Part 748: Let's Read Ghost War - Part 7
Let’s Read Mechwarrior Dark AgeA Brand New Era, A Brand New Saga!
GHOST WAR
a BattleTech novel
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR
MICHAEL A. STACKPOLE
Part 7
Chapter 16
The novel decides it’s going to remind us that it could’ve been a BattleTech novel but is shit instead by giving us a Pointless Combat Exercise moment, just like when Kai Allard Liao heroically shot up a water tower with Yen Lo Wang that one time!
No really, let’s compare them!
Stormcrow:
55 ton 6/9/0, XL engine, endo, 9.5 tons of FF armor, 23 tons of weapons and equipment.
Mad Cat III:
55 ton 6/9/0, XL engine, endo, 9 tons of FF armor, 23.5 tons of weapons and equipment.
Really, the only “remarkable” thing about the Mad Cat III is that it’s a 55 ton `Mech with a part of Artemis LRM-20s. Other than that it’s got a couple of medium lasers and some shitty back-up weapons. The only half-decent thing about the Mad Cat III is that one variant carries Ferro-Lamellor, which might’ve been pretty great if the Mad Cat III-X had more than 75% armor coverage (it doesn’t). Getting effectively 20% more armor isn’t all that beneficial if you’re sacrificing 25% of your efficient maximum to get it.
But I’m digressing. Mason is having a training exercise with Janella. At first I thought they were fighting each other since Mason’s shooting at a Centurion and when we last saw Janella in a BattleMech it was a Centurion (and Mason was going to be in the terribly shitty Dark Ages Black Hawk), but apparently she was just dicking around in it and left her good `Mech on Terra. Janella’s actually in a Tundra Wolf, the ugly piece of shit on the book’s cover and the real “iconic” ‘mech for Clickytech.
I’d talk about the Tundra Wolf a little but all you need to know is that it weighs 75 tons and the common Dark Age variant Janella uses needs an XL Engine to reach speeds of 3/5. It’s an underweight, fragile Dire Wolf.
But I’m digressing again. Mason’s named his shitty babby Timber Wolf the “Ghost.” Because you need a Ghost to carry a Ghost Knight into his Ghost War so he can make some Ghost Heat while doing Ghost Damage to Ghost Enemies in this Ghost Plot.
Janella’s Tundra Wolf is named “Andrea.” Named after her mother. Not creepy at all.
Some bullshit happens including Janella one-shotting a Catapult with her LRM-10 (lol) and they head back. Also the Mad Cat III, a design based on the Inner Sphere nickname of a Clan `Mech, has a nickname of its own. Apparently it’s the “Miffed Kitty.”
…
Goddamn it.
I keep waiting for something to happen this chapter but nope, time to spend three pages talking about the beauty of the desert. Then he hits on Janella and I care so little about any of this that the novel actually takes a moment to remind me to try to pay attention to it.
quote:
[A paragraph-length Stackpole sentence], eliminating distraction is vital. Focus. It’s all about focus.
Emphasis not mine.
Chapter 17
Mason and Janella have dinner with Janella’s parents. It is so hard to care about any of this, even when the phrase “the near orgasmic moaning that accompanies dessert” is used. Also, lolwhat?
Anyway, nothing of any interest happens and we’re back in the briefing room and oh hey Kitsune Kurita’s here.
Nothing happens this chapter. I’d say ‘character building’ but Mason’s pretty established, this is just padding.
Chapter 18
Things be bad in the Republic of the Sphere. Victor Steiner-Davion calls all humans everywhere unthinking idiots.
quote:
“I would challenge your assertion that we are really thinking creatures.”
quote:
“[…] While we can hope we are wise, most of mankind is barely sentient. When you look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs, it is concerned mostly with food, shelter, and reproduction.
And that’s a snake-eyes on that to-hit roll and Stackpole misses the point of Maslow's Hierarchy completely!
This is, of course, presented as absolute fact because Victor Davion is saying it (and, as he’s correcting the prior assertion of a female character I guess that means he’s mansplaining it too).
quote:
Janella arched an eyebrow. “You’re not trying to say that humans are cattle, are you, my lord?
“Not at all. Sheep is a preferable comparison because it allows for the existence of shepherds and wolves.”
So of course this is a segue into another analogy in which Mason is going to become a wolfhound. Because it’s Stackpole and he loves those. Hooray. This would all be pointless except at the end of the dinner that happens in this chapter (something like the fifth or sixth meal we’ve had in the past four chapters) Mr. Handy sends Sam Donnely AKA Mason Fuckface a job offer. HOW CONVENIENT!
Chapter 19
Mr. Handy is on Basalt, a minor world of no significance. Just like the plot of this book!
Nothing happens.
