Part 44: The Power of PinkPart 44: The Power of Pink
This is the thickest armor I can possibly make. Its got power-assist servos in it to help it move around, and its built-in respirator will make you immune to strangulation by seekers, poisoning by Thin Men and smoke inhalation from small fires.
Holy shit, thats everything I ever wanted in one complete package!
No grappling hook, though, and you wont be able to duck out of the way as well.
Im working on an enhanced version of the Skeleton Armor that will have most of the positive features of the Titan Armor plus extras.
Its finished! Hahahaha!
I think we just evened the playing field.
Provided we equip it with proper weaponry, this will have no problem catching up to any UFO out there.
Ha! I told you moms were psychic!
Unfortunately, you suffered some nerve damage from that one time you were nearly killed your psychic abilities wont necessarily be as strong as Cams or Annettes.
Hey, beggars cant be choosers. Ill take what I can get.
Thats it, folks! We have TOTAL COVERAGE! The aliens will have to really struggle to kidnap any human beings from now on. Of course, this means we wont be getting any more incentives for abductions, but well be doing just fine with our current recruits, income, and support staff.
Unless some of our top soldiers start dying off, we probably wont need too many new recruits after the Furies joined us.
So on top of being terrorists, EXALT are horrifying white supremacists. Ugh. Which reminds me, youre really lucky Latisha never gave you any shit over the new DNA, unlike Evas family.
Yeah, Moms pretty cool like that. Not everyone would be so accepting of their kid being a gender-fluid trans-body super-mutant. Besides, Ive got psychic powers now! Ill probably grow in power until I become an energy being and then it really wont matter whose DNA Ive got, hahahaha.
Yeah, yeah. Rub it in. What am I thinking of, Psilord?
Uh something about pink? Oh, youre picking out a wedding outfit.
Hee hee hee hee. Something like that.
Shen dropped another bomb on me. Okay, so not only are our eggs preserved in case either of us want children some day, but with a little meld I could even combine my DNA with Moniques so we could have a baby. Shed carry it, and uh wow.
Its good to have options! But you neednt rush into anything.
I know, I know, its just wow. What a world that kid would be born into.
Hmm. The DNA would be from the new Bar-Lev, so dark skin, spiky red hair mixed with Moniques genes no Y chromosome so itd definitely be a girl mixed with Leroys blue hair it might mean purple hair so shed grow up to look like Eva!
Eva totally rocks that look. You have a problem with that?
But what if this means Eva is secretly their daughter from THE FUTURE sent back in time to help us?!
Pfft. My adopted little sister is probably not from the future. Probably. Although at this point in our crazy lives it would be pretty stupid of me to rule that out
One of the problems facing us is the lack of available weapon fragments and other useful materials from shot-down craft. This new weapon for our craft will solve that problem by minimizing the amount of collateral damage to the craft and its inhabitants. The downside is that there will be more alien survivors in the crash, but the upside is more intact weapons or weapon fragments.
Expensive weapon, but Im sure itll be worth it.
And oh, no! Sabotage! They copied and wiped some of the data from our servers!
Ahh, HELL! EXALT! Those fuckers I knew we needed to sweep more.
We didnt lose as much data as we could have. Still
Grrrgh send out Zinchenko with permission to blow as many of those fuckers away as he can!
***** TIME PASSES *****
That was the most boring week ever. NOTHING HAPPENED!
At least Zinchenkos ready for us.
What, today? NOW?
ah, what the hell. Commander, request Operation Duo!
huh. Okay. Sure!
Whats Operation Duo?
Wait, why are Hilda and I in white? Whys everyone else in pink? Whats going on
Cam, marry me.
*choke* *sputter* Right NOW!?
Yes, right now! We dont know whatll happen on the mission. Someone could die. Im not waiting one minute longer than necessary.
Im your best friend, Cam, so Ill be your best woman!
Im here to give away my daughter.
And Im here to give away mine!
Im the maid of honor!
Cam, we never know what tomorrow will bring. Maybe fortune, maybe disaster. Maybe we wont even have the same faces in 24 hours. But I want to be with you through it all. Do you want the same from me?
Uh sure! Yes! Absolutely! I do!
Then, by the power vested in me, you two are officially married. Congratulations. Your MREs have been replaced with small rectangles of cake. Enjoy your flight!
My head is still spinning Im married? Really? Wooooowwww.
Ha ha ha. I warned you, Cam. You never know when a Van Doorn will strike.
Mmf! This cake is delicious!
This is what you were planning all along, werent you? All that stuff you were whispering about to my mom and Leroy.
I was gonna wait for a lull between missions, but yeah, heh. Like HELL I was gonna let Leroy beat me to the altar.
Eeee. If Hildas my sister now then that means were sisters-in-law, Cam!
One big, happy, mutated family. For as long as it lasts, and I hope itll last quite a while
Only thing were missing is a flower girl. We can let Zinchenko be that, haha.
Okay, okay. Time to get serious. Shooting bad guys. Saving the world. EASY stuff.
Aaaah, youll be fine, kid. Trust me.
Some sort of giant docks warehouse with boats on either side of the pier Zin, you there?
Im here, my friend! Ahahaaha. I see Queen implemented Operation Duo. Congratulations!
How many of you assholes knew about this and didnt tell me? I never mind! The mission. Zin, why is everything on fire near you?
I blew up a tank with HAND GRENADES! Very Solid Snake, eh? Ha! But I need to secure two data packets and one small container of biomaterial hidden inside the comm relays.
Right. Everyone get ready to clear Zin a path. Hilda, use your super-jump to leap to the top of the warehouse, everyone else stack up on the sides. Im turning invisible and opening up the warehouse door.
Whoah! Yeah. Two enemy squads on either side! Ive got a clear shot on one of em.
Or maybe I dont! FUUUUUCK!
Newlywed jitters, eh?
What the fuck? Theyre here?!
Why the hell are they all wearing girly pink armor? Is this some new form of psychological torture?
WE care! Leroy worked very hard to make our armor as pretty as possible!
Yeah, since you guys all wear pin-striped pants and suspenders youre in no position to criticize us.
This is the most beautiful day of my life and I will NOT let you ruin it!
Damn straight, Evie!
The guys on the right are coming, heads up.
The hell is going on here? XCOM somehow got even girlier than before.
Are you laughing at my pink gun, boy?
Sure am! Ha!
Well, have fun hitting the pink girls when were in the middle of pink smoke! Ha!
Shit! Tactical girliness!
I cant hit anything! Too much pink!
Im fine! Shit. BIG hole in the Titan Armor, though.
Hiding behind high cover, huh? Im gonna Zinchenko you out of there!
Hes exposed, get im!
Okay! The left side of the warehouse is clear. Zinchenko, get over here and get to the comm relay on the roof!
Yes sir, General!
Woof, it is a good thing I know how to climb pipes! Ha!
Cant see shit over there, hes covered in smoke. Ill try to flush him out!
Counter-sniping the boat sniper!
BOOM! Never laugh at the power of love!
And Im finishing off the guy Latisha flushed!
Damn. You are cleaning house tonight.
Shit! Im outta here! These ladies are crazy!
You were invisible and waiting for me? AWW FUCK!
Ha! If Im going to hell Im taking you with me!
Like hell you are.
Today has been full of mind-blowing events for me. Mind as well blow your mind too!
Wedding party, huh? Well, every party needs a pooper!
Heh. I know youre still up here somewhere, Queen. Your stink is all over this roof.
(Hell! I cant take them both out!)
Dont worry! I got your back!
Youre clear, hon, finish the other guy!
Two more! Im shooting!
What the FUCK is going on down here?
Were under attack by bridesmaids!!!
*snort* What, really? Haha.
Never laugh at love, buster. Zin, you clear yet?
My enhanced nose smells cake! Whos got cake? Can I have some?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Its a SHOTGUN wedding!
Hey, cool! I can use my brain powers to KILL now.
Zinchenkos free and the package is secure. Everyone, enjoy your flight home.
I hope you saved some cake for me, my friends.
Sure we did!
Its funny. I dont actually feel any different now that Im married.
Good! That means being in love is a natural state for you. Your relationship will be a healthy one. Mmm, this IS good cake.
Think I ate too much. Im gonna hurl
I dont feel so good either
Holy shit! Are you ladies okay? Whats the matter?
Commander, everyone but me and Zinchenko are falling-down sick! Even Cam!
Zinchenko, what was in the package?
A sealed biological sample at least, it was supposed to be sealed. Oh, no
Commander, incoming message from Exalts Director!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I hope you enjoy your prize, fools. Its an alien disease. We call it meld flu. Everyone enhanced with alien genetics will be sick as dogs. All your prize soldiers are now worthless! YEE HEE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
To Be Continued!