Part 57: INTERVIEW: Ira

BGM: Meridianus


We're seeing if you're stable. You can think of it as a routine health checkup.

O-oh wow! And it's free?

Yes. We'll need to ask you a few questions.

Free health care... I-I'm in.

What is your name and occupation?



I noticed that. What is your birthday?

It's August two.

And your favorite color?

R-red! Red is strong and m-mighty, though I prefer r-red red, not orange red or whatever. I d-dyed my hair even more red so it would be r-really really red instead of the o-orange red that I had.

We only need the basic information, so keep it all concise.

K-Keep it short? Okay.



Please don't stray off-topic. Do you do any sports?

Yeah, a-a little, if people would have me at least. Most people d-don't want anything to do with me, so uh, their loss I g-guess. Maybe they know I'd wipe the floor with their face, hahaha.



But that's just a p-pipe dream. To make it there, you have to s-start really young and get good fast. I'll just never get the c-chance for it.

(Especially not when she will be done with your head.)

Huh? You s-say something?

Don't worry about it. What do you want to be when you grow up?



You're still a teenager.

F-Fair, you got a point. I'm not yet, I guess. But when I'll be, I t-thought about it and... maybe it would be kinda c-cool to be some kind of mafia boss. They'd call me “the godfather” a-and I'd have a cute daughter no one must find out. But a-also, I'd have a gun, and it would be really cool.



Coolness is debatable and subjective. Does your tattoo mean something, or is it just to look cool?

O-oh, this tattoo on my shoulder? It means something. I think it's J-Japanese for “roar”? Something like t-that, anyway. It looks r-really cool, but it's not a real tattoo... Maybe I'll c-commit later, even if I don't want to inject ink into my muscles.

BGM: Membrana


Who let her out of her vat? Security, we have a situation.

L-like you'd know anything about tattoos...

Yeah, I do. I got one. A real one. It's for private eyes only.

So... that means you d-don't actually have one, got it.

Security!

BGM: Silence


The interview went back on track afterwards.

BGM: Meridianus
Did you know anything about her running free?

F-free? I thought this whole operation was free. Was that a l-lie?

No. I guess I'll just chain with the next question. No point wasting time. Why do you show off your muscles?



I got it, so I can s-show it off, right? People show off what they got all the time. They show off their p-possessions, their m-money, and everything else. This much... is all I c-can show off, so I will. D-dunno if it's healthy to think of it that way, but... there's no helping it w-when the rest of the world works that way. I know it s-sucks but if I don't show off what I c-can show off, what's my worth to other people?

Everyone has a different worth to other people. But I digress. About your muscles, are you good at doing exercise, or do you just use them to fight?

Oh, I d-don't like to fight. Sure, I can get a bit a-angry at times... but I don't want to just mindlessly fight, you understand, right? I want to be a-anti-violent if I can. Having these muscles is j-just for show and for t-threat, I'd prefer not punching anyone. S-so yeah... exercising mainly, fighting the least possible.



Nobody is judging you. What does your workout routine look like?

Uhh... To be honest, I don't really k-know. I know I should have something more o-organized, but... I just do it, you know? I run a lot, and I e-eat a lot. Then I p-punch a bag a lot, lift things of all kinds... I don't have a g-gym or anything, and I couldn't a-afford to get into one. I only grab whatever I can f-find and lift it.



I d-do the same with all the other furniture, not that there's a lot. Oh, I also lift my mother's c-car a bit sometimes. She doesn't use it m-much, though.

We have two questions left. Have you pulled any pranks before?

I-I'm not really the prankster type. But o-once, I wanted to be mean to Annie, s-so I grabbed her toothpaste a-and her shampoo when the bottle was nearly empty. Then I switched them around. I put the t-toothpaste in the shampoo bottle and then did the r-reverse. Her parents spent the next week wondering w-why she was using shampoo for toothpaste, because she didn't r-reverse them.



And finally, ever thought about growing your hair out?

Y-Yeah, a bit. But shorter hair is manlier. Long hair is for girls. There's no way I'd grow my hair out, i-it would be girly. ...A-Actually.. I can see a situation in which I-I'd do that, though. If I did grow it, I'd like if it looked like a lion's m-mane, right? That's badass. M-Maybe I'll do that... eventually.

Alright, that's enough now.

I-Is the checkup complete?

Yes. You can return to your vat now.

M-My what?

It's part of the process. These guys will escort you.



And that's it for him. Interview over. Any further questions will be declined. Log complete.