Part 1: Original OP

There may be commentary unique to the archives here as I did in fact read every update to this while searching for errors and in many cases was again disgusted with the goddamn mod and/or myself and had to say so, or when I noticed and fixed some horrible error I failed to notice and fix during the thread.

The valiant cast of players! (updated as we encounter new characters)

The heroes!
: Asim, our valiant magical protagonist. If you really want to understand the joke in his name, have 2 and a half hours to kill, and don't mind developing cancer, watch Satan's Accountants play Pokeymans, Part One, wherein I first defined the Asim persona.
: Jaheira, close friend and compatriot of our valiant magical hero's deceased foster father.
: Minsc, valiant berserker warrior.
: Imoen, longtime friend of our valiant magical protagonist.
: Yoshimo, bounty hunter from Kara-Tur.
: Jan Jansen, mobile vegetable peddler, thief and utility spellcaster extraordinaire.
: Saerileth, Chosen of Tyr - a young and pious warrior. also, the source of our trainwreck of creepy. DEAD NOW I DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE AHAHAHA YAY ME
: Viconia, renegade drow and cleric of the night goddess Shar.
: Annoymen Anomen Sir Anomen, Knight of the Radiant Heart and Fighter/Cleric dual class. Rest in peace Rot in hell, you prick.
: Nalia, noble with a heart. Also more annoying than Anomen.
: Aerie, elven cleric/mage who used to have wings but doesn't now and is very upset about the whole thing
: Edwin, human specialist mage who breaks all the rules on memorization thanks to a scripted amulet of his. Does not get along with Minsc!
: Haer'Dalis, Tiefling Blade and an awesome character.
: Korgan, Dwarven Berserker, and really quite awesome. _{Fuck you irreconcilable alignment differences!}
: Mazzy, Halfling Fighter with some special abilities that make her basically a Paladin.
: Valygar, Human Stalker. Really boring character, not too many banters and one of the most flat deliveries of lines in the game.
: Cernd, Human Shapeshifter. Really boring character, even with Valygar, but with less uses.
: Keldorn, Human Inqusitor. Most of his personality involves him being an old veteran of many wars, actually.

Important villains!
: Irenicus! Our main baddy, amusingly enough voiced by The Lobe from Freakazoid!
: Bodhi, a named Vampire with lots of lines.  Also the sister to our favorite villain, Irenicus, and sharing in his curse. 

The Pip Boy obligingly plays our various portraitless NPCs!
: Lilarcor, the Sentient Sword!
,,,,: Various generic NPCs
, : Various generic, yet EEEEVIL, NPCs
: Various priestly but generic NPCs.
: Various crazy eyeless cultists, as well as Tyr, who is blind.
: For all those sneaky thief types
:
: Paladins!
: Vampires!

Asim's apprentices!
: Morul
: Larz
: Nara

Inconsequential NPCs that actually do have portraits for no good reason, or are just given their old ones from BG1!
: SAERILETH DOESN'T LOVE HIM And that really is the closest thing to a personality he has. In an alternate reality where the PC doesn't meet the romance requirements, he and Saerileth are already engaged or something.
: Quayle, a returning NPC from the first Baldur's Gate, where he was thoroughly useless. One of a few NPCs who return to make cameos but will not join the party.
: Xzar, a very much insane Necromancer. He was part of a package deal with the Halfling Fighter/Thief Montaron in the first game.
: Faldorn, a Shadow Druid. They're to normal druids what the Westboro Baptist Church is to Christians - fucking crazy and no one outside their little group likes them. She was encountered in the Cloakwood in the first game, by which time you probably already had a good enough character to fill her role in the party that you didn't give a damn about her.
: Tiax. When he rules, britches shall not ride up so wedgelike!



In case for some reason you don't know, Baldur's Gate 2 is an Infinity Engine game developed by BioWare and released in 2000, following the tale of the Bhaalspawn Saga. It is the sequel to the first Baldur's Gate, also an Infinity Engine game, released in 1998. There was an expansion, Throne of Bhaal, released for Baldur's Gate 2 in 2001, which sees the Bhaalspawn Saga to its conclusion. The game is based on the 2nd edition AD&D ruleset. If you have no idea what that is, head over to GameFAQs and check out DSimpson's AD&D Rules FAQ for a quality overview.

For a brief plot overview, the protagonist is a son or daughter of Bhaal, the God of Murder who was slain during the Time of Troubles when the High God Ao cast down all of the gods to walk the Realms as mortals, with the exception of Helm, who was charged with guarding against the other gods' reascension until they managed to bring back the Tablets of Fate, which had been stolen by the gods Bane and Myrkul. Bhaal was aware of his future, which led him to have many children with mortal women, each of which would be sacrificed in order to resurrect him. All of his power was left with his High Priestess, however, and Bhaal was an Evil god...

Now then... With mods? OH SHIT!

The names of the mods in use are:
Ascension Mod by David Gaider (WeiDU version)
Tactics Mod by really quite a few people
Saerileth Romance Mod by Nethrin and Sillara (Trainwreck, yay!)
Oversight Mod, only effect we'll really be seeing is the "Improved Sendai" component, since Ascension left her out.
GrandMastery fix by James Schumacher
Fixpack by Gibberlings Three
Tower of Deception by Valiant
PnP Celestials by andrewas and Orion's Stardom

Components of Tactics installed are:

Improved TorGal & DeArnise Keep
Improved Bodhi
Improved Irenicus
Improved Twisted Rune
Improved Demon Knights
Tougher Kangaxx and Guardians
Improved Crypt King
Improved Undead
Smarter Dragons
Improved Copper Coronet
Improved Oasis
Improved Small Teeth Pass
Improved North Forest
Slightly Tougher Demons

Alright, I'm the next guy to attempt to give an LP to this game - let's all hope I don't abandon it and actually do a good job.

It's up to you guys to actually choose our character. I've got the basic personality laid out, commentary-wise, but it is YOU who gets to tell me how we are!

We're not playing as a Paladin or Monk because I've done both of those enough times that one more will probably make me want to give up.

My preferences:
Human Stalker (Ranger subkit - see below)
Human Blade (Bard subkit - see below)

Other than that, your other options are:

Fighter - Vanilla (Your basic tank)
Fighter - Berserker (Basically just a fighter with an extra ability and really no drawbacks)
Fighter - Kensai (Crazy weapon bonuses, but can't wear armor. AC naturally improves as he levels)
Fighter - Wizardslayer (Can't wear magic items not weapon/armor, but gives a successive %chance for enemies to fail spell casting on hit)

Barbarian - (Not a fighter kit, but might as well be. More HP, but can't use more than studded leather armor. Fun physical damage resistances, and rage ability. Increased movement rate. Basically a more interesting version of the Berserker.)

Cleric - Vanilla (Healer!)
Cleric - Lathander (Some fun extra spells, but no drawbacks. Limited to being good-aligned)
Cleric - Helm and Talos (Have to be Neutral and Evil respectively, so it's a no-go here, guys)

Bard - Vanilla (Sort of a fighter/mage/thief, actually, but less power than a fighter/mage/thief multiclass. Crazy Lore stat for auto-identification of items)
Bard - Blade (Fun melee combat bonus abilities. Default song only, half lore)
Bard - Skald (Bonuses to hit and damage with melee weapons. Nice song bonuses. 1/4 pickpockets skill)
Bard - Jester (Kind of your basic bard, but with a song that becomes totally useless by endgame)

Druids... Actually a no-go again.

Mage - Default/Specialist (Throws magic around. Specialist makes things a little more confusing by limiting you from one school of spells, but giving you +1 spells/day. Either way, you'll never be as good a Mage as Edwin, the Lawful Evil NPC mage, who breaks all the damn rules)
Mage - Wild Mage (Random effects. Very, very fun.)

Sorcerer (Not a mage subkit, but might as well be. Doesn't memorize spells, but rather learns them at level-up and can cast them at will. Has a set number of spells/day. More spells/day than a mage, but less total to draw from. Very, very, very broken if you know what you're doing.)

Thief - Actually, not allowed for this either. vv

Ranger - Sort of a fighter/druid. No good reason to pick him over any of his kits, though. All Rangers have 2 slots in Two-Weapon Style by default. (FUCK YOU SALVATORE)
Ranger - Archer (Awesome with bows. Can get grand-mastery in bows, which is actually worth something since I have the little mod to actually set that to what it should have been according to 2nd Edition AD&D rules. Can't wear more than studded leather. Sucks with melee weapons.)
Ranger - Beastmaster (Can summon things. Also familiars. Has the usual druid spells, too. Yaaay? Can't use metal weapons like swords, axes, warhammers, etc.)
Ranger - Stalker (Has a little backstab and gains some mage spells, including Haste in addition to his druid spells. Can't go higher than studded leather.)

Keep in mind that unless otherwise noted, the "drawbacks" in here don't actually manage to be drawbacks if you know what you're doing.

No dual/multi-classing of the PC, since I want to avoid too much cheesing going on.

So, fight amongst yourselves for a few days.

Update! You guys chose Wild Mage, and by a pretty damn resounding margin, too.
Wild Mage 12
Stalker 1
Blade 1
Wizard Slayer 1
Barbarian 2
Jester 1
Archer 2
Kensai 1
Cleric of Lathandar 1

Here we have the Wild Surge chart, because it's pretty giggleworthy in places and I really doubt I'll manage to screencap all the effects.

Number Wild
Rolled Surge
1 Repulsion field centered on the caster
2 Wild color changes upon the caster
3 Squirrels appear around caster
4 The caster becomes itchy
5 The caster glows
6 A fireball centers on the caster
7 The caster's sex is changed
8 The caster's color changes
9 Every one in the area changes direction
10 Explosion centered on caster
11 Entangle spell centered on caster
12 Slow spell centered on target
13 Target polymorphed into a wolf.
14 Caster held
15 Caster hasted
16 Caster changed into a squirrel
17 Gold on the caster is destroyed
18 Target weakened
19 Sunfire spell centered on caster
20 Movement rate lowered on target
21 Fireball centered on caster
22 Caster held as per the spell Hold Person
23 Fear spell centered on target
24 Roll twice more. Both effects apply
25 Entire area explored
26 Globe of invulnerability centered on target
27 Silence 15 foot radius centered on caster
28 Caster dizzy
29 Target invisible
30 Pretty sparkles! No other effect
31 Caster is spell's target
32 Caster becomes invisible
33 Color spray from caster
34 Birds appear around the caster
35 Fireball centered on caster. No damage done
36 Gems created on caster
37 Combat music starts
38 Goodberries created on caster
39 Fireball flies toward target
40 Charges drained on area effect around target
41 Random treasure created on caster
42 Caster is combat ready (+2 THACO +2 Damage)
43 Teleport field spell centered on caster
44 Teleport field spell centered on target
45 Area effect hiccups centered on target
46 All doors in area of effect open. If there are no doors, then roll twice and use both effects
47 Caster polymorphs into wolf
48 Change target randomly
49 Caster recuperates as if he rested
50 Monsters summoned by target
51 Start snowing if outside, otherwise roll twice more
52 Loud noise. Target must save or be stunned
53 Target's hit points doubled
54 Summon demon to attack target
55 Spell fired but with squealing noise
56 Spell goes off but duration is halved
57 Strange visual effect, but the spell fizzles
58 Projectile speed halved
59 All weapons in the area glow
60 No saving throw is allowed against the spell
61 Target is held as per the Hold Person spell
62 Detect magic spell centered on target
63 Roll 4 more times. All effects happen
64 Slow spell centered on target
65 Instead of the chosen spell, a different spell of the same level goes off
66 Lightning bolt spell cast at target
67 Target strengthened
68 Heal centered on the target
69 Entangle target
70 Caster weakened
71 Fireball spell centered on target
72 Flesh to stone on target
73 Spell fired. Caster also recuperated as if rested
74 Heal spell centered on caster
75 Target dizzy
76 Sunfire centered on target (caster unaffected)
77 Target held
78 Target blinded
79 Target charmed
80 Gems created on target
81 Target's movement rate reduced
82 Random treasure created on target
83 Target polymorphed into squirrel
84 Silence 15 foot radius centered on target
85 Target's sex changed
86 Fake explosion (no damage) centered on target
87 Stinking cloud centered on target
88 Cow falls from sky on the target.
89 Target dizzy
90 Spell has 60 foot radius at target (change projectile)
91 Target itchy
92 Casters hit points doubled
93 Target held
94 Target hastened
95 Destroy all gold on target
96 Spell casts at double effectiveness
97 Spell cast, -4 to target's saving throw
98 Target's color changed
99 Spell cast at double level
100 Spell casts normally

As you can see, some are beneficial, some are quite harmful, but the most are just plain amusing.

And, our character is:



M'nardran'm Asim
Chaotic Good
Wild Mage
Human Male

Stats:
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 18
Constitution: 16
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 10
Charisma: 18

It was an epic roll.

I'd write down our known spells, but fuck that.

Edit - added a brief plot overview and game introduction and removed some pointless information.