Introduction
Hey, everyone! This is the third LP in a series - both the first (Let’s Play Advance Wars) and the second (Let’s Play Advance Wars 2) can be read on the archive, which should give you an idea of how I play Advance Wars. The primary thing you ought to know is that I play the games whilst trying to minimise casualties, similar to Fire Emblem, as I have named and characterised every single generic soldier I deploy.The other important thing to note is that the player character from the first game, named ‘my dude’, has continued to reappear throughout the games. As of the end of Let’s Play Advance Wars 2, he’s now married to Nell, and one of the lead strategists of the Allied Nations. This LP can be enjoyed even without having read the previous ones, but to see where all of these characters came from and how they’ve grown over the years, please do check out the previous LPs.
Alright, that’s all. Updates are every Friday, and I’ll update you if the schedule ever changes, and each update contains a link at the end providing a bit of extra characterisation and content for the generic soldiers. Think Fire Emblem’s support conversations. Please enjoy!
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Part 0 - "Contents"
The room is filled with a quiet buzz of chatter as Nell, and many other heads of state, gather to discuss the coming problem; the return of Black Hole, so swiftly after their previous defeat. As the clock reaches nine, Nell clears her throat and organises some files.
“...Not here yet.” she mutters to herself, sighing. “I don’t know why I’m surprised. Anyway, welcome, everyone. I think we’re all in agreement that Black Hole needs to be swiftly done away with.”
“Of course.” another woman says, adjusting her glasses. “Question is, Commander Nell, can we afford to send any of our troops and COs over? I know you suggested sending the Orange Star 11th Division, but we’d need someone to lead them. We can’t really spare any of our COs right now.”
“Not to mention that mobilising all those troops and getting them to Omega Land would be an expensive operation. Our military budget’s stretched thin as it is.”
Nell shakes her head. “We have to do something, and quickly. The 11th Division contains some of Orange Star’s finest soldiers - they’ve fought Black Hole before.”
“Pardon my brusqueness, but you’re not listening to us, Commander Nell.” a man says from across the table. Nell gives him a venomous glare, but he presses on, unabashed. “Don’t you think it’s possible that you’re overreacting to this threat because your sister is out there currently?”
“I…” Nell says. “No. Even if it weren’t Rachel out there, I’d still want to send backup. Orange Star’s territory in Omega Land is vital, and Black Hole is dangerous when left unchecked. I can assure you, if we don’t act quickly, Macro Land will be next.”
“I’m inclined to agree. I’ve seen firsthand what Black Hole are capable of. I just wonder who’s in control now. You think it’s Hawke?”
“It must be. I’m still lacking intelligence, though.” Nell replies. “So, those in favour of sending the 11th Division to Omega Land?”
There’s a smattering of discussion, but eventually, more than half the table raise their hands in agreement. Nell nods and takes a note.
“Another question, Commander Nell.” says a woman. “Which CO are you thinking of sending with the 11th Division?”
“For now, nobody. Once they’re available, I’ll send a few of our top COs.” Nell replies. “It shouldn’t be long, and in the meantime, there’s someone else I can send.”
“You mean… him? Really?”
“Really.” Nell says, raising an eyebrow. “Got a problem with that?”
“No, ma’am!” comes the reply from in unison.
The door to the meeting room crashes open, revealing a young man wearing a black, sweeping longcoat emblazoned with a red star on the right shoulder, listening to eurobeat music blasting through his headphones and trying to drink a scalding coffee from a takeaway cup. Everyone in the room turns to face him, and as he sips his coffee, some of it dripping down his top, he gives them an awkward wave.
“Uh, hey. Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“Commander my dude.” Nell says, giving him a wry smile. “Black Hole’s back. Want to have another crack at them?”
My dude’s eyes light up. “Oh, finally, something interesting is happening!”
***
The Allied Nations: Soldier Overview
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Arc 1: The Occupational Hazards Of Being Rachel's Brother-In-Law
Chapter 1 (Battle) - Dear Diary, My Sister-In-Law Doesn't Like Me
Chapter 2 (Intermission) - Reunion in Omega Land
Chapter 3 (Battle) - The Man With No Goddamn Medium Tanks
Chapter 4 (Intermission) - Overflowing Confidence
Chapter 5 (Battle) - And Here’s Why My Dude Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Call Airstrikes
Chapter 6 (Intermission) - The Imbalance Of Time
Chapter 7 (Battle) - Finally, Some Good Fucking Selena
Chapter 8 (Intermission) - The Mercenaries Meet Again
Chapter 9 (Battle) - Fuck Fog And Everyone Who Likes It
Chapter 10 (Intermission) - In Solemn Service
Chapter 11 (Battle) - Bombers Are The Reason I Get Up In The Morning
Chapter 12 (Intermission) - Tell Me Honestly
Chapter 13 (Battle) - The Most Irritating Chip Damage Ever Taken
Chapter 14 (Intermission) - The Impenetrable
Chapter 15 (Battle) - The Black Arc Was Probably A Waste Of Money
Chapter 16 (Intermission) - Glorious Victory
Arc 2: Bigger Tanks And Fierce Rivals
Chapter 17 (Battle) - Kindle’s Guide To Not Giving A Shit About Hiding Intel
Chapter 18 (Intermission) - On The Cards
Chapter 19 (Battle) - Just Fucking Book It
Chapter 20 (Intermission) - A Life Apart
Chapter 21 (Battle) - The Subtle Art Of The Surprise Anti-Air
Chapter 22 (Intermission) - Sleepless Night
Chapter 23 (Battle) - Apply Tanks To Burned Area
Chapter 24 (Intermission) - Yellow Reunion
Chapter 25 (Battle) - My Dude Vs. Rose Kuroda
Chapter 26 (Intermission) - The Measure Of A Man
Chapter 27 (Intermission) - An Allied Nations Christmas
Chapter 28 (Intermission) - Back To Our Regularly Scheduled War
Chapter 29 (Battle) - There Is An Excess Of Tanks In This Area
Chapter 30 (Intermission) - Think Before You Speak
Chapter 31 (Battle) - Just Let Me Have The God Damned Airport
Chapter 32 (Intermission) - Surpassing All Expectations
Chapter 33 (Battle) - Three Useful Bombs And Six Unnecessary Ones
Chapter 34 (Intermission) - The Bet
Chapter 35 (Battle) - Return Of The Tankslayer
Chapter 36 (Intermission) - By The Goddess’ Will
Chapter 37 (Battle) - The Mask Cracks
Chapter 38 (Intermission) - Race For The Title
Arc 3: On The Wrong Side Of History
Chapter 39 (Battle) - I’m Confiscating Your CO Meter, Kindle
Chapter 40 (Intermission) - A Direct Discussion
Chapter 41 (Battle) - An Endless Slog With An Anticlimactic Conclusion
Chapter 42 (Intermission) - The Lovestruck
Chapter 43 (Battle) - New Contenders For The Best Units In The Game
Chapter 44 (Intermission) - Four Fingers On The Guitar
Chapter 45 (Battle) - This Victory Cost Two Entire Aircraft Carriers
Chapter 46 (Intermission) - Once Like You
Chapter 47 (Battle) - The Grey Goo Scenario Never Accounted For Megatanks
Chapter 48 (Intermission) - Fogbound
Chapter 49 (Battle) - Hot Single Man-Eating Ooze In Your Location
Chapter 50 (Intermission) - Dimitri’s Shadow
Chapter 51 (Battle) - Around 51 Screenshots Of Oozium Being Shot At
Chapter 52 (Intermission) - The Fires Of Ambition
Chapter 53 (Battle) - I’m Here To Break Crystals And Save The Director, And I’m All Out Of Director
Chapter 54 (Intermission) - Orange Star’s Heart
Chapter 55 (Battle) - This Black Bomb Has Crippling ADHD
Chapter 56 (Intermission) - Desert Heat
Chapter 57 (Battle) - Jake Punches A Bro Copter Five Times
Chapter 58 (Intermission) - The Victory Feast
Arc 4: The World's Greatest Strategist
Chapter 59 (Battle) - You Are Not Allowed To Blow Up Your Own Pipe Seams
Chapter 60 (Intermission) - On A Night Like This
Chapter 61 (Battle) - Putting The “Surprise” Into “Surprise Rockets”
Chapter 62 (Intermission) - The Biggest Girl’s Night
Chapter 63 (Battle) - Never Trust A Tank To Do A Bomber’s Job
Chapter 64 (Intermission) - Being Something Else
Chapter 65 (Battle) - Several Copters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Update
Chapter 66 (Intermission) - Over A Drink
Chapter 67 (Battle) - Around The Island In 13 Days
Chapter 68 (Intermission) - The Meaning Of A Flower
Chapter 69 (Battle) - The Fury Of The Kingmaker
Chapter 70 (Intermission) - Black Hole Weekly Report
Chapter 71 (Intermission) - Von Bolt’s Secret Project
Chapter 72 (Intermission) - The Night Before
Chapter 73 (Battle) - Will The Real My Dude Please Stand Up?
Chapter 74 (Intermission) - Approaching The End
Chapter 75 (Battle) - Market Crash Is Incredibly Fair And Balanced
Chapter 76 (Intermission) - Seeking Forgiveness
Chapter 77 (Battle) - Eat A Bag Of Dicks, Auto CO
Chapter 78 (Intermission) - Better Than You Think
Chapter 79 (Battle) - With The World On His Shoulders [Chapter 1]
Chapter 79 (Battle) - With The World On His Shoulders [Chapter 2]
Chapter 80 (Intermission) - Vainglorious Ascension
Chapter 81 (Intermission) - Their Finest Hour: Results + Credits