge of theoretical physics into pre-calculus, home economics, and gym class. I'm surrounded by mindless drones with a tenth of my brain power, who by the way see me as a freak because I don't act like them.

That was what hurt - I had to spend two years walking around feeling extremely awkward, because I didn't act like 'a proper Japanese'. It also didn't help that my accent sounded foreign, and I wasn't all that fluent so I couldn't understand what was said to me half the time for the first year.

Other girls were the worst, and there were times when they...ooh, I'm not remembering that. It hurt.

I swore I'd never come back here when I turned eighteen and high-tailed it back to Britain. The only reason I even speak to them is that, the night I left...they gave me Ms. Cuddles as a going away present. She was so cute as a kitten, and I almost forgave them for everything because of how lovely my new kitty was. A couple years later, when I graduated, they apologized - Which is amazing to me. But...they are the only family I have left, and much as I hate letting myself be coddled, well...

When I was recruited into R&D here, I wasn't able to tell them anything going on. Now that I'm back 'home' as it were, I'm finding the thing I want most right now is Obaasan's curry, and...well, silly as it is, to just let myself spend a night being pampered. It took a while to realize it, but...home there really was the only part of my childhood after age two that I was treated like a child, instead of some freak prodigy, or synthing drugs for my father to sell.

Reading back over this, it's a good deal more modest than I normally act, but then I don't really have any guard to keep up here.

Also, I wonder if Private Wren was brought along, I haven't seen him since I was shipped over, and I do miss our banter...and my other problem, well...I find myself growing more content with it as each day passes. And...we need to win this. I'm not letting my baby live in a world that's threatened by that extraterrestrial filth.

We have the weaponry now. We have the armor, and soon the soldiers will be trained in psionic warfare.

There's one thing missing - We need to know where these bastards are coming from, and then we need to get there and destroy them so utterly as to never threaten the Earth again.

I've started spending considerable time studying the UFOs. Starting tomorrow, my entire staff will be directed towards figuring out exactly how they work, and how we can use their own technology against them. Our current air force is insufficient - It's time to show the xeno scum what happens when they give us the seeds of their own destruction.

End entry


Hentaikid posted:

>>>Alien Containment supervisor to base commander:

Once again I request Private Bob "hentaikid" Roberts be restrained from visiting the alien containment facilities, his claims of "wanting to aid interplanetary relations" and "I just want to show them some animes" notwithstanding, after each and every one of his visits all the subjects are extemely disturbed and their behaviour patterns are altered radically, thus making my job far more difficult than it would otherwise be. I'm getting tired of having to coax floaters off the ceiling with a broom.

He also creeps me and my staff out, to be honest.<<<<<<<


Allen Wren posted:

Frvwwvwv Frovwwvw
From the very-turbulent desk of A. Wren, 50,000 feet in the air, live and direct from a X-COM transport plane. Still czar of the bullshit empire.

So, get this. Orders come down, apparently, I'm off to Japan. To be honest, I can't really complain or celebrate. The amount of time I spent above-ground at Early Light was neglivwvvvww
Stupid turbulence, making my pad bounce up and down. NEGLIGIBLE. I imagine a basement underneath Japan is somewhat similar to a basement underneath Italy.

I wonder why I'm getting shipped out, though. I mean, hell, I did my job. I did it well. Was it a problem with Lily? Did she get me booted? I know I'm usually somewhat-less-than-100%-professional, but I doubt I insulted her badly enough that I'd be put out to pasture. Was it just to get the pranks to calm down? Hell if I know.

I really should look on the bright side, though. Sure, the custodial arts are a really lousy way to make a living. I crawl into "my" bunk still damp from hauling mop buckets. I shower as much as I can, more than these grunts probably get to---hooray for temp agency contracts. No way in hell is a woman going to look at me as a hero. "What did you do in the secret alien war?" "I mopped up alien innavwvwvwvw

Bah, fuck it. Like I said, bright side. I may be a janitor, but I am now officially the coolest janitor ever. I'm on a super-secret base to stop fucking aliens from ruining our shit. I'm flying from one super-secret base to Japan. The sun is shining outside the window, and there's clouds and ocean down there. I'm alive (for now) and breathing (for now.) I think I'll catch a bit of shut-eye, close out this chapter of my chronicle of this utter bullshit war.