Part 38: MURDER MURDER MURDER

Chapter 28 - MURDER MURDER MURDER

Just before we left that area, we found a scroll of Delayed Blast Fireball in an urn.

Just inside the next part of the silly labyrinth thing was a hidden door which led to a room with a horseshoe-like wheel.

When turned, it opened a nearby door...

Which led to a bunch of trolls.


Alternate reality holy shiiit!
Alright, at this point I had a very powerful wild surge-created Fireball screw a bunch of stuff up.

Note that Minsc is in Berserk state, Jan is dead, Aerie is nowhere to be found because she got gibbed by the fireball, and Haer'Dalis has turned hostile and left the party. Jan actually has no relevance to this whole thing, it's all because Aerie died. Whenever she dies after Minsc adopts her as his witch, he goes into Berserk state in rage, and Haer'Dalis leaves and attacks the party if you kill her if their fling is going on. Fun, isn't it?
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled Universe.

Inside a container in that room was a little Mithril Token.

Minotaurs.
Actually it still sucks at this point if they crit you but hey, I have Mordenkainen's Sword, what the hell do I care?


Near the minotaurs was a little room with a pool and three statues.

In the pool there was a Mind Flayer painting and a Minotaur Horn.

Each statue held a painting and seemed to be holding out a hand in warning.

When I grabbed each painting, it set off a magical trap.

However, puny traps have no effect on the mighty Asim! The statues held, from left to right, paintings of a Troll, an Umber Hulk, and a Djinni.

Yuan-ti are boring and I hate them and wish they would go away and give me INTERESTING things to fight.

Mordenkainen's Sword is a lovely spell and it slaughters boring things for me. Anyway, you see here the four doors with the same paintings as, well, the paintings I found. Each painting was a key, of a sort. Behind each door was a monster.


The Djinni door had a Noble Djinni behind it.


The Umber Hulk, well, an Umber Hulk.


As for the Troll, it had a Spirit Troll behind it. I had some fun with that.

To spare you any effort counting, I'm going to tell you that I have 10 there. Each one does 15d6 with a save for half. Unless I really sucked at the math, that's a range of 75-900 damage, barring any applicable fire resistances.


I- HEY! I thought we weren't using that take! Dammit I can't work with these people!
CRASH
OH GOD IT BURNS!
AAAA FLYING SWORDS!
OH GOD GET THE CENTIPEDE BAGELS IN HERE! CALM HIM DOWN!
CRASH

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
I'm sorry, we're having some... Technical difficulties. Please stand by.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Okay, everything's solved now. We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.

Archival Commentary - okay what the hell was that I don't even remember writing that let alone what the hell any of it was supposed to be

*AHEM* Alright. The Spirit Troll who met with overkill was followed up with an Ulitharid behind the Mind Flayer door.


Anyway, from the various critters, we got two items - Malakar and Flame of the North.

I will never understand what werewolves or wolfweres, whichever these were, were doing there.


Alternate reality holy shiiit!

Yyyyeah. It turns out that Summon Earth Elemental + Area Effect wild surge + tiny room like that = me reloading because I can't see what the hell is going on anymore.
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled Universe.

In that room, we snagged the string for the Gesen Bow. This would be a whole lot more exciting if it weren't for the fact that it still took FOR FUCKING EVER to get the damn thing assembled. Because apparently none of us knew how to string a fucking bow and had to have a dwarf put it together.

After poking around for a while, collecting more mithril tokens along the way, we encountered an odd machine.

The message reads: 'Master, thy boots are well recombobulated. I have destinkified the soles. 'Twas a rapturous experience to lend mine hand to the task. Thou art, sir, a man of distinguished valor...' - the flattery goes on for some time. 'The system of tokenage has been set to thy precise specifications. The machine will dispense quality footwear upon the placement of mithril tokens within the slot. Surreptitiously, Grophinet - thy Jester' The machine can be activated by placing an appropriate number of tokens within the slot. You must have enough tokens to use it. What do you wish to do?
Place 15 tokens in the slot.
With a quiet 'PING!' the machine dispenses a pair of boots.

This can make a few more things, I can't remember what exactly, but I'm pretty sure it's Boots of the North, Boots of Grounding, and the Jester's Chain. I dunno, I don't really have a use for anything but the Boots of Speed. vv

They were Boots of Speed.

This next area was pretty fun.


Just have someone stand on the tile in the middle...


And press the buttons for Slow

healing

Haste

and firing a lightning bolt.


Next up...

I expected you to come. You'd be a fool to let me reach Irenicus.
I know I'm early, but I just couldn't bear to see you leave. You were amusing, but the game is over. One last time, let our paths cross in blood!
Asiiiiim... There is nothing within you but the instinct. Let it take you... Yeeessss... let it take you... Surrender to it and kill...



Away! Irenicus must know of this! We will observe from a distance!
Coward! I will drink of your damned blood, vampire! YOU SHALL NOT ESCAPE MURDER!

You know, ShadowCatBoy once linked me to an absolutely horrifying fanfic that takes place here. It involves the female Bhaalspawn and Edwin at this point. It was horrifying. To make matters worse, he started quoting it, so if I hadn't clicked on it I still would have been hit by the horror of it. In conclusion, ShadowCatBoy is an evil, evil bastard.

Archival Commentary - I still stand by this statement.


The void where your soul once was overflowed with murderous fury, the mark of a deity that no longer exists. The taint of Bhaal has affected you differently than Imoen, reacting with your strength of will. You will eventually lose yourself unless your stolen soul is restored. A fate, as they say, worse than death, and one that has note gone unnoticed by your comrades.
[Saerileth flies to you and throws her arms around you.] Art thou truly returned to me? Hath the avatar left thee?
What happened to me?
Thou wast transformed, beloved, into-an avatar of murder. [There is infinite pity mingled with the love in Saerileth's face.]
I could have killed you!
[Saerileth gently eases you into a sitting position and leans your head on her shoulder.] Peace, mine own. I am here with thee.
Can you *know* you'll be here with me? What if, next time, I-kill you? _{Actually the prospect doesn't bother me that much. Why am I saying these things? It's like I'm a ventriloquist's puppet around this girl...}
[Saerileth kneels facing you and locks her suddenly steel-blue gaze with yours.] Asim. [She places one hand on each of your cheeks, cradling your face.]
ah gad mah fasche is smrrshd leggo
I wouldst sooner die in thy company-even by thy hand-than to dwell apart from thee. Rest now, beloved.
Yes, Saerileth, I will.
I shall watch thee, Asim. Rest and have no fear. I shall spend the night watching by thy side, and mine orisons shall rise through the hours.
Asim... You are WEAK, Asim... Your futile attempts at resistance shall not succeed in keeping me at bay... I can take control whenever I want, Asim... Such as right now...
You wake suddenly, a pounding in your ears. A shock of pain passes through your body, and you feel you mind slipping away, forced aside by the darkness within.
I am here, beloved. I have watched by thy side. Art thou well? Thou seemest yet pale? [Saerileth reaches out to touch your cheek.]
Back away, Saerileth. I'm losing control.
Tyr defend us! Must it happen to thee again?

The uncertainty of your condition has obviously worried those you travel with. The quest is treacherous enough without having to worry about what you might do.

Exploriiiin'.

I once lost my way in the Hive. At night.
Fortune smiles upon you, Saerileth. A pretty little thing such as yourself, lost in the Hive, alone. And yet you survived to tell the tale.
Fortune had little to do with surviving the Hive. 'Twas my first week in the Cage, and I was on an errand from the holy fathers. I did not fully comprehend my danger, though shadows loomed and whispers were all about me.
Then a protector? Perhaps you believe Tyr guided and protected you.
Tyr guides me always, and his protection is constant. But I believe the answer is simpler. 'Twas ignorance.
I do not follow.
Boldly I walked the tangled, dark, filth-strewn streets of the Hive; I, a mere child. I knew not my danger, therefore I feared nothing. I escaped unscathed because I showed more confidence and bravery than I had cause to do.
Ah. For one to be in a place like that, it was reasonable to assume you were about the business of your master, and your master was a being of great power.
Aye. Had I known my peril, surely I would have been slain.

I totally do not get this at all. So if you don't know it's possible, you won't be raped and murdered? I think that's taking the whole quantum weirdness " OBSERVING IT MAKES IT TRUE " thing way too damn far.

Goddamn minotaurs.


The standing corpse was funny, though.


Anyhow, snagged another Minotaur Horn...

Took out some more critters...


And then... Wait, WHAT?
Alternate reality holy shiiit!


Oh, well these certainly are lovely.
You change him back. RIGHT. NOW.
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled Universe.

Anyway, we popped the two horns onto the statue and the door popped right on open.


We went through and were promptly shot at by annoying beasties with puny bows.


We killed off the critters and were accosted by some sort of apparition.

You wish to test me? But this place is derelict. The directors are dead.
The procedures laid down proceed regardless of time or circumstance. Such is the nature of this place. Protests are futile. This area works on its own, allowing the directors to watch in safety. You are here, and there is no other way out. You are sane enough to understand that. Now, when madness beckoned, how did you answer? Now comes the judgement, when we decide your fitness for life outside.
Very well, do as you must, specter. I will not protest if it is pointless.
Very good. Restraint is a good sign. Perhaps you are closer to release than I thought. We shall see.

I hate Myconids.



'Twas in the wood that I got it, so I sat me down to seek it. I could not find it no matter how hard I looked, and so I took it home with me. What is it?
A splinter?
Clarity! You see through the muttering to pull the single piece of intelligence within... a sign of sanity? Or of understanding madness? More questions amidst the secret places!

Popped out in the next room.

Found your way into the secret of places? What should we do with you?
Wandering to the edges of madness, did you expect to find sense and reason?
None in this place, no matter how thorough the searching.
To even suggest a thing from the departed and deranged...
Aye, it suggests imbalance even in the asking.
Then what is the proper fate?
Answer nonsense with nonsense. Let a backstep of logic move them forward.
No sense to be had. Let us see how far into the strangeness you can stride. Answer me this, and decide where you end.
It is better than the best of things and worse than the worst of things. You love it more than life. You fear it more than death. The rich have need of it, and the poor have it in endless supply.
Nothing
Giddy I am with the clarity of your perception, but free you are not. Have my fellows questions for this young madman?
That is more than certain. Another path of words to wander through and seek and end.
It runs as it will, but never does it walk. There is a mouth to see, but never does it talk. A bed it surely owns, but never does it sleep. Possesses it a head, but not a one that weeps.
A river
An answer that moves you forward, though only if you know where you began. Answer another from my kind to progress.
And know that there is no sense, progression is measured by a scale unknown. Move on, move on.
I make you weak at the worst of times, but in the end I keep you safe. You'll sweat in my presence even as you grow cold. I dwell with the weak, rarely the brave, but without me, who could tell the difference?
Fear
A success that moves you towards goals you cannot know. Does it satisfy? Who can say?
It does, though not enough. One last word-play to see if you think as we. Then you shall get what you could not have had. It brings back the lost as though never gone, shines laughter or tears, with light long since shone. A moment to make, a lifetime to shed, valued when, but lost when you're dead.
Memory
Your thoughts are clear and flowing, and free you are from here. Onward, to places secret and rewarding.
Yes, onward, and leave this festive place. You will see the unknown, and if willing, receive its gifts.
That makes very little sense at all.
Then it is more than I would have hoped from a room of the maddened dead.

Oh, and there was a cloak on the table in that room.

Came out here.

Some troll said something about "sacrifice" and how my bloody head would do, but I heard nothing of it, and so I took its head.
Threw it on this altar...

And got a little reward.

I forgot to identify it, so there's no screencaps, but it's just a club with variable +, this one's VS Undead, and we totally already have the IMoD, which is only the VS Undead weapon you need.


We shall see how this affects your final evaluation. You are to proceed to judgement when ready.
I am prepared to move to judgement.
Steel yourself. We go.


Who can say. It has been quite some time since the process has been refined. Really, I do not think you were intended to survive. But I will fulfill my purpose as best I can and use your own words to judge your fate. Your will is satisfactory. You have passed what test I had to offer. This session is now done. You are free.

And just to leave you with something...

That was a horribly disappointing level up.