Part 12: Seeking sentient swords and slaughtering slavers!

Chapter 8 - Seeking sentient swords and slaughtering slavers!

Well, after purchasing a license to use magic from the Cowled Wizards (gods, that makes no sense. People better at magic shouldn't have to pay their inferiors for the right to use it in peace) we headed back to the Copper Coronet to finish up the business of the slavers in the city. It was rather important, after all. During our exploration, we encountered a man whose sin was quite clearly that of lust.

I don't know, who's your wife?
Hah! If you met her, you'd remember! She's a vicious hen with sharp teeth and a shout you can hear halfway across Faerun! Isn't that right, Pumpkin?
*giggle!* She sure is, my sweetums! *giggle!*
I thought I heard her bellow, earlier. If so... well... I'll just have to take my time with my little dalliance, here. Bwahaha!
I have no idea. _{And if she is, I am so sending her in here you lecherous, lecherous little man you.}
Ah. Well, if you do see her about, be a sport and don't say anything to her. She'll never find us back here, will she my sweet little pumpkin?
*giggle!* No, never!
Okay, that was just so stupid I am bringing her here right now.
Bwahaha! Such a lovely joke!
Yes, yes it is. _{You have no idea how lovely this is about to get. From my perspective, that is. You are probably going to be quite miserable, which is part of why I'll find it so lovely.}

And bring her I did.

Actually, I met him in the back rooms. Perhaps you could find him there.
What?! Back rooms?!

_eek! Uh... darling?
Don't you "darling" me! You will come home with me this very instant!!
Yes, dear...
No! You can't have him! He's mine!
One more word out of you, wench, and it'll be your last!
Wench?! WENCH?!! Listen here, you old harpy--!!
HARPY?!! That's IT!!
G-g-girls... ladies... d-don't fight!

One amateur knife-fight later, Priss the courtesan lay dead at the feet of Rumar's wife Tiana.

Tiana...? My wife...? You fought for me...
You are damned right I did!
Oh, darling! I'm so sorry! Let's go home, alright, sweetums?
Were my beloved to e'er betray me so, I shouldst die.
_{Oh, you have no idea.}
*kicks Jan* _{Fourth wall, dammit!} Erm, gesundeit!
_{What? Oh, right! Sorry, my bad!} Thank you, Asim. Anyway Asim, while that bit of stupidity was going on, I went and uhmm... Aquired these! Look!
Apparently, Jan was busy being a little kleptomaniac during this whole exchange, as he came back with the
Gloves of Pick Pocketing which grant a small bonus to a thief's pickpocketing skills. Jan's personally made gloves did that and more, so they were really rather pointless, but whatever. The point was that the little kleptomaniac stole them from whichever thief owned them previously.

We found the sewer entrance, and Yoshimo went about in stealth scout mode.

That group of hobgoblins fell really rather nicely to this fireball:


Except for one, who went to a nearby sewer grate and withdrew a withered hand. It acted like it was important, so we took it. Turns out it really WAS important!

It did the same thing at these skeletons

but instead it took a faintly magic ring, which later proved to be just as useful.

We encountered some Myconids and a minotaur.

The minotaur died right after that, slain by the Myconids, but we killed the Myconids.
Silly mushroom men, you are no match for wild magic!
Thou shouldst not mock the fallen, even if it was thy foe.
Aww, you're no fun. No, wait, I didn't mean it like that don't cry!

Elsewhere in the sewers, we ran into some Kobolds.

Hey, you know what? Face the wrath of - FIREBALL!

They could not stand up to the mighty wrath of Fireball. The shaman had a rather neat staff that I took.

Meanwhile, Saerileth was trying to be friendly with Yoshimo.

That may be, but you are from a far stranger land than I.
Indeed. Yet I would know more of thy homeland. What is it?
I hail from Kara-Tur, of course. You are one of the few people who does not comment on my accent.
To mine ears, all speech here is unfamiliar, thine no more so than the rest.
Shall I then speak a familiar word in your ear? [And he winks at Saerileth.]
Indeed, no sir! [Saerileth, crimson-cheeked, retreats.]
[Returning] Saerileth, you're blushing again. What happened here?
It wast nothing.
[breaking free of Yoshimo's attempts at preventing him from speaking, then beaming like a small child] ASIM! YOSHIMO HIT ON SAERILETH!
She was asking for it!
I most certainly did no such thing!
[Stands still and blinks.] This... this is so weird that we are going to pretend that none of this ever happened.
Sounds like a plan to me.
Wait, doesn't anyone want to know MY opinion?
No, we really don't.
Oh, what would you know, you ridiculous gnome and your rainbow clothing! It's just so colorful and fabulous! ...Wait, what am I trying to say here?
I wouldn't know; I'm just a ridiculous gnome with rainbow clothing.
[barely contained laughter]

Anyhow, after that surreal little exchange, we explored a little further, stumbling across a very odd pool.

Prove your worth and I shall submit to your master. Listen to the words of my jailor, who cast me off so that he might pass from this world: [the voice takes on a solemn tone] Four locks are cast and made/Four wards will hold the blade/In what order shall thou place the keys?/Four deaths await thee. [then the voice resumes its excited manner] When all was silent, I crept from the slime and scratched rhymes for you. Vallah forbade it and hid me, but he is dead, so I've ignored him.
What is going on here? Who are you?
[the voice laughs] I can't reveal all. Prove your worth - find Quallo. We shall speak through that vessel. Be careful! The wards must be broken in the proper order.

Here are the four pipes, with their respective bits of (bad) poetry.





We found Quallo, a strange man who was standing by a carrion crawler of all things.

What friend? Who are you speaking to?
This beast that you see, he is a monster to you but to me he is a friend. Would you like to kiss him? He loves affection. He loves to taste the flesh of the unwary. It is his one weakness. It has been his gift to me for these long years.
Who are you and how did you end up living in this sewer?
I have been called Quallo in this place but that name is truly another's. My name is sung both near and far. On the tongues of bards and the lips of fools.
Tell me of this blade that you mentioned.
The gleam in your eye! It belies your greed, your passion. I've found this blade, child! It is hidden most insiduously. A cruel jest has been played upon us all. My friend here knows this!
Where can I find this blade?
The One has left clues for you. Have you not found the clues? Where the topside filth drains, there are the clues. Return to me ere you follow the One's path, for there is much that you must learn.
I've found your clues, old man.
Then the One has told you that it requires 4 things to unlock itself. The lock is more complicated than that. The keys must be used in the correct order. Ask what you will of me about the keys, and I shall give you what answers you are worthy of. Some questions I may not answer.
Can you tell me about this ring?
It is not first, nor does it belong in the third pipe.
When should I use this hand?
It was Vallah's hand that cast the One into the depths. His suffering is of prime importance.
This staff, what use is it to me?
The staff shall seal the bargain and prove your worth.
I have no questions for you at this time. Also, hey guys! GET THAT CARRION CRAWLER!

And we did, and took a little bottle of its blood and returned to the pipes.






Out of the water rose a magical sword. The magical sword was Lilarcor!

end of it, but Lilarcor, not really knowing what a Treant was, didn't realize the truth. He eventually uprooted the oak and, marching proudly home, he declared himself a hero. Thus was born a laughingstock of epic proportions, and over time Lilarcor became the sacrificial fool in many tales of "less than brilliance." It is not known whether this enchanted weapon is Lilarcor himself, perhaps imprisoned by an evil mage or some other odd coincidence of fate, but it certainly acts in a manner consistent with his level of competence. If it is he, he has never bemoaned his captivity. He might not realize, or care, that he is no longer a human. As a weapon, Lilarcor has its uses, but many a warrior has eventually given it away. Banter such as "Ouch, that musta hurt," "Oh yeah! Got 'im good," and "Beware my bite for it might... might... might really hurt or something" is a constant barrage on a warrior's psyche.

Well, the fact was, it fit Minsc's personality perfectly, so he got to wield it.
Minsc now has friends in Boo and in Lilarcor the magical large talky sword!
Yes, Minsc. Yes you do.

We then (finally) found the part of the sewers that led up to the lair of the slavers.

Quiet you slaver scum!You brought ruin upon yourself.
These dregs could nary be called persons! This is no different than trading in cattle! Speakin' of which, it's about time you were butchered!
What?! They have no shame in trading the lives of others?! Evil, meet my trusty sword! Sword: MEET EVIL!!
Hi, Evil! I'm Lilarcor, and I'll be SLICING YOU LIMB FROM LIMB YAHAHAHA!

We opened a nearby door with a key found on the slaver captain's corpse. Inside we found two violent trolls (which we quickly dispatched) and a little girl.

True enough. You are free now, so I suggest you flee while you can.
Y-yes, sir. I don't know where we will go. Scornubel is so far away... But anything is better than fighting just so those evil men can laugh at us!
Asim, let us do something to aid this child.
She's right, you know.
Here, child. Here is 100 gold pieces... see if that can't get you and some of these other children back where you came from.
Oh! Oh, you are too kind, sir. This, this might just get some of us back home. Thank you, truly.
Indeed, you are free, now... go, while you can!
O-okay! Thank you again, sir! I am sure the Lady of Joy will smile on you!
Thou art a good man, Asim. This pleaseth me.
Why does no one ever ask my opinio - damn it Jan, stop dancing in front of me, your clothes are simply distracting enough as it is! And give me back my wallet!
Iiii simply don't know what you're talking abouuuut!
STOP SINGING!

These slavers, they had a wizard working with them! He was not a lizard wizard, as Lilarcor "helpfully" pointed out.

What is this? The keepers of the law have betrayed their trust? [Saerileth's anger flashes in her eyes.]
What are you speaking of? Hold! You're not soldiers of Amn... this changes things. Destroy these fools, men! Captain Haegan shall give a pearl to the one who makes the first kill!

We also found and freed two more small children in cells.



As we exited the compound, Minsc demanded my attention regarding our planned trip to the Umar Hills.

We must go where evil is in most need of a beating, so Minsc will leave that decision up to you, Asim. Still... we must not disappoint the little boy.

We also had a little chat with the slaver guard outside the compound.

I've heard that people have seen strange things around here... people being led about in chains. What can you tell me about that?
Ye should pay no heed to the' queer minds o' others, an' pay more heed to yer business... an' yer health, for that matter.
Could you perhaps illuminate for me, then, what this building is for?
It's none of yer business. Be off with ye.
I've heard that people have seen strange things around here... people being led about in chains. What can you tell me about that?
Ye should've learned to keep yer nose out of our affairs!

He then attacked us and we killed him, then returned to Hendak.

He rewarded us.


Hail, Asim, and well met. I have a request to make of you, if you would hear me.
And you are?
I am called Havun Clarenshide, and I am a servant of the Order of the Radiant Heart. I crave a boon of you. One of our number has discovered the lair of a dreadful wyrm. Twice we have approached it, and both times we were repulsed.
What kind of dragon is this?
Its hide is a purplish color. I assume it is a gem dragon of some sort, though I do not know which. Perhaps amethyst. Asim, will you aid us in the slaying of this monster?
Very well, I will aid you.
You accept the challenge? The Order will be pleased to hear this! Go, then, to Umar Hills. There, beyond the first river, near the cave, you will find the wyrm, Khalabaxin. He is cunning, so beware his fangs and breath! When you have slain the great serpent, seek me in the Order's headquarters. I will await you there.

Edit - Whoops, just noticed I used the generic2 image in places where I meant to use the generic3 image.