Introduction
Before anyone asks, yes, I got this cleared with slowbeef beforehand. My argument was that this game is unrecognizable as anything coherent, let alone a Pokemon game.I was poking around the internet, as many innocent goons are prone to doing, and lo and behold. Of all places, an aspergers and autism forum (I found the link on TvTropes) had a fascinating post about bootleg Pokemon games. Here's what a guy by the name of ShenLong has to say:
ShenLong posted:
Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal is a Vietnamese-to English translated version of Crystal that was sold as a bootleg in markets accross Vietnam in early 2001. Based on all of the place names and the names of the characters, it is most likely that this is a translation of the Chinese version of Crystal(which itself is an unofficial translation of the Japanese version, for China doesn't have official Pokemon games, just Pokemon paraphernalia and media). So, in essence, this game has undergone three language conversions. What you get is a shoggoth of mistranslation.
Well said. The game's text is somewhere between "pure gibberish" and "half-recognizable trainwreck". The first update should give you a sense of what kind of carnival of insanity we'll be in for.
Much as I'd love to just leave the intro post at that, this is a Pokemon game by technicality. And Pokemon games have a way of bringing out the worst in the goons. So let's establish some ground rules:
1: Nobody wants to hear about EVs, IVs, or your super awesome shiny Charizard you spent 40 hours poopsocking for. Look, a forum specifically for people with autism and aspergers was able to keep the discussion of this game civil, I expect the LP forum to be capable of the same.
Actually, that's basically it. Rule of thumb here, if your post is only going to make sense to people who have an in-depth knowledge of Pokemon game mechanics, just stuff it. Personal anecdotes are only welcome if they're funny or more noteworthy than just "I did something cool!" I will close this thread between updates if the readers prompt me. So if in doubt, shut up and just enjoy the engrish.
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1: Welcome to the world of Elf.
- Chapter 2: Now you become one of them.
- Chapter 3: I will be very rude to you!
- Chapter 4: Girl (Scouts) gone wild.
- Chapter 5: Who said exploding cows were a myth?
- Chapter 6: Elvis Lives.
- Chapter 7: Cultivated according to religious doctrine.
- Chapter 8: Sorry, keep your powder dry please.
- Chapter 9: Crasheriffic.
- Chapter 10: HerculesKabuTerrymon.
- Chapter 11: Ha! I am boring!
- Chapter 12: Let us do insincere things.
- Chapter 13: Shave the brow, stay at home idly.
- Chapter 14: Wulnut news coverage.
- Chapter 15: Cuddle Be Sleepy.
- Chapter 16: You can't throw the butt casually.
- Chapter 17: Calvin's Bicycle.
- Chapter 18: Many dictators fly from the earth.
- Chapter 19: Don't lick with mouth.
- Chapter 20: Terry!Stupid Game Fuck.
- Fan Art
- Cookbook of Horror