Part 16: Hard Time Update 5: Free At Last
Hard Time Update 5: Free At Last
Welcome back. Last time, we had the usual goofy shenanigans before a sudden dose of
![:smith:](../Smilies/emot-smith.gif)
The phone rings again.
![](1-capture_31032010_131645.jpg)
![](2-capture_31032010_131651.jpg)
Awesome! Why aren't there more telemarketers who give you money for picking up the phone?
![](3-capture_31032010_131742.jpg)
Gee, wonder how that happened.
![](4-capture_31032010_131753.jpg)
Another new guard. They must get their wardens the same place the Imperial Guard gets their recruits.
![](5-capture_31032010_131801.jpg)
Yep, since we haven't really exercised at all since we got to prison, we are sadly no longer ripped. We get an increase in strength from being fat but a decrease in agility. Which I cheat back up anyways.
![](6-capture_31032010_131809.jpg)
I should really just get a shirt saying "Yes, I killed that guy."
![](7-capture_31032010_131833.jpg)
Still getting respect from murdering guards, though.
![](8-capture_31032010_131839.jpg)
God DAMN I'm cool.
![](9-capture_31032010_132342.jpg)
It's a long, sad road from shower beer to shower heroin.
![](10-capture_31032010_132622.jpg)
Snidely confronts us with evidence of murder. We kill him. This means we also have to kill the guard in the room with him with our trusty push broom.
![](11-capture_31032010_132846.jpg)
I guess the force of my attack...
![](12-capture_31032010_132851.jpg)
swept him off his feet.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
![](13-capture_31032010_132911.jpg)
Damn, that was fast.
![](14-capture_31032010_132913.jpg)
Try asking Muscles von Murder in the picture with him. Y'know, cause I totally didn't murder all the witnesses again.
![](15-capture_31032010_132938.jpg)
![:wtc:](../Smilies/emot-wtc.gif)
![](16-capture_31032010_133044.jpg)
Um. What?
![](17-capture_31032010_133051.jpg)
What is this, Fight Club? Have I really been Edward Norton all this time? I'm not paying you to beat me!
![](18-capture_31032010_133058.jpg)
No I wouldn't!
![](19-capture_31032010_133141.jpg)
I try to pump some iron to get my muscles back, but nothing happens.
![](20-capture_31032010_133240.jpg)
Wow. He's never going to live that name down.
![](21-capture_31032010_133317.jpg)
Oh yeah, MDickie mirrored the textures on each arm.
![:effort:](../Smilies/emot-effort.gif)
![](22-capture_31032010_133419.jpg)
It's time to beat the crap out of the ex-warden who shot me way back when.
![](23-capture_31032010_133427.jpg)
Slamming his head repeatedly into the wall is immensely entertaining.
![](24-capture_31032010_133441.jpg)
As is kneeing his nose out the back of his head.
![](25-capture_31032010_133459.jpg)
I...why the fuck do you have a beach ball?
We murder the ex-warden and move on.
![](26-capture_31032010_133610.jpg)
Oh wow, this is a rarity. Someone survived their sentence!
![](27-capture_31032010_133612.jpg)
Oh, no wonder. At least he wasn't in for Vandalism, or he'd be in until he was old and gray.
![](28-capture_31032010_133632.jpg)
A warden chews us out yet again for murder, while one of the Muslim gang members skulks. Yes, that's supposed to be a turban.
![](29-capture_31032010_133641.jpg)
for a terrorist attack! All inmates should find a safe place to hide until the threat has been removed...
Hell yes! I was wondering when this was gonna happen! Why they're targeting a prison? Who knows? All I know is it means EXPLOSIONS.
![](30-capture_31032010_133731.jpg)
Man, even when I'm fat I don't give a fuck.
![](31-capture_31032010_133739.jpg)
Uh oh. Because I don't like mullets, the Warden in the background is coming for us.
![](32-capture_31032010_133745.jpg)
What's that? You're reducing my sentence? I get out tomorrow? Why thank you!
Suddenly
![](33-capture_31032010_133820.jpg)
MOTHERFUCKING EXPLOSIONS
![](34-capture_31032010_133821.jpg)
PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND SCREAMING
![](35-capture_31032010_133824.jpg)
FEET BEING BLOWN OFF
![](36-capture_31032010_133826.jpg)
EN SABAH NUR NOT GIVING A FUCK
And as suddenly as it started, the attack stops. That's it.
As we get up, we're suddenly apprehended for no reason.
![](37-capture_31032010_133850.jpg)
Oh bullshit!
![](38-capture_31032010_133908.jpg)
HE HAS SNIDELY AS THE PROSECUTOR!
![](39-capture_31032010_133914.jpg)
![](40-capture_31032010_133927.jpg)
![:smug:](../Smilies/emot-smug.gif)
![](41-capture_31032010_133930.jpg)
"Never mind the gang tattoos and the propensity for absurd levels of violence."
![](42-capture_31032010_133932.jpg)
![:iceburn:](../Smilies/emot-iceburn.gif)
![](43-capture_31032010_134021.jpg)
Hold on just one moment.
![](44-capture_31032010_134028.jpg)
I AM THE KING AROUND HERE. GET USED TO THE TASTE OF MY FURY.
![](45-capture_31032010_134032.jpg)
Wow. I murder the two new guys to teach them a lesson.
![](46-capture_31032010_134058.jpg)
Yeah, people will attack you for anything.
![](47-capture_31032010_134126.jpg)
Suddenly, the spirit of the prison shaves us bald and takes us to trial for killing the two new inmates.
![](48-capture_31032010_134143.jpg)
![](49-capture_31032010_134147.jpg)
Granted, I was the one who MADE it anarchy, but still.
![](50-capture_31032010_134151.jpg)
![](51-capture_31032010_134152.jpg)
![](52-capture_31032010_134156.jpg)
Oh what.
![](53-capture_31032010_134200.jpg)
![](54-capture_31032010_134202.jpg)
![](55-capture_31032010_134208.jpg)
I'm sorry, did you say "You're free to leave? Also you now have diplomatic immunity to everything forever?" You're too kind, Your Honor.
![](56-capture_31032010_134238.jpg)
![](57-capture_31032010_134241.jpg)
YES GET ME OUT OF THIS SHITTY GAME SO I CAN FINISH THE OTHER SHITTY GAME
![](58-capture_31032010_134243.jpg)
![](59-capture_31032010_134253.jpg)
We're put outside, and the title music starts playing again. We slow-mo walk to the gate while a 'where are they now?' thing plays. It'd be more effective if I knew who half of these people were. I'm pretty sure I killed at least one.
![](60-capture_31032010_134259.jpg)
job and never committed another crime...
![:geno:](../Smilies/emot-geno.gif)
![](61-capture_31032010_134304.jpg)
![:911:](../Smilies/emot-911.gif)
![](62-capture_31032010_134311.jpg)
without equipment and fell to his death...
![:black101:](../Smilies/emot-black101.gif)
![](63-capture_31032010_134316.jpg)
the outside and commited suicide a month after his release...
![:smith:](../Smilies/emot-smith.gif)
![](64-capture_31032010_134322.jpg)
![:drugnerd:](../Smilies/emot-drugnerd.gif)
![](65-capture_31032010_134328.jpg)
![:laugh:](../Smilies/emot-laugh.gif)
![](66-capture_31032010_134333.jpg)
![:mason:](../Smilies/emot-mason.gif)
![](67-capture_31032010_134339.jpg)
deteriorate and he went blind within a few years...
![:saddowns:](../Smilies/emot-saddowns.gif)
![](68-capture_31032010_134345.jpg)
![:gay:](../Smilies/emot-gay.gif)
![](69-capture_31032010_134351.jpg)
![:dealwithit:](../Smilies/emot-dealwithit.jpg)
![](70-capture_31032010_134405.jpg)
It shows. It really, really shows.
![](71-capture_31032010_134417.jpg)
![:smug:](../Smilies/emot-smug.gif)
![:smug:](../Smilies/emot-smug.gif)
![:smug:](../Smilies/emot-smug.gif)
![](72-capture_31032010_134429.jpg)
![:smug:](../Smilies/emot-smug.gif)
That's it. We're free. We're done with Hard Time. There may be a few things I didn't show off, but eat me. We've got some more history to rape. Catch you next time, with our regularly scheduled Let's Play.
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