The Let's Play Archive

.hack (Series)

by DoubleNegative

Part 55: .hack Quarantine - //Update 15 - Goblin Tag Final Rounds

//Update 15

Hello again everyone. I apologize again for how awful the last update was. There was nothing funny to say about any of it, and being informative wasn't happening.

This update things will be different! We're going to play tag, and we have three games worth of it to catch up on.

It turns out Goblins are hilariously weak to wood elemental spells.

The R-series are still pretty weak. You can simply bat them out of the way with spells or melee and it's going to hurt them quite a lot. But we're also dealing with Goblins from Mutation's time. So let's jump ahead to Outbreak.

I think it's cheating that he tells to come alone, but he's cloned himself twice.

This takes several minutes of running with a speed scroll. The best way is to actually run away from the goblin so it stops moving, then while it's doing something else, run up to it really quick and smack it.

Jonue is also pretty easy to take out, just time consuming.

Zyan is a bastard. He occasionally heals for 400, so several minutes of work can be undone if the bastards chain heal each other.

Albert took me a very, very long time to beat. I recorded at least 5 minutes of running around fruitlessly, and the next recording picks up 20 minutes later with this.

Albert has decided to start casting spells at you. He uses one of the Rom spells, so every so often you get trapped in a tornado that deals chip damage to you, and if you're very unlucky you can get stunned there for a while.

Before you can beat Albert, you need a weapon (or armor) that permits casting Suvi Lei. Albert and Martina are susceptible to paralysis, so that's the only way you're going to win against them. When you paralyze Albert, you have 5 seconds to get over to him and take as much health off as you possibly can. You're eventually going to win, but it will take a damn long time.

Armed with the knowledge of how to beat Albert, I set out to attack Martina in the same fashion. My efforts were stymied when it came to light that she's magic tolerant. So in order to kill each of the three Martinas running around, you need to use a Beast's Bane to remove the tolerance. Then after the incredibly long animation finishes playing, you need to use Suvi Lei to paralyze her.

That leaves you with approximately two seconds in which you need to bombard her with powerful magic. Most spells will take too long to cast, as she'll run out of range before they even deal damage.

So you need to drop something on her head. I used OrGan Don, but any *Don spell will work wonderfully for this purpose. You're only going to have enough time for one spell to connect.

Oh and Martina can also heal.

This round of tag is incredibly challenging, and will sorely test your patience, but it is possible to achieve victory if you're prepared.

She asked if we wanted to become honorary Goblins. For some unknowable reason, I have three copies of the "Martina is Defeated" screenshot followed up by resuming halfway through her conversation.

I blame turning my video files to screenshots all on the same, very long, day.

Quarantine's batch of Goblin Tag lets us bring friends.

Elk makes short work of them.

The last rounds of Goblin Tag are really formalities. You presumably have more important things to be worrying about than playing tag with weapons.

Zyan's fight took a while even with three people. Eventually I put a speed boost on Kite and that seemed to help a little. Apparently Zyan felt the need to put curse on Blackrose.

Albert took a very long time to fight. It also started to dawn on me that Blackrose wasn't being very useful in these fights. Her weapon took a long time to swing, making it difficult to hit things.

I went with the Nuclear Option for the final round of Goblin Tag. Helba neatly annihilated Martina each time I removed her magic tolerance, making this ironically the easiest round in the series.


Back in Infection, I mentioned that I had been an idiot and sold the some of the Goblin Equipment from that volume, leaving me unable to show off what happens when you equip all of them.

It turns out that I was mistaken.

That may look like a lot of damage, but I am nuking enemies in Δ Bursting Passed Over Aqua Field. Kite here is level 98, and these guys are level 1.

Goblin King has an impressively wide area of effect.

The video I linked above has the full animations of each summon. The last two come with enough explosions to make Michael Bay weep from the beauty of it all.

That's the end of this update, kiddies. We're almost at the end of everything!

NEXT TIME: Ω Hidden Darkside Holy Ground