The Let's Play Archive

Xenogears

by The Dark Id

Part 83: Episode LXXX: Yes. This is Really Happening!

Episode LXXX: Yes. This is Really Happening!


“Humans are an imperfect, foolish life form... I will show the greatness of a perfect life form! Achtzehn, the combination of human wisdom and the strength of steel."
"Crap!! At this rate, I can't do anything!"
”One of you jackasses back in the palace gonna hop in your Gear and come help?”
“I’ll be rig—“
“Not Rico. Someone with a Gear that won’t take all day to make it here.”
*frown*

"That is not what I mean. What if... If Seibzehn..."
"...!!"

Music: Gathering Stars in the Sky


“...What I am saying is that it would not be surprising if it is equipped with an anti-jamming shield."
”An Anti-Anti-Gear Psycho Jammer, if you will.”
“Good job, Hyu. You made an even stupider name for this crap.”

"...Listen, Maria... If the other Gears become immobile, you and Seibzehn are the only hope. You're full of spirit... You can decide what to do yourself."
”The option that doesn’t get us all killed would be preferable, however.”
"More than that... I don't wanna say it but... Your father is no longer in there..."
"Stop it!! You wouldn't know!! Even though, it may be, I... to me..."
"I see... oh well... Might as well expect the worst then."
”Got a bar around this dump? I’d rather not go down sober.”
"...I'm sorry..."

Chuthulhu starts hoping around...


"...!? What are you saying, Chuthulhu!?"
"So... please let me go along."
”’kay, I’m downing a few rounds and then I'm shootin’ that thing. Any objections?”
“Negative.”
“Nope.”
“The motion has passed. The bar is down the elevator, second structure on the left.”

*nods* "No problem. The gods will look after us. Let's go."


And with that, the furry abomination rolls out of the room. I like that Jessie is just brandishing a shotgun and looking bored the other direction.


Maria decides to give chase after Chuthulhu. Alright folks...


Just go ahead and watch this video or else you’ll probably think I’m bullshitting this next part.



Maria gives chase to the very top of Shevat Palace, where we heard her rambling about something or other a few updates ago.


"Leave it up chu me, Maria. No sweat!"


“...looking low level animal...?"



Music: Flight (Hey, this is probably the best track in the game. Go listen to it!)


“Get your butt ready chu be kicked across the other end of the horizon!!"
”I am going to go ahead and vaporize you now. I will not lie... I will probably derive quite a bit of joy from the act.”


Uhh...?


Alright. Maybe it’s going to randomly explode in a heroic sacrifice. I’m okay with a Chuicide Bomber end to this thing.


Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhh...


And so Chuthulhu grew five stories tall. Hello. WHAT?!?!


”...”
“...”
“...You’ve got to be shitting me.”





So, yeah. This is actually a thing. The cutesy mascot character did just randomly turn 50 feet tall and is now fighting another character’s giant robot dad. No. I have no fucking clue why. It could apparently just do that this whole time... Drakengard! Xenogears!


Pictured: Said 50 foot tall mascot character ass-slamming into a giant robot.


Achtzehn can try using all its anti-Gear defenses on Chuthulhu in a desperate attempt to murder the giant pink rodent attacking it. But the Chu-chu ignores all advances. Well...at least the Lovecraftian horror title is fitting...

After a few minutes of Achtzehn getting its ass handed to it by Chuthulhu...


"I'm not a low level life-form. I'm Chuthulhu. Don't be a bad loser! If you wanchu apologize, you had better do it while you still can."










And so Nikolai shoots Chuthulhu point blank in the face with its main cannon, ending the silliest battle in all of Xenogears.

Good fucking grief...










Chuthulhu’s Big Scene
(Yes. Watch this!)



Music: Flight




Chu-Chu Concept Art – Good fucking grief...