Part 38: EARTH-FILTH!!!Part 38: EARTH-FILTH!!!
Never thought Id see you in here.
Sometimes even a cyborg psychologist needs a drink. *sip*
Long ago, when we first met, the Thin Man claimed to be holding a hostage dear to you.
mmm. And he was lying. See, my town was abducted while I was out. One of the first. My brother was there. We didnt find him when we raided the Alien Base, so hes been dead for a while.
Im not good at comforting people.
Its fine. Ive mourned enough. Thats why I volunteered to become more than human.
Why do I have to watch these training videos? These things look fifty years old!
Cover, flanking, keep your head down, ugghh! I know all this, I just want to kill more aliens!
Sorry, procedure. And youre irreplaceable, which means I dont want you to get your head blown off, which means we go through all the boring basics.
Cant you just install regeneration mods in me like Watkins?
Cams not indestructible. And Ill have you know that fifty years ago there was another agent who had alien regeneration powers, and even he needed to know how to keep his head down.
(Boy, that takes me back )
Well start taking volunteers for PSI testing soon. It will be rather uncomfortable, Im sad to say; youll be locked in a tiny human-sized chamber as your entire nervous system is probed and enkindled to generate the effects weve seen coming from the sectoids. For about ten days straight.
Oh, GOD! No, Ive had enough of that! Let someone else get the needles stuck in their brain! You already know Im psychic.
*sigh* Fine. Ill do it. Might as well, right? My bodys an insane cocktail of spliced DNA, may as well mess with the only part of me that hasnt been mutated!
Not every person will be capable of supporting the psionic effects. Perhaps one in ten. Well want to get everyone tested eventually.
Cam, youre our most valuable soldier. You are too expensive for us to allow you to die. So were giving you that secondary heart upgrade. Unless you completely run out of blood, youll be able to recover from almost anything.
Wow. Heh. Thats flattering.
And since Latisha seems like shes determined to keep putting herself at risk, were giving her regeneration genes.
WOO! Heh, heh, keeping indestructibility in the family.
Can I get some bioelectric skin while were at it? We all hate seekers and we need someone besides Leroy who can detect em.
good idea! Approved.
Now, to move onto studying the properties of this strange Elerium material we may find better uses for it we havent thought of yet.
With the new Satellite Nexus finished, we should have enough processing power to cover at least five more major countries. That will be enough to lock down all but one continent in the future.
And then well just have to worry about shooting down UFOs instead of responding to abductions
Commander, weve got a strange request from Japan. They want Muton corpses.
I already sold a bunch to the Grey Market! Damn it.
Then we just need to make more corpses next mission.
More tougher types of aliens could still appear. Im ordering that the Arc Throwers get upgraded immediately. Meanwhile, Vahlen, could you figure out how the hell their UFOs actually fly? If we could make our own
Ooh, good idea!
If she manages to figure out the basic propulsion, I could easily adapt a SHIV to fly as well.
Labs done! Whos our first volunteer?
*sigh* Lets do this.
Ill go too. We have enough other soldiers to cover for me out there.
Dont go crazy in there, okay, Cam? *hug*
Yeah. Same to you, Monique.
Now, son, I need you to understand one thing since you have the ability to see through invisibility. You better not let a single tentacle touch Hilda, you hear?
Dad, seriously, Ill be fine.
Superpowers make family conversations so weird
More abductions! Shit. Lets send out our troops. Mostly our B-Team, plus Queen to keep everyone safe from a distance, and Annette, to get her trained up.
Im wearing additional armor plating made from Chrysalid chitin! Haha. No more getting sent to the damn hospital for ME!
Mrs. Watkins, may I ask you something while were all waiting?
What is it?
Well, um *whisper whisper*
Oh! Oh. Ohhhh. Heh. Yeah. Sure. Go for it, girl.
What was that all about?
Youre a psychic, you tell me.
Focus! Were here! Keep an eye out for aliens!
Right! Time to put on my war face! GRRRRRRRRR!
(oh, god )
Why do the aliens like abducting from highways?
Highways are full of people, plus it jams up traffic in both directions for miles. That makes it hard for authorities to respond unless they have a helicopter or a VTOL, like us. Now, you guys scout ahead, Ill snipe anything you see.
CYBERDISC WITH DRONES!
I hate those things! Queen, hit it with your disabling bullet so it doesnt burn our asses off!
Here they come!
Right, EMP Dart away!
SHIT! Dont shoot so close to me!
One drone down!
Even with Vital-Point Targeting this damn thing is taking too many hits.
*huff huff* Still not there yet take out the other drone!
Oh, Ill do it. Ill do it!
Yeah! Combat high, GO!
The disc is retreating. Push up!
Ill activate the translator program.
ALL WHO DARE OPPOSE US HAVE BECOME PART OF OUR ARMY. YOU SHALL BECOME OUR SHOES! WE WILL LICK THE BLOOD OF YOUR FALLEN OFF OUR BOOTS AND MAKE TROPHIES OF YOUR BROKEN, BURNED ARMOR! YOUR DESCENDANTS *beep!*
On second thought, I think weve heard enough of that.
Actions speak louder than words, anyway.
Ha, they felt that!
Ive got eyes on the disc. Whew, thisll be the longest shot Ive ever made but Ive got it.
Exhale and squeeze
Flashbanging the other two! They wont be able to hit shit, finish them off!
Here goes! DIE YOU PIGS! THIS IS FOR MY MOTHER!
NOBODY KILL THAT THING UNTIL I DO!
Mechtoid and Sectoid escort incoming. Ive got HEAT ammo, but that wont be enough on its own.
Annette, if youre going to do something, do it fast!
The other Mutons got me pinned down!
Not anymore it doesnt. Rhino, distract the Mectoids overwatch fire. Get in close and blast it along with whatever Zhang can help you with!
I hate these goddamn things!
GOT IT! Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Well, now youre exposed, you idiot!
Here, thisll keep you from getting your face blown off.
Alicia, are you okay?!
Rrr. RAH! Vahlen, shut off my pain inhibitors!
What? This is madness!
AAAAH! There. Now I can feel the combat high pheromones from Rhino.
Rhino, sprint past it and blast the sectoid giving it a shield. Then Ill punch this goddamn cyborgs fucking face in! RRRAAAH!
Ha. Back when I was old I would have said this is the stupidest plan ever, buuuttt
Shields down, go for it!
*punch!* *punch!* *punch!* You came to Earth, NOW EAT THE EARTH! EAT IT! EAT IT!
RAAAG! Haaah haaahh Perfect.
Dr. Gomez I, uh let me patch you up
Haaah Yesss You see, Annette, youre not the only one out for revenge here. But you need to control when and where you lose your temper. Focus your fury into a single point and release it. Now, Dr. Vahlen, please turn my pain inhibitors back on.
Aaaaahhhhhh better than vicodin.
Guys, I can see seekers up ahead, but theyll vanish once I get close!
No problemo, Ive got bioelectric skin now. They wont be able to hide from us.
Ill get em!
So, you squirmy bastards like crushing my kid, huh? Well, whos laughing now?
One more, look for it!
All done! And we all learned a valuable lesson today!
Bioelectric Skin is awesome!
I thought it was about controlling anger
I thought the lesson was that sometimes the best plan is the stupidest one.
I was more going for empathy gives us solidarity
I learned that having psychic powers doesnt mean you can actually hit anything.
I learned youre all a bunch of fools, but I like you, anyway.
And so the month of June has concluded. The XCOM Projects funding shall increase.
I hope Cam and Monique are dreaming good dreams. Itll be another week before theyre out of that tester thing
To Be Continued!