Part 8: In which Alice gets high, but only in the literal sense.

Looks like the majority want you to head up, Alice.

Only if you promise not to send me plummeting from the top branch.

I promise. Anyway, you have some stuff to do at ground level first. Check out those funky mushrooms!

They are strong-smelling, funny-shaped yellow mushrooms rather like the ones Cook uses in stews.

You have these in soup? I need to have dinner at your place.

You're rather too colorful to be invited. Still, I suppose I'd better collect them.



There are more over here; they're shorter than the yellow ones.

They are funny-shaped, strong-smelling purple mushrooms rather like the ones Cook uses in stews.

If I had to guess, I'd say the yellow ones will make me larger and the purple ones will make me smaller.

These mushrooms have an important property that cakes and elixirs lack; as Mary Ann said, they grow back. Specifically, once you've eaten them, they reappear the next game day where you found them. (For some reason, I thought they'd appear in the pantry, hence my comment in the last update, but it turns out that's not so.)

In that case, I suppose I'll use the mushrooms first if I need to change size again. Now what's written on this?

It is an advertisement that says: Desperately lost, one magnificent tea cup. Munificent reward. M. Hatter

I suppose it's a good thing I picked up that teacup, then.

You kleptomaniac, you.

I prefer the term 'adventurer'. Should I climb up this ladder?

No, let's backtrack and use the rope.



Oh, my aching arms. What's that? A giant, talking fly?

Giant, yes. Talking, no.

I suppose it will block my path like the dog, then?

Try it and see.

I guess the worst it can do is knock me back...



Ow.

I love that sound.

You told me you wouldn't send me plummeting!

That wasn't the top branch, was it?

...I deserved that.



I think I know how to get past it, though.



It's a good thing this parasol is so sturdy.

I think eating a yellow mushroom would have also worked.



And getting past this fly is just a matter of timing.

If you try to come up the ladder, you get knocked down, but can't move when you get back up, except to either climb down or jump; if you jump, the fly knocks you out of the tree. Not sure why you don't just fall, though.



It's another one of those shimmering mirrors! I wonder if I'll be able to get through?

I think that big bird has something to say about it.

Shoo. Go way. No serpents or solicitors or semicircles allowed.

Hello there. My name's Alice. What's yours?

Don't play dumb. I know that you know that I'm a pigeon.

There's no need to be rude; it was a simple question.

You needn't get huffy with me.

You started--! No, no, I'm not going to lose my temper this time. I'd very much like to get past you and take a look at that mirror, if it's all right.

This is beyond Endurance and that's already five miles beyond Wroxton.

Actually, I checked; there's no Endurance anywhere near Wroxton.

You're not helping!

Being absurd is my job.

Why can't you just let me by?

You can't pass on a worm casserole recipe unless you have children.

Er. Your children are back there, then? I'm sorry, but I don't mean them any harm.

You're not bad for a serpent.

I'm not a serpent!

If you eat eggs, then you're a kind of serpent; and that's that.

This isn't getting me anywhere.

It'd serve you right if the Red King woke up right now and we all disappeared.

I don't suppose there's some menial task I could perform that would convince you to let me pass?

I've been in such a tizzy. If only someone would sing to my babies to make them sleep.

Well, I do know a song... but if your chicks are behind you, how am I supposed to--

Look the other way a sec.



...well. If she's guarding her chicks, she's not doing a very good job of it.

Coo blimey!

Hello there, little birds! How are you today?

Coo blimey!

Is that the only thing you can say?

Coo blimey!

I'm going to sing a song for you. I hope you like it.

Crinkle, crinkle, little hat.
I don't have one quite like that.
Lots of points it's got so high
like a hedgehog in the sky.


(To the tune of 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.')

...

I don't think it helped any.

It's the only song I know.

Then we'll just have to come back when you know a lullaby.

So this whole trip was just a waste of time?

At least you know what you need here now.

Let's just go down.



Slowly.





Where there are mushrooms, there must be the Caterpillar.

Speaking of, be sure to grab those mushrooms before we leave.

Explain yourself, child.

What do you mean, explain yourself?

An unexamined life is a wasted life.

I think I saw that in a fortune cookie once.

Quiet, you.

Don't be ridiculous. There are enough people who already are.

I wasn't talking to you.

No, no, you should be asking about the mushrooms. One color makes you grow big. The other makes you small.

Yes, I already figured that part out. By the way, my name's Alice. And you are?

Let me check my reference books, but I think I'm a caterpillar.

I think someone's been hitting the mushrooms a little too hard.

Can you please not interrupt?

You're at the intellectual equivalent of Buckingham Palace.

Yes, it feels that way.



What are you doing, anyway?

I keep thinking about this riddle that tells you what you need to get out of Wonderland.
It sits above the crown though queens never wear it. It is a ------.

I mentioned previously that the game uses the keyboard in a few places. Specifically, it uses it for riddles. You see how many letters the answer has; you type in the answer, and if you get it right, something happens.

Luckily, I'm good at riddles. And the answer to this one has been hinted at a half-dozen times so far anyway. Is it a  tophat ?

 You need to be a giant to go through the chessboard to find the Mad Hatter. 

...

...

...that's it? That doesn't even make any sense!

You shouldn't do that. It could be habit-forming.

...and he's gone. I was hoping for more than a hint toward some other puzzle I haven't even seen yet.

Don't knock it. I struggled with that puzzle back in the day.

I guess I'll keep going.



Nothing much here, just a few more mushrooms to pick and a little bridge.



Ah, it's the Cheshire Cat again! I wonder what hints he'll give this time.

I bet you think only of yourself all the time.

Funny, I thought that was a cat's job.

It's easier to tease hair than to tease a cat.

Why are you people so rude to me whenever you see me?

People are such amusing creatures. What did we cats ever do before they were invented?

Never mind. I suppose you want me to help you with something as well?

I'd save my pity for the baby that's in that drafty old house. Someone should have taken him away a long time ago.

What baby? What house? I don't see any house here.

It's more important to know that you can use the March Hare's whisker to reach the baby.

Well, that's more what I was expecting: oddly specific puzzle advice. Thank you. Would you like to be petted?

How droll, but I am not anyone's little kitty and have not been for a number of years.

...and now he's gone. Is it just me, or is what people around here take offense to rather random?

It's a phenomenon I'm well familiar with.

I wonder where the house he mentioned is?



EEE! Don't sneak up on me like that!

Well, you heard the Cheshire Cat. I've got the feeling we'll get something important if we rescue the baby.

Who are you?

You ought to know by now.

And why do you keep following me?

You know the answer to that as well as I do.

Quit being Vorlon with us, you creepy stalker.

I know that we're both too young to be mothers; but a life is at stake.

But what am I supposed to do with a baby? I'm having enough trouble just finding a way out of here.

I know babies are a lot of trouble; but we can leave it on the Reverend Dodgson's doorstep once we escape.

Besides, you probably need to give the baby to a hippo or something to solve a puzzle.

All right, all right... what can I do to help?

I don't know why I waste my time with you. *poof*

...I think I might cry.

Never mind that; it's just as well she's gone.

Well, I need to take a break at any rate. It's been a hard day.

Fair enough. Next time on 'Alice in Wonderland', Alice graduates from petty theft to kidnapping!

Yes, revel in my suffering and depravity! I do it all for you!