Part 16: Episode 16: I Can't Think of a Joke about Microscopes
Hey, do you guys like cutscenes? Cutscenes where everyone stands in a room talking? No? Too bad!Episode 16: I Can't Think of a Joke about Microscopes
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Last time, we hit the jackpot and made a grenade pistol. This time we're...
Hey, where are we going?
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I dunno, I thought you knew!
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What? Who said that?
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Oh, this'll go well.
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Like Maeda has any money.
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Okay, this shouldn't take long.
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We'll just drive halfway across the island.
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Besides my patience? This grenade gun is burning a hole in my pocket!
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Gross.
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Good God, I hope it's from Eve!
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See? Look at this place! Fucking tiny! And what kind of lab doesn't have giant, easily broken glass tubes everywhere?
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Maeda just kinda wandered over here and did a thing.
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Yeah, he actually just trails off there and fiddles with the microscope.
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Why, Aya, it's an FMV!
Take a look!
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This...
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is...
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not how microscopes work at all!
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Behold, a human cell.
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Take a gooooood look.
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Whoa, are...are those molecules? I think we zoomed-in too far. Back it up, Maeda.
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That is a mitochondria. I don't think that's how they actually look, but this is still more realistic than the T-Virus.
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I don't know why an organelle designed specifically to produce energy has grabby claws, but there ya go.
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Mitochondria are basically just reeeeeeally small piranhas, when you think about it.
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I like how Aya completely understood all that, even the cross fades. I expected a slightly different reaction.
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Sigh. Why won't game developers hire me to write for them?
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I mean, games would be way shorter, yeah. But there would be so much more suplexing. You don't even know.
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I woulda had Daniel running through Central Park, completely engulfed in flame, dropkicking through polar bears and punching Eve right in the goddamn face. All while completely on fire.
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Then, he'd grab Ben, and Aya would shoot a grenade at him. But the grenade is actually a big-ass water balloon, and puts out the fire.
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Daniel and Aya would high-five while Eve blows up, and the screen freeze-frames. Roll credits, play theme song. Then, they fly off in an airplane to go fight Albert Wesker in a volcano.
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Wait, what were we talking about?
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Jesus, look at all those words.
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Aya's completely drifted off again. Betcha she's thinking about playin' my super-awesome game.
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Jesus, I just noticed how short Aya is.
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Maeda does a thing: Part 2.
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I wonder what kind of settings you need to make the microscope dramatically zoom and pan to exactly what you want to see.
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Nope, just another FMV
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This time, we start right at the cell. Not entirely sure what all that flappy shit before was about.
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Zoom.
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Enhance.
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Everything looks to be in order here. A little less blue, but otherwise...
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Oh no! It's the deadly velocichondria!
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The nucleus writhes and pulses.
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This does something to the mitochondria.
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And they just drift off, lifelessly.
Music - Theme of Aya
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Even Aya's cells carry guns at all times?
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Here we go.
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Is Aya wondering if she's still human after seeing this new evidence?
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Or is she just super bored and thinking about shooting rat monsters?
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SLAM
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Aya and Daniel spring into action, firing blindly in the direction of the loud noise until their guns run dry.
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Upon seeing who it is, they reload and shoot some more.
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Nah, they actually just put their guns away without firing a shot.
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I bet he was just standing in the hallway for the last ten minutes, waiting to make a dramatic entrance. Probably even waved to Aya and the gang as they walked by.
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I like how Daniel spends most of this cutscene absently glancing around the room.
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See?
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Busted
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DO YOU?!
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Daniel spots something on the computer monitor. Is Dr. Klamp running Limewire?!
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Whoa, that's...Dr. Klamp, why don't you have a seat over there?
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Klamp runs over and clicks out of whatever Daniel was just looking at. I managed to miss this but still catch a slight dimming from the camera angle changing. Neat.
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Haha, Aya's just like "Welp."
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Reluctantly, Daniel releases the diabolical Doctor Klamp.
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Daniel is the first to storm out.
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Can't you just feel the sarcasm?
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Maeda just kind of awkwardly shuffles out.
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![:3:](../Smilies/emot-3.gif)
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That sounds ominous. Should we pop back in a see what's up with that?
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Nope!