Part 11: We Also Have a Giant Hotel

Update 10: We Also Have a Giant Hotel

Greetings, people of the world! Can you see me from way up there? I still cannot believe that an Americano managed to stand on the moon! Even El Presidente has gotten into the mood, and has themed all of our tourist attractions after the moon. Moon “myths” are told at the native enclave, including “predictions” about mankind landing on its surface. The beach site is providing moon-patterned umbrellas, and the cabaret now features “Full Moon Fridays.” Juanito loves Fridays.

Much of my world news also concerns the United States. A “Tet Offensive” has made the Americanos very angry about having to think about Vietnam, and the new presidente Richard Nixon has entered the White House! Congratulations, Mr. Nixon! It seems you have learned well from Mr. Pizzaman’s example. I thought there was something in their constitution against foreigners becoming Presidente, but I must have been wrong. Unless the Mr. Nixon who won was the man who Adopted our citizen? If this is the case, Mr. Nixon, there is a dockworker in Florida you may want to meet.


The big news in Tropico has been all about the new hotel we started building in late ’67. Even El Presidente seemed surprised when he saw just how many scaffolds the builders needed to reach the top floors.


Also, other buildings were ordered constructed, such as a gourmet restaurant and a casino. When El Presidente found out that the people of the world demanded better tourism, he was, in his words, “pleasantly surprised.” It seems he was for once completely willing to build the newspaper and radio station, as he had realized even tourists like to keep up with the news sometimes. However, he must obey the will of the people, so now we have casinos and restaurants. Juanito hopes that the people of the world are happy with their decision!


By mid July of ’68, our brand new Hotel Paradise was open for business!


The hotel even features in-house attractions for those tourists who are too shy or too afraid of the rabid toucans to leave the building.


Have I mentioned yet how very large the hotel is?


In addition, to make sure the hotel is always fully staffed, El Presidente was kind enough to raise their wages by $2 per month.


In other news, Tropico received a very interesting visit at around the same time. It is not very often that we see two cargo ships come one right after the other. While we welcome the immigrants to our booming economy, we were unable to bring up enough exports to actually send anything with the ship.


Soon after the large hotel was built, a movie theater was commissioned downtown. While El Presidente had a wide variety of films to show, he decided to play patriotic movies produced locally.


Even the construction workers were eager to see people run around who were not really there! Some of the tourists who stopped by called the films “quaint.” I am not certain what this means, but I think it is a short way of saying “quality.” Thank you for appreciating our films, people of the world!


No sooner was our very large hotel completed, but it was packed full of wealthy foreigners!


I believe I have said the Hotel Paradise is very large, yes?


Sadly, the celebrations for the new hotel were disturbed by a report about our poor health care. Eli and Scalding Coffee had been saying for several years that they were no longer enough to serve all of Tropico, but now people were beginning to die once again.


In fact, for the traitorous Bunny of Doom, seeing people die was the very last straw.


Concerned about another hepatitis-based murder, El Presidente ordered a modern hospital to be built next to the movie theater. Sadly, it is still not finished as of this broadcast, but it should not take much longer.


What has been finished is the brand new casino! The main game is called “baccarat,” which I do not understand very well, but it is apparently very popular among the high-class gamblers.


Our generals seem to love the game, for example.



Today we have a very special guest. Mr. a dog has produced a very nice poster of El Presidente:



Mr. Pizzaman was very happy with the poster, and invited Mr. a dog to come to the island and get what he deserved.


$1000 in cash!


I hope this will please a dog.


The money was delivered personally to a dog in his new home.


When TNN came back to a dog a year later, we found that he had changed professions to be a native at our enclave. When asked what he did with the money, a dog explained that he lost it all gambling at the casino next door. I am sorry to hear this, a dog, but I suppose that is the way the world turns!

When Juanito was flipping through the big book of numbers to find something to do my second segment on, I suddenly realized that there was something I had not shown the world: the big book of numbers itself! So welcome to our newest segment:




The Economy papers are very important when it comes time to find out where all the money goes in Tropico. Or in the case of the income page, where it all comes from! You can see that the logging industry produces no money since the camp was destroyed four years ago, and the farming income is down because the cash crops are being sent to factories and the food crops are nearly all being used to feed our very large population. Why, more farms may be needed very soon!

Instead, the factory and tourism industries are the largest sources of money. Why, the profits from tourism are enough to cancel out the island expenses altogether!


El Presidente’s personal expenses come from paying for the edicts he has allowed and the commissioning of buildings. Other expenses are classified for Juanito, sadly.


Island expenses come from the maintenance of buildings and the paying of employees. These are conveniently divided into service, production, and tourism buildings so that El Presidente can see what Tropico has the most of.


The balance sheet is gathered by adding the profits and costs from each sector separately so El Presidente can see if any area is costing more than it is worth. The farming costs should really be added into the industry and general overhead sections, so it can be said that everything in Tropico is producing very much money! This is very good news!


There is also a space for how well our exports are doing. As you can see, the very largest exports are the spiced rum and the cigars.


We can also look at how much any export would be worth if we were able to export it. For instance, spiced rum is worth a good deal more than regular rum, which is worth far more than sugar. Cigars are worth even more than spiced rum (the price itself is on another page, but the number is over 5000), which is why the cigar factory makes so much money with so little tobacco.

By far, the most expensive thing Tropico can produce is fine jewelry, worth more than 10,000 for each 100 units, but alas, the island has no gold deposits. We must be content with $50,000 in annual exports.


Something which both the Communists and the Capitalists insist El Presidente keep track of is income disparity, or how much more the wealthy make over the poor. However, while the Capitalists love to see the number soar above 200%, it makes the Communists angry. Not so angry that they bother to say anything about it, but angry all the same. The Nationalists also wish to keep track of the average Caribbean pay, and get angry when Tropico’s pay is lower, as it makes Tropico look like a poor backwater. El Presidente and his morning swim in the treasury would disagree, but I suppose the Nationalists do not get to watch.


We also keep track of how many Tropicans are unemployed, although it is usually very low. Why, the number of unemployed citizens is coincidentally the same number of unemployed prisoners out by the docks!

The vote for this Very Special Broadcast shares much in common with the last.


We can focus even more on industry,


Add more media buildings for that increase in liberation,


Or you could go with a new option: special expansion! Tropico’s mine is very nearly depleted, and rather than build another nearby, El Presidente wishes to keep the tourists happy and eliminate mining entirely. However, we are still left with a very large and barren area. El Presidente believes it is the perfect spot for an army base and an airport, and perhaps some additional corn farms.

What do you think, people of the world?