Part 42: Chopper Joe strikes!

Part 42: Chopper Joe Strikes!



Monique wants something, but she’s not telling me what. It’s annoying me, but I don’t want to confront her over it.
Relationships need a lot of manual maintenance, sometimes. Just like our new bodies.



Sonofa BITCH! I was positive I’d test positive. Dammit.
Sorry. If it’s any consolation, you’re a hell of a soldier and totally irreplaceable. Especially thanks to your invisibility superpowers.
Hah. Yeah. I was thinking… we have meld to spare, and Cam needs all the support we can give. If we both had invisibility we could go on spying missions together.
Whoah. Yeah, but invisible skin requires a lot of meld. Are you sure?
What the hell. Why not? Should be good for setting up flanking shots. Now… let’s check out the new guys.



Someone called the three rescued psychics “the Furies.” I forget who actually is in charge of naming missions but it stuck. The first one, here, is Matt Hawkins.
This place is huge! I didn’t know the US had any base this big.
By treaty, XCOM is international territory, not a US base. How’d the aliens know you were psychic?
Pfft, they hadda know! I’m the only success the US Government had to create a psychic soldier! Though, admittedly, the combat applications were not what we expected.
Elaborate.
I can make people fart with my mind. Which was more useful than you’d think on one stealth mission…
Ugh. Well, until we unlock your brain powers in our chamber we’d better just stick to bullets.





The next two are brother and sister?
Yeah, though we haven’t determined if the psychic latency is a coincidence, or genetic or environmental.
So, what are your psychic powers, or lack thereof?
We can see what the other sees. It made us an unbeatable duo in the casinos, let me tell you!
Wait, you’re con artists?
Of course we are! The only thing better than a phony psychic is a phony psychic that has some actual psychic powers. Hee hee.
And you’re okay with telling me?
Our criminal records are public, no point in hiding it.
Oh, yeah. That’s a standard con artist trick. Once they’re blown, they pretend to tell you everything, then start working on the next scheme.
HEY!
I smell a cop…



Ladies and Gentlemen, our new first FLYING SHIV!
Woo!
Yeah!
Any limitations?
Its profile will make it harder to hit, but also harder to take cover against. And its antigravity fuel is expended significantly if it flies more than a few inches off the ground, but a minute or two of tactical superiority may be all you need.
Well, I’ll get practicing with the controls!




We’ve expanded our research on plasma weaponry. It will be extremely expensive to reproduce weapons of this magnitude on our own, but we’ve yet to recover such a weapon from the enemy.
I should be able to use more of these weapon fragments to retrofit our SHIVs to shoot plasma too.
Do it! I want our tanks to be as lethal as possible.



The ultimate weapon for our giant cyborgs is also ready for production. Even a muton will likely be destroyed in a single hit with this.
Shit. I don’t know if I can afford to actually buy this thing. Uh… let me look up some alternative payment options…



Another EXALT cell located. Let’s send out Queen. The actual GOOD operative, as the one who can turn invisible.
Stay safe, okay?
Sure! Nothing can hit me. You know that.



So, my buddy, you can now turn invisible too! What’s it like?
Clumsy. I don’t know how Hilda does it. You can see everything except your own hands and feet, and I’m not as good at flatting myself into the tiny surface of a cardboard box, so I can’t hide as many places as Hilda. But whatever. As long as I can sneak past enemies long enough to blow them the fuck away, it’s all good. Uh… Yoko, why are you staring at your locker?
With my enhanced eyes I can see the individual cracks in the paint on each locker. It’s… kind of amazing, really.




We’ve finally finished research on the “telepathic” beacon. If we can install it in our base, we should eventually get telemetry on every single UFO out there.
The engineers will be busy as hell this month. Good thing we’ve got so many of them now.



Getting tight down there… but we have mostly everything we need now.



Abductions in Germany and France! I think we’ve let France get fucked more than enough. Time to end this.
Commander, I’m ready. My brain is on fire. You know what you must let me do!
I wouldn’t dream of holding you back now.



Zinchenko, what are— you know what, fuck it. You’ve earned a spot on the team, finally. Cam and Annette need to flex their mental muscles some more, and we want the unstoppable duo of Leroy and Bar-Lev.
This new “heavy plasma” weapon is so… big. I’m sure to destroy almost anything I hit.
Didn’t have quite enough leftover cash to help finish the giant cyborg gun, sadly.
I’ll make do.
And I’ve got some new poison grenades! Might be good for weakening enemies we want to capture later. We’ll try ‘em out if we get the chance.



With luck, this will be the very last abduction the world has to suffer. If we can keep the skies clear, everything will work out in the end.
We have tolerated this invasive filth long enough!
We’ve got reports of aircraft in the area…
UFOs?!



And there they go, folks! The multicolored soldiers of XCOM diving out of their mysterious craft to deal with the alien menace!
Bradford, what the hell?
There’s a swarm of journalist choppers breaking the no-fly-zone order.
Goddamn it, that’s stupid! Get them the hell out of there!



Am I photogenic enough? Do I look good?
Monique…
What? If I’m gonna be world-famous I want my first footage to be good! First impressions are important!
Focus on the mission, please! … why am I the one saying that?
Heh. You’ve really grown up.



Cable company? Aliens aren’t just stealing our people, they’re stealing cable!
BASTARDS!
Let me try this invisibility thing and scout ahead…



Whoah! Yeah, okay, I see a disc and drone guarding some Meld. It doesn’t see me. Maybe its guard will be down… doubleshot!



Wounded it, but now it’s in overwatch, be careful!
I can take a hit. Breaking cover!



Got it! Ha! Didn’t even have time to react.
Thanks, Mimi. You’ve always got our backs.
And that’s a classic one-two combo from Green Lightning and the Blue Rocket!
…what did they call us?



Woo! I love the grapple.
And meanwhile, White Knight is grappling to the tops of the roofs, presumably to cut off alien reinforcements from the other side.
…I’m a knight?



Deadeye Jack takes the shot…



Aaaaand it’s a classic Deadeye Miss! Even with a clear shot, he just can’t seem to hit those targets. Ha ha.
Oh my fucking GOD, is there an underground circuit that watches us? How long have these people been spying on us?



Fortunately, Ice Hot just made the save by breaking cover.
“Ice Hot!?” That’s so fucking cool! Commander, change my code name to Ice Hot!
No! At least, not NOW!
Do we have a security leak?
Someone in the Council of Nations may have been leaking footage to the press.
For publicity?
It’s working!



We seem to have lost sight of Green Lightning…
Guys, I can see a Mectoid and two Sectoids backing it up around the corner. Take up positions!
Got it!



Looks like the heroes of the earth have tipped their hands. The little guys are scattering for the hills while the Death Lobster scans the horizon.



Annette, make it feel pain! It won’t be able to shoot back as well!
R-right! RRRRGH! RRGGGHHH! SSSSUFFFER!



Whoah! That’s something we’ve never seen before. Looks like the rookie just earned a promotion!



And the White Knight lays down some suppressing fire with a new gun. That Death Lobster doesn’t know what the hell to aim at, now!



There, guys! I’m popping smoke so the Mechtoid can’t shoot you.
I’m invisible, it’s not gonna shoot me anyway!
Oh. Well now you REALLY don’t have to worry about being caught on camera. Just Mimi and me. Heh heh.



Aah! It’s nothing.



A sectoid takes a shot, and the Death Lobster tries its hardest, but the White Knight just shrugs it off without flinching. What a trooper, ladies and gentlemen.



There! I’ve wounded it! Eva, finish it off!
Can’t, it’s past my angle!
I’ll do it.



PEW! Another Blue Rocket Double-Blast to the head and the Death Lobster is down! Now for the soldiers to mop up the greys while they collect the Power Gel.



Fucking sectoids. I’ll make your heads explode with my MIND! HAHAHAHAHA! Ahhh, I love being magic.



OWWWW!
What?
Fucking car exploded and nobody was watching me!
Well, maybe you should have been paying more attention. Come on!
Shit. I made a fool of myself on international television.



In a new OVERKILL SCORE record, White Knight completely obliterates the remaining sectoid, the wall it was hiding behind, the wall behind it, and much of the surrounding building. That’s one big cannon she’s got, folks! *canned applause*



Nothing here. They must all be in the bookstore across the alley.



Yaigh. Yup, there they are, all right! I can take out one of them , but the rest… stack up around the building!



The team seems to be converging on the last known location of the invaders. And the rookie gives herself another bonus to her score by securing the second canister of Power Gel!
Bar-lev, breach the bookstore. I’ll shoot ‘em in the back!



Ahh, shit! They’re swarming me! Help!
SHIT! Coming!



I got a muton!
Rushing the Mechtoid!



Ha ha, not even close!
That must be why they call you “Green Lightning,” my friend.



Damaged it. It’s not dead!
My turn!



Ahahahahaha! A berserker and Mechtoid both destroyed at once.



TASTE MY HATE, FILTH!
Damn, she’s getting good at that.



A missed plasma shot blows open more of the wall, letting us see Blue Rocket surrounded by the corpses of her fallen enemies. Clearly she punched them both to death.
Hey! I killed them!



Auto-targeting engaged. Retaliation shot!
She can auto-target anything that shoots at her?
Her latest upgrade. She’s basically Robocop now.
I’m marrying Robocop? Sweet!



Aaah, shit, the Sectoid is trying to get more allies! Fight it, Annette!
I… can’t! Help!



I have you!



I don’t have you!
Another Deadeye Miss. Why do they even keep him around?
Damn it. Mimi, just punch that thing!
Got it.



HRRAAAAH! Enemy down!
Another amazing Blue Rocket save. She must be mighty pleased with herself.



Mission complete sir! And… did I hear you say marry? EEEEE!
Yeah. Well. I was gonna ask her later, after the mission, anyway… if she would, uh…



We’re shutting down, folks, but as we pull away, we can see Ice Hot and Blue Rocket sharing a passionate after-battle kiss! Wow! Let’s give the couple a little privacy for the time being…



I feel…stronger. Like my mind is getting used to zapping people’s nervous systems. I think I just added another page to my spellbook.
Excellent, my friend! Keep exercising those gray cells!
I’m going to catch up. That’s twice now those aliens have humiliated me.
But who were those people watching us? Why is there an “XCOM Show” or whatever?
It’s the 21st Century, Eva. There’s a camera in every phone and a phone in every pocket, and a profit to be made. The only question is… where’s the money going?



(Where, indeed? Heh heh heh heh… Well. I had to afford the Particle Cannon somehow.)