The Let's Play Archive

.hack (Series)

by DoubleNegative

Part 7: .hack Infection - //Update 07 - New and Old Friends

//Update 07

Today's gonna be an interesting day. There's quite a lot for us to do, so let's waste no time and hop right into the thick of things! The second we get to the desktop, we have mail waiting for us!

Mistral really likes cooking. Though she seems to always burn what she fixes. The poor girl is way too fixated on the game to pay attention to little things like food she left in the oven. Now that we've swapped recipes, let's see if there's anything going on in the game.


: What I do is none of your business, Elk.

: Mia... Do you like him?

: Like him? What do you mean by that?

: Mia, uh - uh... I... I like you.

: What? What's this? I feel strange.

: Hey! Can we talk for a minute? I have a favorite area, but it's been looking odd lately. It might have been caused by a Data Bug. You're the only one who can help. The area is Δ Plenteous Smiling Hypha. Can you come with me?

: Sure.

: Thank you!

Okay, I'm not repeating the mistake I made last time. Any time we have to deal with Elk or Mia, it always ends in bullshit, so I'm gonna pre-emptively put a stop to half the bullshit and engage in some level grinding. We'll even take Natsume along for the hell of it.

These guys are still a pain in the ass, though at least they're a bit more manageable now that everyone is approximately the same level.

Grandpa is the higher level equivalent to Monsieur. If an item is too high level for Monsieur, then Grandpa can take care of it. If the item is too high level for Grandpa, then you need to go to the next server. The Grandpa Lv. 2, over on Θ server can handle pretty much any weapon or armor in the game, barring rares and anything extremely powerful. We'll get more into that in the future, though.

The Ryu Books are essentially the completionist's guides for the game. These are how you unlock new wallpapers, background music for the desktop, and the game's movies (which are then played on the desktop.) The Books keep track of various stats for you. In this case, Book I "Chronicles the total number of areas and total play time." Obtaining 100% completion of the games is made easier using these, especially in conjunction with an online guide.

A new Book is generated every 10 data drains you do. As you can see here, I haven't been keeping up with the drains very well. We won't have all eight until after the game's been beaten, unfortunately.

This here is our trio of intrepid adventurers after the grinding session. Elk did surprisingly well and didn't annoy me at all. (Barring, of course, his constant "Is that Aromatic Grass?" every tine you open a chest.) Natsume held her own pretty decently, too. She was level 1 in the last update and started out today's update at 9. She's definitely been putting in some overtime in the game.

I also made an error in the previous update. I said that "Ap Vorv" as the physical accuracy buff - and that's incorrect. It is, actually, the physical defense buff. Sorry. Anyway, let's boot Natsume, add BlackRose, and see just what Elk wanted to do.

Warp awa--

Son of a bitch! Okay, fine. We'll kick BlackRose and go with Elk. Good thing we went level grinding, huh?


: I don't see anything wrong with this place.

: I'm sorry. Actually, um... There's something I wanna ask you.

: ...?

: I'll give you every item I have. In return for - um... Can you give me your bracelet? Please! I beg you! If I get it... Mia will hang around with me again, just like we used to.

: ......

Kite groans/sighs here. It's pretty funny. Also, can you all see just why I hate Elk so much now? He's useless, he's a liar, he's annoying, and everything he's involved with has way more bullshit than it needs to.

: What the - What?! What's happening?

: Let's go to the dungeon. We might find something.

That's... creepy. A giant mummy being flown around in the sky by a bunch of airships. These things appear in the skies of a lot of fields in Δ server. We've been monumentally unlucky in that we're only seeing it now for the first time. The ships teleport around the sky for as long as you're in the field. Just one of the pretty cool touches that CyberConnect added to the game!

That tree is really creepy. Our airborne friend in the background doesn't help matters, either. Can you guys guess what sort of dungeon it's going to be?

Frankly, I'm just as surprised as you all. I was expecting another flesh dungeon, certainly not a rock-type.

: This place didn't use to be like this. The lie I told is now true.

: Lie?

: I lied to get you to come here, and now it's come true.

I hate Elk so much. Anyway, the dungeon is pretty simple - all the level grinding having paid off quite a bit. It's only a few minutes before we're standing at the bottom of the dungeon and, oh look - a boss.

: Elk!!!
: Mia is calling me... Mia is calling me!

: You were looking for me? Me?

: I'm not sure, but - I miss you when you're not around.

: Thank you Mia. But... our favorite area is now ruined.

: In theory, there's an infinite number of areas. We'll find another one somewhere else.

: Yeah. You're right.

There's no screenshot to go along with it, but we got a Virus Core P from the Ki/er S^*aker. Anyway, they both leave and presumably log off. They're not available for contact after they vanish, at least. There's really nothing else to do in the game, so let's see what's going on outside of it.

There's a lot of posts on the forum. Most of them are in one topic.

Eavesdropping Zyan, one of the Four Gob Kings will be waiting at: Δ Detestable Golden Scent gob.

Author: unyu

If you're level 8, I recommend the "Kotetsu Sword" in: Δ Hideous Destroyer's Far Thunder.
RE: then
Author: Sanjuro

Thanks. I'm going to head over there now.

Challenger Approaching!

RE: Grand Opening
Author: Heril

I just love Miss Gardenia!
Let me join too!
Author: Yunora

I only saw her passing by, but when I saw Miss Gardenia for the first time, it was fate. Please let me join too~~~~~
Miss Gardeniaaaaa
Author: Meria

Silent Miss Gardenia... she's the coolest!!
For Example
Author: Yoroshikuu

Miss Gardenia would be an enemy character.
RE: For Example
Author: Heril

Yoroshikuu: Get out of this thread! Loser!
RE: For Example
Author: Moeri

Sys Admin! Please delete Yoroshikuu's post!
Just a loser
Author: Meria

Hey, why don't we get together sometime?
RE: Just a loser
Author: Yunora

That'll be great, but where does everyone live?
RE: Just a loser
Author: Meria

Oh, I forgot that this is the net.
RE: Just a loser
Author: Moeri

Miss Gardenia's favorite area these days is: Θ Soft Solitary Tri Pansy. Why don't we get together? We might be able to meet Miss Gardenia!
RE: Just a loser
Author: Heril

I'm all for it!
RE: Just a loser
Author: Yoroshikuu

I'm going too. <JK>

Ever seen a bigger self-reinforcing circlejerk? Also, Challenger Approaching!

RE: Is it that bad?
Author: Huey

Headaches, fainting, vomiting! It might even be as bad as the "Deadly Flash."
What's Deadly Flash?
Author: Marrrtin

What's Deadly Flash again? I've heard about it...

When I talk to it, it tells me the "food" it wants and "where" it is, but I don't really understand them. >_<

I know Root Vegetable is in the Wastelands. Where do other people get the food?
RE: Can't find food
Author: Baan

Mandragora is in Grasslands with Windmills.
RE: Can't find food
Author: JING

The ones I know are: (Put them into Part C and it's usually there.)

Piney Apple: Part B: Solitary
Mushroom: Part C: Hypha
Mandragora: Part C: Aqua Field
RE: Can't find food
Author: Quatro

OK, I know:

Twilight Onion: Part B: Gluttonous
Cordyceps: Part B: Someone's
Oh No Melon: Part B: Destroyer's
La Pumpkin: Part C: Paradise
Snakey Cactus: Part C: Fiery Sands
White Cherry: Part C: White Devil

Of course they also appear with other words as well.

That's over half of the Grunty Food in the game that they outright told you how to find. Not counting the five kinds of eggs, there's only two kinds they don't give explicit keywords for: Root Vegetable, (which is found in earth-element fields) and Grunt Mints, (which can be found in fire-element fields.)

It is bolted on easily between the human, toilet and the sewer, so there is no hassle involved.

The CC Corporation announced that because of this, they will massively upgrade the key network OS, "ALTIMIT" in the near future. The next generation ALTIMIT OS will have improved stability and communication quality.

Though the OS was already known for its stability and security, CC Corporation stated in its press release that the next upgrade will create an "almost perfect" network environment, and will be distributed to households all over the world.

Well, that's nice to know. Kite seems to be getting on well with the women on his team. Now, based on the "Challenger Approaching" warnings I gave above, there's a lot for us to do waiting for us in the game. Let's get back into the action!

: Are... are you quite sure that I may take this item?

: It's all yours.

: Ooo hoo!! Then I shall use it now.

: Heh, heh, heh. If you want the cure, you've got to look for it at: Δ Putrid Hot-blooded Scaffold.

This is one of Mia's quirks. She loves to torture Piros like this. And as annoying as it is for us, I have admit that it is a pretty good troll. It's also pretty damn funny.

: ...what did you get?

: ...magic love potion...

: At any rate, let's head to: Δ Putrid Hot-blooded Scaffold. Heh, heh, heh...

Piros can wait. Let's go see if we can't help Sanjuro instead. The usual party is rounded up for this job.

: All of these Treasure Boxes are full of junk. This ain't funny. Hate to say this, but if you're looking for a sword as well, it's a waste of time.

Does he even remotely understand how this game works? I'll bet you anything the sword is in the Gott Statue Chest.

: (Sanjuro was looking for this.)

: You found the Kotetsu Sword?! Say, why don't you leave it with me?

: Thanks. Call me whenever you need me.

: This is for you. Take it.

The books are extremely rare items that will increase one of your stats. Usually you have to trade some pretty specific items to get one. So getting one for free is a good deal. Sanjuro is an example of a good party member. He's also a Heavy Blade, like BlackRose. So if she's ever unavailable, he makes a pretty good replacement. While we're helping folks out, let's see just what that circlejerk about "Miss Gardenia" was. To Θ server!

This is a dungeon-type wood-element field. It's just like that forest that we saw back in the third update. The surface is pretty boring, it's the dungeon where things get interesting.

: No... I don't want it.

To make things easier, Heril is , Yunore is , Moeri is , and Meria is .

: It's not for you! Please be careful with it! And don't you dare throw it away!
: ...... (Hmm. Is Miss Gardenia in the back? Let's go.)

: Miss Gardenia, please return safely.

: Miss Gardenia went deep into the dungeon alone.

: You have to be strong to follow Miss Gardenia.

Gardenia can be found at the stairs down to the second level.

: You seem to have no manners.

: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you Miss Gardenia?

: Yes, I am. What do you want?

: Someone asked me to give this letter to you.
: Someone?

: I guess she's a fan of yours.

: No thank you!

: (...I should run after her.)

Like before, she can be found on the stairs down. This time, on the stairs down to the third level.

: But I promised...

: They must have forced this upon you.

: Well, you could say that...

: Then it's not really a promise. Forget about it.

We chase after her again. Same deal as before - stairs down to the fourth level we find her again.


Pretty good weapon we'd have missed if we went to the only place where Gardenia would obviously be. The Life Drain effect is pretty rare, and doesn't heal for a whole lot, but every little bit helps!

When we find Gardenia, she's fighting a (relatively) weak monster. We whip it pretty soundly for her.

: You are surprisingly strong. Very well, I will accept it under two conditions. One, you will join my party when I summon you. And second, do not call me Miss! That is all.

: All right then. I'll be using an item to escape. Since those girls are probably waiting for me on B1.

: Was Miss Gardenia OK?

: You did give her the letter, right?

: What!? She used an item to get back?

: You guys, we're off to Root Town!

: (The entire group) Right on!

Gardenia is the only Long Arm that joins us for a rather long time. I'd also like to point out that, no, she is not the character that Mimiru talks about in the bonus episode of Sign. Gardenia is no more that character than Elk is Tsukasa, Orca is Bear, or BlackRose is Mimiru. That is to say, not at all.

Anyway, we've left Piros stewing in Mac Anu long enough - let's help the poor fellow out. We boot BlackRose and invite him into the party.

Who can spot what I'm doing wrong?

I rushed through the dungeon like an idiot, thinking the cure was in the Gott Stature Chest. I was sorely mistaken, though we did get the Fire Helm. That's a pretty decent hat that's relatively high level. We find the cure in a chest off in one of the side rooms on the bottom floor.

: That is indeed the cure! Please, give it to me!

: (Let's look elsewhere.)

We find this one floor up. Who can sense the pattern that's emerging, and can correctly guess what we have to do?

: That must be it! Please give it to me!

: (Let's look elsewhere.)

On the second floor.

: That must be the one! I'm sure it is!

: Ohhhh!

: Well... almost... (Let's look elsewhere.)

Top floor.

: ......

: I'm back...

: Good for you.

: Yes! I'll give you this to show my appreciation.

: May the stars shine upon you!

Yeah, not using that. I did that dungeon completely in reverse order. You're supposed to start at the top and open every chest until you find the remedies, working your way down. Instead, we had to go through the dungeon twice. I blame this entirely on Mia.

Alright, there was one last interesting post on the boards earlier... Goblin Tag! Let's dissolve the party and beat the hell out of a Goblin.

Another Goblin King down!

Here's Kite after all of today's excitement. He's looking pretty buff right now, eh? Anyway, we've once again run out of things to do in the game, so let's see what's going on outside.

RE: Test Version
Author: Korm

There's a game called "Fragment" in a magazine from 2 years ago.
RE: Test Version
Author: 01

That's the one. The title and the menu design changed, but the game seems to be the same. Oh, and some items were also deleted.

RE: Where are the Eggs?
Author: Korm

You've got it. Eggs are only found in dungeons.
RE: Where are the Eggs?
Author: 01

The eggs are located as follows:

Immature Egg: Stone Wall Dungeons.
Bear Cat Egg: Castle Wall Dungeons
Invisible Egg: Cave Wall Dungeons
Bloody Egg: Flesh Wall Dungeons

Look for the words yourself.

You can haggle at a supermarket? I thought the prices were set.

She was freaked about it too!

The actual keywords are: Θ Cursed Despaired Paradise.

You're still gonna go right?

Alright, that's enough for today. Next time: Data bugs! A white room! 9999 GP!