Introduction

I heard about this game, but missed it.
Dark Messiah of Might and Magic is a 2006 'first person slasher' - one of the rare games that puts you in first person mode with a strong emphasis on melee combat. The game itself is set in the 'new' Might and Magic cosmology, which changed radically after Might and Magic 5. Dark Messiah itself is set a short time after the events of Heroes of Might and Magic 5, which is referenced in the game itself as 'Queen Isabel's War'.

None of this is really required to appreciate the game - as a matter of fact, you're probably better off if you ignore it completely. The story in Dark Messiah is clearly an afterthought despite being a pretty major arc in the overall story told by Heroes 5. The dialog is cheesy, the voice actors sound like they're being tutored in William Shatner's Overacting Master Class, and the story itself comes in such small spurts that you can forget what the hell you were doing sometimes. To boot, the game ran pretty badly back in the day, and still can act up pretty hard, depending on your system. There's actually a ten page TweakGuides guide on how to get around the game's rampant stuttering and frame dips. Figuring out how to Fraps this bad boy was not a walk in the park!

So why bother playing it?
Well, these easily pannable traits gave Dark Messiah some pretty bad reviews back in the day, and as a result most of you probably skipped over this game! I think that's a real shame, because while it's not a masterpiece, there's some awesome things done right in Dark Messiah. It's fun, and I'd like to show it off.

So how's this going to work?
I'll be playing the single-player game on the hardest difficulty - Hardcore - and my brother from another mother TheLastRoboKy will be joining me for after-action commentary.

Didn't this game have some weird multiplayer?
It did! It has much the same problems as the single player does in that it has some interesting ideas going on but it utterly fails to tie it all together. I have no current plans to show off the multiplayer because it was stone cold dead less than 6 months after the game's launch. I could be persuaded otherwise if enough goons get together to hold a few games. Since Dark Messiah is only 10 bucks on Steam this might be possible depending on how many people get excited. We'll see.

Can I get in on this any other way?
You can! First off, full disclosure: I played this game to death when it came out and I can beat the game without ever dying on Hardcore quite easily, excepting a stupid bug or a stutter making me fall off a cliff. This means that the game could get somewhat bland if it's not spiced up. Therefore, I will be accepting challenges to make the game more interesting. The first handful of episodes have already been recorded, but I'll be taking the challenges later on. A caveat: If your challenge would make the game boring, repetitive, or stupid, I won't accept it. So don't tell me to beat a level never kicking anyone - I've tried it, it's retarded, and it's not going to happen.

We also have room for a guest commentator in each episode, though you must have Audacity and Skype to join in.

Are there any thread rules to note?
While this game's writing is pretty terrible, it manages one pretty awesome turnabout roughly halfway through the game. The turnabout itself is fairly obvious if you're paying close attention, but to maximize the impact of the game's one master stroke ~~no spoilers whatsoever until I say otherwise~~(we're there! Episode 7 has the game's one good kick in the ass). Not even in tags. Hinting at it counts. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, the answer to your guess is always yes. Don't freaking do it. This policy will be changed after the big reveal.

Videos

Episode 1: Prologue, Chapter 1 - One is also the loneliest number	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 2: Chapter 2 - LIGHT FIXTURES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 3: Chapter 3 - All you had to do was follow the damn ghoul, Sareth!	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 4: Chapter 4 - THE LOVE SHIP	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 5: Chapter 5.1 - Indiana Jones is preparing a lawsuit	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 6: Chapter 5.2 - Sareth the Sandbagger	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 7: Chapter 6 - Is THAT what I've been doing to people?!	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 8: Chapter 7 - Roboky has had it up to HERE with your damn dragons!	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 9: Chapter 8 - All-Bones Jones and other things Coolguy doesn't want to think about.	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 10 - Chapter 9: <TehWarsmith> Coolguy canon is the best canon.	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Episode 11 - Epilogue: Going out quietly is overrated.	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy

Multiplayer update: Team Deathmatch - Playing with fire(balls)

Coolguy's view (human priestess)	YouTube	Non-Polsy
Torlon's view (undead priestess)	YouTube	Non-Polsy

Multiplayer update: Crusade

TheLastRoboKy's view (Undead Archer)	YouTube	Non-Polsy
Coolguy's view (Undead Warrior - mostly)	YouTube	Non-Polsy	blip.tv	Non-Polsy
Torlon's View (Undead Mage)	YouTube	Non-Polsy