code:

Otto Zander, Ryo, Andrew Jackson, Tasian, JonLikesPie, Dirdum, Wild M, Africanus, Angry Vegemite, Doc Martin, Tarquinn, Allen Wren, Lord Fancington Bovines, Valiant Valium, Lily Takakumi, Sir Spandy, Master Ninja, Ms. Cuddles and various base personnel involved.

Africanus, Bovines, Allen Wren, Otto Zander, Lily Takakumi, Doc Martin, Lord Fancington and Ms. Cuddles escaped.

TTBF posted:

Dear Lord Fancington,

After we made our bet, you shot down only one alien craft, leaving Affi and I to clean up all the ones that you let get away. Most of these craft seem to have originated from an alien base, not too far from Kiryu-Kai. You were then unable to intercept the craft that found and invaded Kiru-Kai.

What I'm trying to say is this: Suck it. Suck it long, suck it hard. You lost, and you lost in a spectacular way. While I'm sure you're an excellent pilot in Microsoft Flight Simulator, you turn out to be pretty bad at it in reality. If you're alive, I hope you have already resigned yourself to a life as nothing more than a mechanic. The only times you'll be able to touch an X-Com craft is when you're painting on an additional killmark onto the side of my Interceptor.

Maybe, if you're really lucky, you can beg Ulysses into letting you fly in a Skyranger. I hear he can always use a few more grunts to clean up the UFOs after Affi and I shoot them down.

Dexanth posted:

Pre-Flight Recording, L. Takakumi. 8:14 AM
Oh, this helmet is growing so tiresome, I want some air already. (Hissing noise recorded) This is so much better! Let me just set this down and...Ms. Cuddles! Come uppies and nuzzle me, thatsa good kiki! Yes, you is so very snuggly, yes you are!

Pre-Flight Recording Ends, Helmet Cam image recorded following image at 8:15 AM


In-Flight Recording, L. Takakumi, 11:32 AM

So I told everyone to go take a nap, because, after all, I think they just might be a teensy weensy bit stressed out after all that bug and lizard squishing we had to do.

: Meow!

Yes Ms. Cuddles, you can nap too if you want.

: *Purr*

But don't sleep too deeply, remember, you are copilot and I've told you how to take over in case of an emergency, or when I need to use the bathroom! It's so very nice to finally be out of the power suit - Though I can't wait to take a shower.

Anyways, since Ms. Cuddles doesn't seems happy to doze in the copilot's chair, what is there to say?

All my new toys worked perfectly, and I have to admit, it was so very exciting actually being able to melt the alien scum myself! I mean after I got over my initial nervousness and all of that, but I could see that Allen, the poor dear, was simply too stressed and so I'd have to protect him. And Ms. Cuddles too, of course, she just doesn't seem to get that she wants to bite them while they are still standing, not once they go down. The silly kitty seemed quite happy playing in a puddle of snakeman...ichor, and it must not be toxic since she was clean five minutes later once we actually got to my new ship!

I have so very many ideas for this toy! Let's see...I'll need to tinker with everything a bit, of course, to see how some things work, but then the boys in engineering are going to superplate the armor, install plasma weaponry linked to the power core, and of course, more power for the engines! Much, much more! Though it'll burn fuel far faster, but that's acceptable since it'll be delightful at taking down nearly anything short of a battleship. Useless for landing operations, simply not enough range, but pah, once it's shown down it stays down!

Still, this was all so very stressful, but I did manage to pluck my grandparents out safely - Let's just say they were surprised to see my clopping out in my armor, but I wasn't taking any chances. Thankfully, because of how far out they lived, none of the bioweapons had bothered attacking. We're headed back to Italy now, and -

Oh, god DAMNIT! That means I have to go see that fucking bastard Markus a second time. I am not letting that hack order me around again, if he tries he'll see what happens when my heavy laser meets little Markus for some intimate melting.

And so many papers got lost in my lab when I nuked it. Ah well, most of the important stuff is on the data unit here, though it meant I didn't record a few things in the alien base, but hey, we have most of it. I can figure the rest out easily enough I am sure, and after all, my automatic kitty feeder and nutrition meter is of vital importance to the war effort. Or at least to my personal happiness, but the two go hand in hand, isn't that right Ms. Cuddles?


: Myuuuu!

Oh, good, that was a short nap! Come here, let me just set you down on the controls, you can fly for an hour or two, ok? Mommy wants to take a little nap herself and you're the only other qualified pilot!

(Recording contains silence for approximately five minutes, then a sudden klaxon, and loud shuddering)

Eeee, ah, wh, what?! Oh, oh my, ah...Ms. Cuddles, why aren't you still piloting! We're headed straight for the ocean! No no no, ah, there we go, uhm...No, no everyone, there was nothing wrong! We just hit a bad patch of turbulence is all, just go back to sleep!

(Whispered) Ms. Cuddles, we're having a talk when we get home about personal responsibility and how certain kitties aren't taking up their fair share!

Myu..
Recording Ends

Old Man Fancington posted:

An excerpt from the power armor recording device

Colonel, it's fine if you're taking a break, but must your feline friend fly? What do you mean it's the only other qualified pilot? I'm not paid just to warm the ready-room couch like some Early Light ruffian.

Speaking of which, TTBF will surely have a field day about winning our gentleman's game on a technicality. Oh, my poor interceptor, destroyed on the ground!. But hey, Colonel, this toy is going to need a pilot, and while your cat can manage simple transport, X-Com has only one man with the daring - and the audacity - to dogfight in this godforsaken heap of junk...

TTBF better clear out his bunk, because there's a new constable in town.