Part 10: Midnight Therapy
Midnight TherapyWelcome back! Last time on ATOM, we started a bunch of sidequests to grind for a secret item that would let us enter Kraznosnamenny the cool way instead of paying bribes. Today we're going to check out Sasha's stash at night.

This is what happens at night round the stash. Fortunately, no one hears Bear screaming about drugs.






Remember when I said it was a good idea to study the crime slang book?

It's better than "homie" I guess. It's completely different than the vaguely Ebonics stuff we were spewing in the factory. Consistency? What's that?

















Oh, goddamn, more text?




Remember how we talked about Prokhanov and how everything in this game was a conspiracy?





We immediately call him on his dumb shit.








This is true, as we will see.









Fortunately for everyone involved there are no encounters with child soldiers.






I go for the comedy option.










TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Oh man! A witness to our lynching!
: I'm a card-carrying criminal, punk! Who the fuck are you?
: Oh shit! He has a crime card? Did Beard send you?
: Hell yea he did. Give me that prisoner guy, I want to interrogate him.
: Awww, mannnnn! Fiiiine! Dickweed.
: Thank you for saving me! Those bandits tried to kill me and rob me for no reason!
: Bullshit.
: Ok, I'll tell you the truth! I drove a truck, yes, but it was a slave truck! I didn't figure it out till later, then I tried to quit so they tried to kill me! All cuz I told that Beard dude! I've been... a poopy morally bankrupt man!
: Well, yes. Where's this Beard fucker?
: There, up north. But be careful! He's a treacherous fucker!

I haven't talked about party members much. The first option is to check their health points and feed them drugs if they're low. The second sets the AI tactics for things like how much friendly fire to tolerate and whether to engage at all. I mentioned it briefly, but all party members are AI controlled by the same shitty AI we've been abusing to sword people and avoid damage. You can give them commands in combat, but it's frustrating, and it's one of the reasons the survival difficulty playthroughs are usually solo. The third option is your standard plot reminder (in this case, Fidel tells us to go to bunker 317), and we'll interrogate Fidel about his life story another day.

The stash isn't impressive, but we'll need the booze later until I sell it all this update

More bandits!

Party members will also spout off these terrible lines.

On the plus side, Fidel is semi-decent with pistols now.










We're going to get straight to the point, this LP is wordy enough as is and so many of the words are uninteresting.

What I want to know is why? The terrain of this area is completely flat and the fortress has like five people. Why not go around?

Ok, I like that simile.





Yea, I wonder why that truck driver didn't go to the police?



TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Do you have any papers?
: Uh... I have this old newspaper, um, "Elvis caught making out with aliens in pu-"
: Sweet! I can use it to roll weeeeed! As supreme commander of this fortress, come on in!
: If you're the commander, you should know that Beard guy is cooperating with slavers.
: I'm gonna need evidence. But not too much evidence, because I can have him hanged whenever. Why is everyone slandering each other?
So right now we only want to talk to Beard.






Subtlety? What's that?










This is total horseshit.






TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Beard, right? Are you a slaving fuck?
: Y- I mean, no! Slavery is VERY BAD! You should go to this obvious trap location to meet my abolitionist friends, who I am totally working with!

We're not going to Rest Stop 10. That is an extremely difficult fight where the enemy ambushes us with guns and a terrain advantage, and if we do it now Fidel is probably going to get killed. Incidentally, claiming to want to join the slavers gets you ambushed at Rest Stop 10 anyway.

We swing by Otradnoye to give this guy a beer. He gives us three rubles. The tavern sells beer for 14. I only do this because we got the beer off some bandits.

No, it's time to grind random ass encounters like this one! The "joke" is that the guy says he cut off his index finger, but taped it with scotch tape instead.


Scotch tape isn't even an item you can find normally! There's blue electrical tape, but that's about it!
Whatever. This isn't funny. Highlight reel!

Assholes in Kraznoz!

Sidequests we can't do for a while yet!

Weapon upgrade!

Buying this book for free pistol ranks from Sasha!

Decapitating bandits!

Traders getting some good shit (we can't buy). Always hit these guys up, they're cheaper than Kraznoz and might randomly generate good stuff you want.

More fucking bandits!

Thugs in a cave spawned on a random encounter map!

Unfounded allegations! It's a reference to another character with, uh, a unique questline

Unfunny jokes about an evil doctor who promises to respec people's stats!

Stupid meta RPG "humor!"

A fortune teller...

...who sells condoms????

More murder!

Blowing all of our money to get this Cossack Sword! Seriously, this thing is awesome and on my last playthrough I took it to endgame. There is one more melee weapon that nominally does more damage, but it requires fuel and more AP to use and this is sufficient to one-shot the final boss and pretty much everything in the game from this moment on.

Look at this shit! Anyway, we're going to end our montage here and demonstrate how to enter Kraznoznamenny...the COOL way.

You see, we're kind of bribing the guard. See how we have 90 cigarettes? We didn't suddenly get transported into Stygian to pay Marino the cornuto fan, we are going to bribe the guard with all 90 of these cigarettes.

The thing with cigarettes is that:
1) They deal 1 point of damage when used, and have a 30% chance to lower Endurance by 1, which lowers HP further.
2) Using them on NPCs is considered a helpful medicinal action, so we will never draw aggro. Fidel is just going to stand here and watch as we hand this guy cigarette after cigarette and he stuffs them all in his mouth faster than Homer Simpson shoveling donuts. Characters even have a special smoking animation, so I can only assume this was intended.

As you can see, it took us 60 cigarettes to get him down to the "almost dead" state. Yes, it is more expensive to do this than pay the 1000 ruble bribe, and all that grinding was to find either tobacco or cigarettes so we could stuff them in this guy's fat face.

The dumbass is still thanking us as the turbo lung cancer claims his life and he explodes into blood everywhere.

The cool thing about this is that not only did we eliminate this corrupt bribe-seeking fucker with absolutely no consequences whatsoever, but we get to grab his gear which is several tiers above what we're allowed to buy or encounter right now. Bear grabs the gun, that's an AK74U which we won't be seeing for a long time, and I put the armor on Fidel because his shitty dex means he won't lose action points. It's actually profitable!

Unfortunately the gate is too hard for us to open, but I saved all my skill points from leveling in a futile attempt to prevent this jerk from level scaling with us, so after a quick point allocation...

We're in! Praise Philip Morris, we're in! Let's check out some of the shops...

Really, ATOM? Really?

I guess we're going there.




WHY IS THIS HERE! He's a bookseller, presumably he's giving us the book. We know he's talking, because the game shows us green text for dialog and his portrait to indicate the speaker. Stop it!



It was discussed in the thread, but this is apparently a crazy translation that adds a sci-fi framing story?











See, this is...actually funny! We have to lure these crazy book hating bastards out with the complete works of Lenin. I think it actually works!


TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Oy vey! It is a thing I say because I am Jewish! Also I'm super lonely and need someone to talk to!
: I've got a check for a copy of Lord of the Rings?
: Oh, the batshit translation! Sure! Happy to spread culture across the land!
: Alright, I'm off.
: Wait just a minute! I have a quest for you! These crazy book burners are running around attacking people who have books, and they're ruining my business. Here, take all these Lenin books, and then kill them all when they attack you!
: Sure, why not.
There is one last piece of business we have to take care of before I wrap up this update.

The game keeps track of a lot of oddball statistics. We have made 102 critical strikes, apparently.

Unfortunately, Bear is still a virgin. Let's fix that.

This hospital lady looks kind of hot, and also Bear is riding high on the confidence from smoking that guard jackass and getting away with it.




Well, this is not going well for our horny hero!








This is a lot farther than I usually get, tbh.

To the Bioware Zone!

Fidel has just been standing here awkwardly this whole time while we've hit on this chick with the time tested method of "damn, I like books too, wanna... fuck?" and now offers some words of advice. He's no slouch with the ladies either!




Fidel is content to awkwardly stand outside while we follow this lady into the bathroom, presumably to hear her thoughts on Moby Dick and the harpooning scene.

Yea, no, we're doin it.




I see that Brothers Karamazov reference, game! I believe 2 is a reference to Isaac Babel, and not sure about the others.

If we had purchased a condom, we'd have the option [Condom] [Discuss nuances of literature]. As it stands, the developers apparently planned to implement STDs you'd have to cure but never got around to it. Really.

Then the camera zooms out because they sure as fuck didn't go to Bioware levels of horny and animate every model, and we sit here for a minute while alternating exclamations of vaguely sexual content occur under the roof. It's kind of funny for the first 10 seconds, and then it becomes tedious. But hey, our sexual partner count is raised to 1!




And...that's all we can do with Zhanna here. She'll answer some questions about her life, and she's happier to see us after we harpooned her white whale, but she doesn't become like a recurring love interest or anything. Still counts for the achievement, though!
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Hey lady. Shit, think of a good line, think of a good line... Reading anything interesting?
: Nope, just, uh, Telemachus Sneezed. Do you have an appointment?
: Uh, no, but...it is a shame to leave a beautiful woman so bored at work. I'd love to discuss Telemachus Sneezed, you know, because I like books. Maybe we could...discuss literature some time?
: There's a bathroom over there. I'm Zhanna. Wanna be the Hank Rearden to my Dagny Taggart?
: AND THEN THEY FUCKED! Trust me, I know all about impressing women with books!
: God damn this is awkward. Do I just stand here? Really? Come on, man!
: Holy shit, that worked!
: I guess that counts as a romance arc! Back to work!

She's never mentioned again.
Anyway, moving on from Zhanna and our exciting adventures in uncreative innuendo, we've got a fair bit going on from the last update. Remember when I was discussing Prokhanov and how he was kind of doing the Russian conspiracy thing before Pizzagate and QAnon exploded in the states? Well, we have a massive explosion in ongoing conspiracies just from picking up sidequests! In no particular order, we have:
1) ATOM itself, the very first conspiracy of the game. So far it's just our player character, Alexander, and Fidel, and they're not very good at covering their tracks - but they operate undercover with agents like Fidel and small military strike forces like Morozov's expedition.
2) Dan's bandits and their plan to become official forces of Kraznoznamenny, which is really just part of Dan's plan to make himself king of Dantopia. There is a LOT of bullshit going on in Kraznoznamenny, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. It's not really clear how much this is actually a conspiracy, seeing as Kosoy shoots off his mouth about their plans to become a state, but we'll come back to this one.
3) The slavers who are working with elements in the Peregon military, namely Beard, to kidnap and sell people and who are running a fairly extensive operation. There's a lot more to this we haven't seen.
4) The incredibly suspicious "Mycelium" scientific organization, whose representative was interested in Bear and Fidel immediately and felt the need to tell us the appellation of "Mushroom Cult" is incorrect. Given how much mushroom related bullshit we've run into lately, there's probably more to those guys than that one weirdo Igor.
5) The criminals in Kraznoznamenny literally making crook cards to identify thieves, openly and without consequences.
Those are just the big ones. There are a lot of smaller ones that are implied, like whoever is watching Abraham's store and alerting the book burners, the tinfoil hat organization that's sending out legions of cultists to attack people, and a fair few we haven't met yet. It's all compounded by every law enforcement official and leader being corrupt (Beard, the Kraznoznamenny militia, Dan's bandits), incompetent (the Border Guard commander, Kovalev), all of the leaders being isolated from their people (Kovalev's isolated hut, Dan's isolated shack, the bunker the quest giver mentioned that all the Kraznoznamenny leaders hide out in), and the end result is something that looks a lot like the QAnon worldview...which is kind of correct for 90s Russia! I need to find my copy of Winter is Coming, but Kasparov notes that people in Russia stopped believing in democracy post USSR because they never truly got it. The elites looted everything. It's hard to dismiss this all as simply a conspiratorial mindset when so many of Putin's opponents get obviously assassinated, or when Putin panicks and throws Navalny in jail for revealing how much money Putin stole. (The developers will scrupulously remind interlocutors that ATOM RPG bears no resemblance to real events). It's not even like corruption in the Russian government is something new, the Tsars looted the country for decades.
Now, the game does have occasional moments that push against the idea that everything is driven by conspiracies, such as the Roaring Forest just being mutant bugs instead of ancient Soviet machinery or a legion of aliens or whatever, but by and large it's conspiracies all the way down.
Keep this in mind as we progress through the game.