The Let's Play Archive

X-COM: UFO Defense

by GuavaMoment

Part 53: The Briefing

Chapter 53 - The Briefing

Dr. Reis Markus: I want to start by thanking everyone for being here. Special welcome to the Area 51 transfers who have yet to see Early Light. Everyone say hello to Nemo2342, Frenchie, and OrangeSoda. And let us not forget Bovines the tank operator. Since the four of you have not received any psionic implants and can't hear Allen's thoughts, so please refer to the documents we provided to you and follow along as best you can.

Allen : Our research and efforts up to this point have allowed us the opportunity to attack and destroy the Hive Ship before as it arrives on Earth. We have determined that once in orbit, the High One will attempt to psionically control the entire world's population and enslave your species. While I know that I am helping you to destroy much of my own species, I have come to appreciate human culture and its values. I do not want to be a participant in your destruction, no matter the cost.

Dr. Reis Markus: The first part of our plan involves the use of our recently adapted Blaster Launcher for more large scale use.

Dr. Reis Markus: The Fusion Ball Torpedo is slightly too large for use on our craft. The Firestorm and Interceptor class ships can only carry four. This is unfortunate, as the destructive power of the Fusion ball is immense, and has the benefit of being more localized than a nuclear strike.

Jetsetlemming: So we're going to blast the Hive Ship then!

Allen : No. The Hive Ship contains countermeasures against ballistic and energy weapons.

Dr. Reis Markus: The Fusion Ball led to other projects that will help us.

Dr. Reis Markus: As a ground base defense, the Fusion Defense is impenetrable. Far more effective that the Plasma Defense, and combined with the repulsive force of the Grav Shield, Early Light is now completely protected from enemy UFO attack. The location of this base will not remain a secret indefinitely. Now we have a permanent and long-term protection against any air threat.

Allen : None of these weapons will provide any good on the battlefield however. Analysis of Coolswa and Nemo's use of the Blaster Launcher revealed a small problem. Manual reloading of the weapon is not time effective. So we have constructed an automated Blaster weapon that can fire twice as fast as a soldier can.

Dr. Reis Markus: The Hovertank launcher, as you can see beside me is-

Waddle Dee: MINE! Dibs!

Bovines: Oh not this shit again, you can't!

Waddle Dee: Oh I'm sorry, who's LOST every hovertank recently from Area 51?

Bovines: We're the fucking backup squad, doing things the hard way, we don't have the fancy-pants psionic-

Waddle Dee: Oh don't have a cow.

Bovines: You want to do this again? I remember giving you a- *BZZZZZZZT*


Waddle Dee: Any tank pilots still conscious object to me using the Launchertank? No?

Otto Zander: Dee, put that away, take Bovines to the Med bay. Get out of here.

Dr. Reis Markus: Right. Well anyway, our point is that the Hovertank/Launcher gives us a lot more firepower to use in an assault.

Allen : As you have noticed, the Firestorm and Lightning vessels mimic UFO technology. We have determined that if the Hive Ship is distracted by a Fusion Ball missile attack, we have an opportunity to have our ships dock on it. Hopefully at least one of our ships will be identified as a friendly and not be destroyed.

Dr. Reis Markus: We have a partial layout of the Hive Ship, as you can see behind me. The path from the docking bays to the central area is shown.

Dr. Reis Markus: Once docked, you are to proceed through the ship, locate and destroy both the control center and the High One.

Cooked Auto: Question - If this High One can psionically control the entire world, what's stopping us from being controlled by it?

Allen : The High One does not think the way you and I do, it deals with collections of minds. A small group of individuals should go unnoticed by it.

Dr. Reis Markus: And if you ARE detected, we


Dr. Lily Takakumi: And this one?

Jimmy Tango: Wavy lines.

Dr. Lily Takakumi: Next?

Jimmy Tango: Square? We've been doing this for so long, I'm tired. Can we cut it short?

Dr. Lily Takakumi: Well...there are five cards in the test. We've gone over a couple hundred trials. People like Zander and Cooked Auto can scan my mind and get 99% of these right. By pure guessing, a person would get 20% correct.

Jimmy Tango: So how'm I doing?

Dr. Lily Takakumi: Zero. You have correctly chosen, zero.

Jimmy Tango: Ha! Guess I'm unlucky!

Dr. Lily Takakumi: No, we're far beyond simply unlucky. You are very unique.

Jimmy Tango: Maybe I'm just not good at this card test. Can we try the mental projection test aga-

Dr. Lily Takakumi: NO. I'd like to pretend that never happened.

Jimmy Tango: Oh right. Sorry about that. You know I can't help myself. I didn't mean to project any of that. I mean you're cute, and leathers and whips are a common fant-

Dr. Lily Takakumi: NO! We're done! You're missing the briefing for the Hive Ship assault anyway.

Jimmy Tango: Oh really? So I can go on that mission?! I've passed the psionic trials?

Dr. Lily Takakumi: YES! FINE! WHATEVER! Now get out of here!


Dr. Reis Markus: So if there are no other questions, we launch in three days.

Thanks SynthOrange!


Dexanth posted:

Research Notes, L. Takakumi

God DAMNIT I did not want to see that.

Though...perverted as he may be, I have to admit I did look good. I wonder where I can find lipstick in that shade of rouge...ooh, and to get dear Cuddles one of those fierce spikey collars, she'd love that.

Off topic, off topic. I am not letting him get to me.

The Adauchi is complete, as far as I can tell, and yet for some reason it will not work. Everything seems fine in tests, yet when I try to do the full startup sequence it merely hangs and then fails to properly, well, work.

I've combed over my design notes and best I can tell there are no flaws whatsoever.

I hate to say it, but I'm stymied. My theory is perfect, and Allen - before his demise - was a capable assistant. He did fail to properly tighten the occasional bolt or fuse some circuits properly, but I was always there to fix things.

This is driving me crazy! I have to figure out what's wrong!

Also disturbing is Markus is acting...odd again, lately. Or rather, un-odd; things seem to be on task for our final assault, and yet I must confess my disturbance. It's the prime reason I want the Adauchi up and running now. I have to disagree about his comment on defense - If one can enslave entire planets, then point-blank countermeasures to prevent boarding seem unlikely.

I call it the 'Death Star' hypothesis - There's not much time left, I have to get this running.

DAMN YOU ALLEN! Why did you have to get blown up on me?! You were the only one I could trust - Torlon hasn't shown again since Cuddles let him go swimming, and even if he had, he's dead to me now with his traitorous attempt at communication...

I hate to say, but I'll have to see if I can find a new capable assistant. I simply can't do everything these days, what with moving about growing increasingly burdensome.

I finally let med look at me, and they tell me I'm so heavy because there's two. Twins.

When this is all over, I have to admit my ludicrous monthly paycheck will help in getting resettled. Cuddles has been acting strange of late as well when we go out, and she seems to be with a grey tabby quite often - I've taken to calling him Mr. Cuddles, since he seems quite friendly round me as well, and quite hygenic. I'll ask Luigi if he knows anything about this new kitty.

End Notes

Torlon posted:

Audio Playback Beginning

Man my life here sucks after I... you know, after getting stranded at sea and when i finally make it back the first thing I do is update my journal does sound rather pathetic. Well fuck it I've started recording might as well finish. So yeah I take it Ms. Cuddles doesn't like my singing and so she shook me off in the ocean. Luckily there was an island nearby that I was able to swim to.

Luckily for me I was picked up by pirates and... well long story short a lot of drinking, treasure hunting, and ninja fighting later I was able to barter my way back to civilization with booze and porn. They were nice guys, they even let me keep a bag of swag and a sword, I'll have to invite them to the Thursday night poker game.

*Yawn* Well I guess I should just take this as a sign that I should leave well enough alone right now and just relax. I mean worst case we lose the war and everyone is killed or enslaved but hey shit happens.

Welp time to see what mystery goo they are serving in the chow hall, I hope it's the orange stuff that tastes like catfish. This is Trainee Torlon signing off

Audio Playback Completed