Introduction

So what happens when you've got a game produced by Robert De Niro, a star studded cast of voices, an eccentric story and setting, and plenty of generic adventure game puzzles and they all get stirred into the same pot? You get 9: Last Resort (or just 'Nine' as it's called in the directory or 'LR' as it's called on the cd...it doesn't really know what to call itself but it's a game beyond names). A mixture of colorful sights, nerve-racking sounds, and more painful attempts at humor than you can shake a stick at. And this is just the type of game that needs to be shown off but never actually played (which was also the case when the game came out considering that no one actually played it). This was also the only title made by Tribeca Interactive, which is not to be confused with the other Tribeca game studio who made 3DO games.

And what's the story behind this wondrous piece of modern art? Well your globe trotting and very eccentric uncle, Thurston Last, has just kicked the bucket (probably due to mysterious and unforeseen circumstances, cause no one dies a normal death in adventure games) and has made it clear in his will that you, the player, will now be the owner of his fanciful resort...the Last resort (fucking puns in this game). But everything isn't okay in the art commune known as the Last Resort and it's up to you to make sure the world doesn't end or the music doesn't die or that common sense doesn't get sucked into a vacuum. Honestly I'm not sure what the negative repercussion for the game is outside of the world would be ruled by members of Aerosmith (which seems like the polar opposite plot of arcade classic Revolution X).

Also this LP will now include Bad Day on the Midway which is something akin to what you'd assume to see in some hellish nightmare. Distorted faces yelling at, pop art films gouging out your eyes, and circus music pummeling your ears. But it's not all bad, in fact it can be quite an amusing and eye opening experience to a particular market. Well I assume it's easily marketable to fans of The Residents and to understand them is a bit difficult. They are more or less an art collective that has been around for nearly 30 years and has managed to maintain a creative edge (that I don't understand) while developing a mythos behind their odd image. But this particular game is a rather odd series of events centered around a very odd circus, and well...there's a mystery that will be revealed (kind of) at the end of this video. Also while the game itself isn't terribly long, it did manage to have some measure of replay value in the way that NPCs are met and when and where. But whether or not I continue this, along with 9: Last Resort is up to you the viewer; so here is the first video for Bad Day on the Midway.




Isadora (as voiced by the talented and heavily modified actress, singer, song writer Cher) is one of the first zany character we run into as she runs the save system in 9. She also appears in normal robotic fortune teller fashion via a fortune telling machine that will require us to find some coins to operate. For now though let's just watch the creepy, jabbering robot lady and see how easy it is to picture Cher in her place.


Salty (as voiced by the Belushi that no one enjoys unless they are mentally incapacitated) is the supposed caretaker of the resort and supposedly the only entity ballsy enough to continue walking through the resort with all the evil nonsense going on. He will also 'help' us sometimes by yelling at us if we wait around for too long, so I'll do my best to not allow that to happen cause he's never helpful.


The Toxic Twins (as voiced by Steven Tyler and Joe Perry's wicked awesome guitar skills) are the villains of the game though they never do anything directly evil to us. Well they still some shit at times and they menace us with words, but otherwise they just float and spin around. Really that sounds like a normal live Aerosmith performance to me, except there's no mic stand covered in colorful bandannas.


Thurston Last (as voiced by recent handicap-able actor Christopher Reeves) is the mysterious and eccentric uncle who has willed to us this infernal death trap of art and music. Since he is no longer alive though we won't be getting any straight visits from him, instead we'll be hearing his voice directing us and making a number of odd, 'deep' comments throughout the course of the game. Also we'll grow to feel very sorry for Christopher Reeves since this was probably very soon to when he had that horrible horse accident.


Aura (as voiced by gay and lesbian rights activist and actress Ellen Degeneres) is an odd octopus currently residing in the throne room of the Last Resort. She gives out a few cryptic clues and talks to us in the throne room, but otherwise she just kinda sits there and remains a very odd set piece for the game. She also says incredibly stupid things like 'Some wheel, some fortune...' and I assume it's meant to be a joke, but it makes me die a bit on the inside.


9: Last Resort-Part 1: Welcome to your brand new resort-Blip Youtube
9: Last Resort-Part 2: Steven Tyler steals a vacuum tube-Blip Youtube
9: Last Resort-Part 3: Slot cars are perfect for adventure games-Blip Youtube
9: Last Resort-Part 4: Down-stroy them evil Babylon twins-Blip Youtube
9: Last Resort-Part 5: The end justifies the means-Blip Youtube

Bad Day on the Midway-Part 1:Blip Youtube
Bad Day on the Midway-Part 2:Blip Youtube
Bad Day on the Midway-Part 3:Blip Youtube
Bad Day on the Midway-Part 4:Blip Youtube
Bad Day on the Midway-Part 5:Blip Youtube