Part 13: Kalcazoth Cave

Here we go again.



The first mission of Kalcazoth Cave introduces us to a new type of switch. These crystals have colours corresponding to fire, forest, ice or lightning, and you must trigger them using a weapon with the appropriate code. Or spirit magic, if you're feeling wasteful.



For convenience's sake, equip your switch-hitting/torch-lighting weapon in one hand and your metalized murder weapon in the other, as our model is demonstrating.



And here come the block-pushing puzzles. You all knew it was inevitable and you all know the score. Switches on the floor don't stay down when you step on them, must cover them with block, and yes there is going to be an ice level where the blocks slide around, thanks for asking.



Man, I'm cutting these fine. Grabbing screenshots slows me down. That's my excuse and it's sticking to me.

Incidentally, the maximum value for a dungeon page is 4000. You can score higher in some missions, but it won't be reflected in the CP. Or even the high score records. Take that, overachievers! Go slack off like the rest of us!



I briefly discussed tossing in the first dungeon, which was met with discomfort and several concerned private messages. My behaviour was inappropriate and I apologise again.

In other news, we're now using judgment links in missions.



10+ toss-ups means ten in a row, not ten in total. I see you trying to wriggle through those loopholes, you sleazy little lawyer tadpoles.

The timer freezes as soon as you start a judgment link, which is just as well because getting gold in these missions would otherwise be impossible. If you have the patience to bounce all the enemies to death, you can shave a fair few seconds off your time. I don't, nor is it ever necessary.



The dungeon features an optional detour into "Underground Lake Avernus", a small cavern and shortcut back to Granatum Forest.



It contains a magic urn, so visit if you're hurting for MP or just hurting. Otherwise, there is nothing of interest.



YET.



The spiky balls roll back and forth, because what's the point of a spiky ball that doesn't roll back and forth? Or swing. Swinging is acceptable.

Speaking of rolling, getting the hang of fluid rolling will really help you out in these missions. You move faster and are invulnerable in mid-tumble. With good timing, you can roll straight through the balls rather than fart-arsing around them in silly S shapes and wasting precious seconds.



Fart-arsers don't get gold medals. Practice them rolls.



Flip all the switches. Again. Well, all the others have been easy, so I don't see why...



what

This room diverts from the main path, and is therefore optional. Although you can complete it using what we'll call the fakir approach, you'll be near-dead by the end, and you certainly won't be getting a gold medal. Better to come back once you've learned a certain special move. You'll know it when you see it.



To end a mission prematurely, just touch the map. Rempo will ask if you want to give up and get really pissy when you say yes, for some reason. You see that scribbly line. Scribbly lines are abstract vexation. Sorry I'm not interested in mutilating my feet for your entertainment I guess.

Unless you've completed the mission before, doing this will take you back to the previous room.



again, why even bother

The problem with these doors is that either you already have the necessary codes, in which case it's not an obstacle, or you don't and it's too much of an obstacle.

In most games like this, if there's a locked door, the key will be elsewhere in the dungeon. You have to search, but at least you've got an idea where to look. Here, the codes you need could be anywhere in the world, on any of the myriad enemies, items or people you may have missed whilst struggling with the confounding map. If you can't open this door already, you're backtracking all the way to Grana Plains to scan one of these things.



Not that you'd know that.



In this mission, we get ourselves some Megaman-style disappearing platforms. As you step on them, another will appear in a random direction, and you only get a second to hop on before the previous one vanishes. Rinse and repeat until you're across the pit and can reach the switch.



Not too difficult, but something a bit different. It's not the same without the sound effect, though. You know the one.

FWOOOOP



This pile of rubble blocks the way to some optional rooms. We can't clear it until we get a new weapon in the next chapter, so again we'll have to come aaaallll the way back here and ugh, this game



If you read the description for the judgment link video, you know that jewels are this game's currency. And you get them by judgment linking. This is essentially an obfuscated toss-up mission.



The game doesn't show your jewel count when you pick one up. Yellow ones are worth 10 and purple worth 50, but you have to work that out yourself. You might not even know money exists in the game yet, since there have been no shops or any indication that you'd need it.



Because of how judgment links are animated, you can accidentally pick the jewel up before the camera zooms back down to earth, so you won't know what colour it was or even if you got one. This isn't something you can avoid; jewels and power-ups gravitate towards you if you're standing nearby.



You'll also have to discern the purple panel in the centre as a monster generator. As long as it's intact, enemies will just keep spawning in and the mission will never end.



You destroy it the old-fashioned way, which is simple enough, but it shouldn't have been represented by a tile on the floor. That looks like a switch, not something you're supposed to hit.

Also, every time Yumil swings, he moves forward slightly, so you'll often end up on top of it and whiffing your attacks. It's just awkward. Make it a statue or something. Or better yet, a grotesque, disembodied uterus. See, then we'd make the connection that it's birthing monsters! Intuitiveness!

i have good ideas, hire me



It's worth the trouble, though. Golding this mission (I am officially making "gold" a verb as of now) will get you a red metalize tablet, which increases your maximum HP when scanned. Without a puzzle, thank god.



There's the urn, which means we're finished here. Tune in next time for more words, and possibly pictures.