The Let's Play Archive

X-COM: UFO Defense

by GuavaMoment

Part 8: Pander18 Will Not Fucking Die

: I had no idea how cramped the Skyranger was until I was in it heading to a mission.. The trip only took an hour or so, but every moment was torture. The taste of fear and sweat was thick in there. Morale was a bit up since our rifles had all been replaced by laser pistols recently, and Concordat reported that the alien ship had suffered extensive damage from his missiles before heading down. We were hoping that most of the aliens inside had died in the crash.


UFO 4, Jan 17, France

Waddle Dee operating the tank

Otto Zander, Sugary, Eddy-Baby, OhsH, Anticheese, Terashell, Pander18, Blackray, Katsuma, Dr. Magnificent attending

: We headed through the alien damping field and touched down. The ramp fell with a thud and Waddle Dee headed down. Already I could hear him saying he'd spotted one.

Waddle Dee: It's hiding in the trees in front of us, I'll try and destroy its cover.

Waddle Dee: All good, everyone can come down now.

: This is where it hit me. I was really here. If I wasn't careful, I could end up just like my brother. I calmed myself down, and tried to remember my training, for all the good it would do me.

Waddle Dee: I'm under fire from both sides here!

: I looked down at my PDA map, and it did not look good. Two Sectoids were pinning the tank down, and there was no cover between us and them.

Anticheese: I'm flanking the northeast one, everyone else, try and find some cover and take a shot at the other. Go!

: This was it! My chance to prove I belonged here. My chance to prove I was a real soldier. I took careful aim at the Sectoid that Anticheese ordered me to shoot.

: I missed.

: I missed badly. I nearly killed Pander18, who was taking cover beh-

: I'm sorry, who did you nearly kill?

: Pander18…

: According to you, he died on the previous mission.

: I think I'd remember something like that! Last mission was UFO 3, and Bims, Burace and Peepers died there.

: No, Mr. Peepers was promoted to Sergeant. He didn't die unti-

: Wait, who was Pander18 again? Whatever, I almost shot one of our own guys. I realized I needed to be more careful, more logical with what I was doing. We were all trying to kill this Sectoid, and I could hardly believe who actually hit it.

: Eddy-Baby nailed it. He was carrying that huge heavy rocket launcher, and had barely left the Skyranger, and he just nailed it dead on. I guess he was feeling bad about the soldiers he accidentally killed, and had been practicing his aim.

Sugary: Ah! Fuck me, bastard winged my arm!

Terashell: Motherfucker... Can't we go one goddamn mission without some grey-skinned cock jockey wrecking our shit?

Sugary: It only grazed me, I'll be fine.

Anticheese: Dammit! That thing's been alive far too long.

: Again I could barely believe it:

: Maybe he had been making unofficial modifications to his rocket launcher, or maybe he was promoted for being that damn good. Point is, Anticheese killed two in one shot from a respectable distance.

Anticheese: That should do it. Move towards the ship! Sugary, you peachy?

Sugary: Chick dig scars, I'm peachy.

Dr. Magnificent: I've made it to the UFO. Smoke is coming out from all around it, I guess it'll be a mess inside.

OhsH: If anything inside is wounded, it'll be a good time to stun it. The brass said capture is the number one priority, right? Imagine the glory of being the first to capture a live alien! You'd be a hero!

Blackray: PAY ATTENTION! Heroes get killed. This Sectoid almost snuck up on you.

Katsuma: We ready to breach yet?

Waddle Dee: I'd say go for it. I'm getting a visual here, and it looks like a huge chunk of the ship is simply gone. I can't believe any of them survived this crash landing.

OhsH: Oh Sh-

Katsuma: -it!

: Instead of having to debate about who was going in first, the goddamn alien came out at us. Giant black-eyed bastard took two shots and killed two people right in front of me. Not thinking I charged at it with my stun rod, as it trained its sights on me.

: I owe my life to Doc Magnificent. He was the first. I lost count of how many people ended up saving my life in the war.

Dr. Magnificent: Follow me Zander, let's see what's in here.

Otto Zander: There's too much smoke, I can't see anything!

Pander18: Hurry man, get inside!

Otto Zander: PANDER!

Blackray: If there's one left alive, we should surround and stun it. Excuse me, OhsH.

: This was the shot that killed Doc Magnificent. He saved my life and died a few seconds later. It's hard to deal with shit like that.

Blackray: I see the guy, it's shaking! I think it's afraid of us!

Blackray: Zander, cover the other side, we rush it together.

Otto Zander: You ready? Go!

Pander18: BLAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……

Otto Zander: You did it! You captured an alien alive!

Blackray: I'm pretty sure it's still alive. Too bad about Pander.

Otto Zander: That sound he made as he died - that's going to haunt me.

: And that's when Pander18 died?

: Yup.

: You sure he didn't spend the next two weeks in the medical bay recovering from his wound?

: Yup. Sugary was the one recovering, it only took him two days to get back in action.

: Wrong. This is exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for. There's a clear problem with your memory Zander. This might be a symptom of your previous exposure to psionic fields.

: Look, I know they called it "Zander's Syndrome" but I was cleared a long time ago. It only happened that one time.

: But we're here looking for long-term damage. And we may have found it.



Pander18 for the second time sort of, OhSh, Katsuma, Dr. Magnificent

Injured Reserve: Pander18, Sugary

Reactivated: Mr. Peepers

totally didn't switch Mr. Peepers and Pander18 before this update by mistake. Totally didn't somehow glitch the game by finishing the mission on the same turn Pander "died" from his wounds.


OhsH posted:

Dear Diary:

Holy shit I am dead.

Lovingly yours.
OhsH - KIA.


Dexanth posted:

Diary of L. Takakumi, 1/18/99, Entry 6
Yesterday was a delightful day! Mrs. Cuddles and I played quite the delightful game of chase the feather, and I made a significant breakthrough in being able to amplify and refocus the laser weaponry we've been developing! It will require a larger weapon, but should be far more accurate and considerably more damaging than those pistols we've created.

But best of all, that annoying anime child is gone! I didn't even have to use my plan to   XXXX XXX X XXXXXX XXXXXXX, XXX XXX XXX XXXX XXXXXXX XX XXXX XX! 

I know, it's terrible of me, and yet I can't help but feel satisfied - Every time someone said his name, I simply cringed. I suppose it's regrettable he had to die to alleviate my suffering, but with us losing soldiers left and right, someone had to go, and it might as well be someone I didn't like!