Part 26: Alien Base Assault WITH MY MIND!Xcom Part 26: Alien Base Assault IN MY MIND!
Ready to fire, maam!
Laser Delta Shard Attack! GO!
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah! Stop destroying alien resources! Youll never amount to anything at this rate!
Why is Vahlen scolding me like my mom? What the FUCK is happening?!
Cam! Man, I thought Id never see you again. How do you like my jetpack? Wheeee!
Oh, God, I know what this is. This is my other worst nightmare. No matter what I do, Allen will always be way cooler than me
What? Thats not it at all.
This is a mental battlefield. Thats why it looks like Earth being invaded by aliens. Its half your mind, half the Sectoid Commanders.
Then what the hell are you doing in here? Youre dead!
The Sectoid mental network was sucking out information from my head ever since they hypnotized me. Thoughts, memories, personality traits; they copied all of it. I remember everything right up until I died. I guess Im like a mental clone of the real Allen
Like Harvey from
Like Harvey from Farscape!
Youre definitely the real Allen. Oh, my God Allen I we all missed you so much!
No time for weepy reunions! Octopi! Blast em, girls!
FUCK I hate those things!
Then youll love this.
Oh my God its an alien Bar-Lev.
How are you liking the mental battlefield, Cam? Theres more where that came from.
BASTARD! Cam, if we can kill him I think we can get you out of here!
Will that work? I dont know whats real!
Well, its worth a shot! Magical robots, GO!
Jesus that thing has giant plasma cannons for hands!
Yeah, which begs the question, how the hell does it pick things up?
Hah! Youll never be anything but a pathetic freeloader, Cam. This wont kill me.
God damn it, youre fucking naked, why do laser cannons only lightly toast you?
You will is weak, Carol Allen. It always was. Itll take more than your imaginary friends to harm me or my mental avatars.
Wait a minute
This is all in my head, right? If I concentrate, really hard, maybe I can try to destroy the illusions
Hahahahaha! Is that the best you can do, Cam? Bar-Lev, make them feel pain.
Of course. Because unlike Cam, Im a real badass.
Youre nothing, Cam. An idiot getting by on luck and a lot of inherited genes from much better warriors than yourself. If you hadnt made the switch, youd still be a rookie or dead.
You will is mine, Cameron Watkins! Your body, and even your mental avatar, belong to me!
N NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!! GET OUT!
Holy shit! I couldnt do that!
And fuck you too, Fake Bar-Lev! The real Naomi is grumpy and awesome but she never rubs our faces in it. Deep down, she loves us all!
Grraarr! No! Youre pathetic! Youll never amount to anything! I I
Holy shit, Cam. That was great.
Were still not out of here
I guess we need to kill more mental demons first So, do you really think youre inadequate?
Allen you were a better soldier than me, and then we switched, and the very next mission out, you died. How do you think I feel about that?
BACK AT THE BASE
Cam? Cam, respond!
Cams still not responding
Well, crazy or not shes blowing away any aliens that get close but she might not be able to tell friend from foe, so we shouldnt get close either. Just follow the trail of alien bodies.
Youre doing fine, Evie. Just breathe deeply and let us do most of the work. Remember, we love you. We all love you.
Its in my head I remember everyone who ever hated me for anything it hurt so much, like I was dying
Where the hell is Princess?
Right behind you. And its not princess anymore! Its QUEEN!
HOLY SHIT! Dont do that! You were right behind me the whole time!?
No. The alien got inside my head too. I spent about five mental centuries fighting an army of spiders. But then I turned invisible and it lost control of me. For whatever reason, this thing cant attack me mentally when it loses sight of me. It must be watching all of us on alien security cameras or something.
whoah. Are you are you okay?
Ive been better, but Im not new to this. There was this one time my dad and I fought an evil Venezuelan hypnotist anyway.
Mmm huh? MIMI! Youre hurt! I need to patch you up, now!
It it let go of me. Like it was trying to focus on someone else.
I got another drone spying on us in the distance, anyone got it?
Whats in these pods? It looks like ground-up meat mixed with milk and blood. oh, UGH. My sensors say its human meat. Theyre turning people into meat smoothies!
Oh, God. Maybe thats what the giant meat tubes in the distance are for. Theyre melting people down to create a giant robot skeleton!
Yuck! Lets just just keep pushing forwards maybe we can try to give the pods back to the countries that owned them later
I count at least six kills we arent responsible for oh, theres Cam. lets be careful
BACK IN THE BATTLE OF THE MIND
Aww, its not your fault I died. Actually, Im pretty sure its mine. Wasnt the last thing I said TESTOSTERONEEEEE!!! ?
Haha. Figures. One week with a dick and I was already letting it make my decisions for me. And no, that wasnt your fault either.
So, uh whats with the jetpack? And the robots?
I watched a lot of anime as a kid and always wanted to be the star of one! In my own mind I can be my true inner hero!
Somethings coming! It sounds like football players?
Oh, hey, boys! Look what decided to show up to the prom! I thought we told you what would happen if you came, Watkins.
oh my god. Mutons with the personalities of my high school bullies.
This will be the greatest mental battle ever.
CAROL SUPER SHOT!
fuck! Even my idealized dream self sucks!
NO! Gorgeous Betty!
Ha ha! Your droids suck, turbo nerd. What did you imagine them out of, aluminum foil?
Pretty Shelly, VENGEANCE SHOT!
Disproportionate Retribution Mode Enabled, maam!
RARGH! Ill kill you for that!
Hes coming right for us!
Roger Green, you were a racist piece of shit in high school. Youre not strong. SHIV, blow him away!
Lets see if I can use the power of imagination to destroy another one MUTON BILLY UPTON! If X is 5 and Y is 9, how many X are needed to equal four Y?
ARGH I HATE MATH! It makes my head explode! GAaauuuggh!
This is for Gorgeous Betty! ahhh, SHIT why cant I hit anything?!
I dunno hey, you, other SHIV!
Im Rolly Paulina!
Rolly Paulina! Get around that cover and avenge your sister!
Muton Ramon Grayson man, I dont even hate you anymore. You were just kind of a wimp deep down, and you wanted to be loved, but you lashed out at me to look tough for your shitty friends.
So youre going to forgive me?
Well, Ill forgive the REAL Ramon Grayson. You, though, can go right to hell. Rolly Paulina, Super Fantasy Revenge Cannon Blast!
Whew this is more fun than I thought it would be.
So, I guess you must like the new DNA if you never swapped back.
Yeah, well, its definitely an improvement, performance-wise. Id have to reinstall all my gene mods if I got my old body back, which would waste more meld than necessary. Id be giving up more than Id be getting back.
Including your lesbian girlfriend?
Including my HEY! She's bi!
Ha ha ha ha ha! I told you!
Well, Im waiting until the wars over. I dont want to roll the dice on getting my old body back just yet. For all I know Ill get turbo cancer or just look funky, like when you get a character looking good in a character editor in a game, and then mess with it some more and suddenly it looks like ass and you never get the good-looking one back.
Good point. ah, hell, MORE ALIENS!
BACK AT THE BASE
More drones! These guys arent so tough, though.
All the meat tubes in this place seem to be converging anyway, open fire!
Missed mine well get it later.
This looks like some kind of command center! The thing getting inside your heads must be in there somewhere!
Cam I know youre still out of it but, uh, what are you looking at?
What? Aliens have videogames too?
I guess. Hows everyone else doing?
Not good, my skins still crawling from what it made me see
I feel hundreds of years older than I actually am, but otherwise, alright.
I Im fine! gonna need a lot more hugs when this is over, though
There! The alien commander is there, by that strange pylon!
Gonna have to wait, we have CHRYSALIDS! AAAH!
Within The Mental Battlefield
Eat my dream plasma cannon, alien motherfuckers! YAAAAAH!
Phew thats all of em for now. God these nightmare-floaters are way nastier than the real things.
Lets catch our breath before we push on.
Say, Carol are we whats our endgame, here?
You destroy the last of the Sectoid Commanders mind, free yourself from the illusion world and wake up, while he goes braindead. If you fail, youll be like me, stuck in HIS head forever.
But I mean, like is there a way for you to, I dont know, hide in my subconscious so I can get you out of here too?
dunno. Might make your brain explode if we try. And youd go crazy even if it worked. Who wants to have ME nattering on in their ear for life?
But that means
HERE WE ARE! The bridge of the UFO. Hes hiding inside there, the real one this time. Open the door!
Right. On three. One, two
HAhahahahaahahahahAHAHAHAHAHA! Which ones real, Cam?
Which ones real? Doesnt matter! You ALL DIE!
This is for all my deceased imaginary robo-sisters!
YES! Finally! I finally got something!
Of course you did. Those were all the decoys.
Carol, youre pointing the gun the wrong way!
Dont you see, Cam? Allen isnt as independent as she pretends. She may rebel, but shes a part of my mind. I was using her to pump you for more information.
And killing me means killing her. I know you cant face that a second time. You never wanted to let go of Allen, thats why you couldnt even let go of her DNA.
Cam listen to me. Thats not my face youre wearing. Its yours. I was born looking like this, not like that. Youve had that DNA a lot longer than me, and youve done a lot more cool things with it than I ever did. Youve owned it. You got promoted all the way up to Colonel by being cool-headed and strong, not because of the genes youve inherited. Now shoot this motherfucker.
Allen, youll die if I kill the Sectoid Commander!
Heh. At least this time Ill die for a good cause.
My stash is behind the second locker on the left. And hey, if you ever settle down with Princess, just name one of your kids after me. If its a girl, name her Allen. And if its a boy, name him Carol!
heh. Okay, buddy. Thanks for everything.
It was amazing. Thank YOU.
*sniff* Goodbye, Allen.
Last bug down! Wheres Cam?
*sniff* Goodbye, Allen.
Cam, you did it! You killed the alien commander!
How the hell did you manage to kill the commander when it was fucking with all our heads?
Well I had help.
Cam are you crying?
Ill heh Ill tell you later. *weak smile*
TO BE CONTINUED!