The Let's Play Archive


by The Dark Id

Part 84: Episode LXXXI: Seibzehn!

Episode LXXXI: Seibzehn!

"I're a giant native lifeform of this planet... You're not... a young rankar. Species name, dotesqueChu-Chupolin (intellect, astronomically low)! They still haven't gone extinct yet? But, through genetic engineering, they're supposed to have been minimized in size... Probably one of the survivors that had their Limiters removed by the wisemen from Shevat. Intriguing... You'd make an excellent guinea pig. I'll use you for many experiments!"
”The particularly painful, gruesome ones.”
“Hey, Bart.”
“Am I high as shit or did the pink furry thing just grow like 20 times bigger...?”
“Man, I don’t even care anymore.”
“Welp. I am officially an atheist.”
*sighs and grumbles something in Solarian*

“Big sister Maria...”

Since apparently both the Uzukis are terrible parents, Citan’s daughter wanders out just yards away from the giant robot armed with a huge fuck-off cannon that is trying to kill everyone...

"No, you shouldn't be here!! It's dangerous here so stay in..."
"Calling... Your father..."
*looks at Achtzehn* "What...?"
"Uh uh... No... It's not... that scary thing over there."
”Big sister Maria...”
“Big damn hero!”

Maria turns and nods

Music: Flight ~ Orchestral Version

Maria proceeds to haul ass back to Seibzehn’s hangar. Good thing the elevators are suddenly working again. Having Maria hop into the vents and immediately get torn to pieces by the first monster she encounters would be a bit anti-climactic.

“Let's go! Solaris'... Solaris'... enemy is awaiting!!"

Maria gets to the top of her giant robot in record speed...

Man it took us like six and a half chapters for Billy to get over his daddy issues. Maria’s been in the game for barely three full chapters and she’s ready to go power slam her dad’s giant robot off the edge of Shevat. Shame her entire story arc was also these three chapters in Shevat...

"...It's true that I'm Maria Balthasar. But, you... who are you...?"
"Of course it's me, Nikolai! Look at this, Maria. The results of my research!"
”...It’s just a palette swap of Seibzehn.”
"This huge, powerful, forever shining body! There'll be no aging and death. I was reborn as a new breed."
*frown* <Normal kids just have to deal with an absentee or drunk father. Mine turned himself into a giant robot...>

“His warm smile... I wanted him to be by my side forever!!"
”Don’t worry, honey. We can turn you into a Cyborg Gear too. We can be a giant robot family! Forever!”

“You don't need to perish along with these feeble humans. Now, come, Maria. Start a new life with me. We shall begin a new Chapter in life. Let's build a bright future together. I'll be by your side and protect you this time for sure. I promise you."

Seibzehn shifts back into fighting stance...

"Seibzehn... What? You dare stand against me, your creator?"
"T... this is...!! Seibzehn!?"
"Interesting... I'll take you on. I'll show you how great Nikolai is, and the power of the Achtzehn. Come on, Seibzehn!!"

Welp, time for a thirteen year old girl riding a giant rocket powered robot to take on her father, who has become a giant rocket powered robot. Yup.

Achtzehn can transform into a goofy ramming form as well unleash its ineffective Anti-Gear Psycho Jammer thingamajig that doesn’t work on Seibzehn for vaguely explained conjecture by Citan (which automatically makes it true.) Unlike Chuthulhu’s sequence, which was basically an interactive cutscene, #18 can actually do some damage to #17 here. But, unless you’re working at losing, Maria pretty much steamrolls her father in short order.

Pictured: A giant robot powerbombing another giant robot. Xenogears is the best game.

After the battle, Nikolai suddenly gets a character portrait! He was just text based prior to this. But I took some liberties.’s not really a shocking revelation that he looks like a big-nosed white guy...

“I'm going to release your Graviton Cannon from its seal by remote control! Use that to defeat me."
"Father! Have you come to your senses!?”
”Wait... My what from where?!”
“I installed a gravity cannon in Seibzehn that only I can activate remotely in case of an emergency.”
“But I thought you programmed it so only I can command Seibzehn.”
“Indeed... Getting forced by Solaris into having my brain transplanted into a Gear and having to unwillingly attack you was that emergency.”
“That is...really planning ahead...”
“These possibilities come up when dabbling in super-science. Now go!”

“No! I can't do it!! The Graviton Cannon... you yourself had it sealed up because of its destructive power. Father, if I use that on you..."
"Fire!! It doesn't matter... I, Nikolai, no longer exist... Before I was brainwashed by Solaris, I implanted a conscience circuit in Achtzehn... This would respond and activate in the presence of Seibzehn. My message is coming from there. And, during the battle, I transferred all my data from there to Seibzehn. I may have lost my body, but my spirit is with Seibzehn, no, with you, Maria. Now and forever!"
”So...Seibzehn is my father too...?”
“Sort of...”

"...I can't. I can't bring myself to do it!! Huh! Seibzehn! Don't... I can't control you! Father, are you doing this!? Please, don't make him shoot!!"

Seibzehn fires its Graviton Gun on Nikolai. It is...honestly not all that impressive an attack...

But, it’s enough to successfully one-shot Achtzehn. So does this count as giant-robot mercy kill or giant robot suicide?

Well...that was a pretty damn ridiculous series of events. And this is coming from a game where the last major story event had us battling Not-Catholic Priest the Red Skull which was defeated partially by a character shooting their father out of a cannon. Good old Xenogears...

Seibzehn vs. Achtzehn!
(Worth watching. At least the Seibzehn start-up sequence.)

Music: Flight ~ Orchestral Version

Maria, Midori, and Primera Artwork – Whatever happened to Billy’s sister anyway? I think they stuffed her in the same broom closet as Hammer.