Part 766: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 8
Let’s Read: Main Event (part 8)Chapter 8
Solaris City, Solaris
3 August 3054
Days elapsed since book start: 103
Mercenaries recruited since book start: 2
Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1
Things accomplished since book start: 0
Protagonists introduced since book start: 3
Protagonists mentioned but not yet introduced: 1
Antagonists introduced since book start: STILL 0
Chapters Spent on Northwind: 5
After
How, I don’t know, since Rose presumably came back to the bar straight from Mister Warwick’s. Bartender telepathy, maybe? The bartender is curious how things went; and Jeremiah momentarily contemplates murdering him.
… Wait, what?
Main Event posted:
Even after a second mouthful Dillon hadn’t moved from the spot, or given an indication that he was planning to. Rose looked around the bar and wondered if the comatose barman would be missed, but things were still slow at the Pelican.
Uh… buh… whaa?!
Anyway, the bartender asks if Mr. Warwick made an offer. Jeremiah says he did. We then get a lot more infodump about Warwick; who isn’t a noble but is instead a rich merchant. Warwick isn’t well loved in the Black Hills; which immediately makes Jeremiah feel smug and satisfied about his earlier choice to be a dickhead.
The Bartender then says that everyone on Solaris is either a Loser, a Fool, or a Shark; calls himself a fool, and proclaims that Jeremiah is either a Loser or a Shark. Nope, he’s a fool too.
quote:
“So, what about Warwick’s offer?” Dillon pressed.
Rose studied the other man for a moment, then decided to tell the truth. “I had to turn it down,” he said. Dillon let out a long breath that Rose hadn’t realized he’d been holding. (NOTE: What?!) “You ever meet a guy you knew at first glance that you were going to hate?” Dillon almost nodded, but it was his eyes that said yes. “That was Warwick. The fact that I made it through half a bowl of what was surely the best chowder I’ve ever tasted is testimony to the cook and my patience.”
…
Sure. Whatever.
The bartender then calls over a
She then earns some kudos-points in my book by accidentally uppercutting Jeremiah Rose.
Main Event posted:
Rose was still partially bent over the bar when Jaryl lifted one arm to brush the hair from her face. Perhaps the hair in her eyes obscured the fact that she was too close to Rose to bring her hand up that fast. Her left arm caught him under the chin, slamming his teeth together and catching the top of his tongue between the incisors.
We are then treated to another two-paragraph description of how beautiful Jaryl is. She has an eyepatch, which makes her awesome. She’s described as a “ravaged beauty,” as if the loss of an eye immediately makes her unsympathetic and/or ugly in the eyes of the reader, and I now vaguely recall that she’s about to get murdered.
Main Event posted:
“I can’t be altogether sure at this moment, Jaryl, but I believe I will be forever grateful to Dillon for introducing us.” He held out his right hand and tried, almost successfully, to suppress a cough.
See? Jeremiah can be almost civil sometimes. I mean, sure, he’s making nice with a woman with an eyepatch who may be a pirate, is certainly a Mechwarrior, and dresses like a 1940s criminal prostitute in red latex and leather; but she’s a total babe! She’s clearly far more trustworthy than the rich guy who was willing to just give Jeremiah a Charger for… what, an hour of real work fighting in the Solaris VII arena?
The bartender introduces Jeremiah as Mister Rose; and Jeremiah introduces himself as ‘Jeremiah, to my friends’; which I’m going to slip into the ‘unintentional jerk’ pile since he never told poor Dillon his first name. Jaryl is cautious at first until she learns that Rose hasn’t signed on with Mister Warwick (her competition for the championship).
Jaryl then immediately challenges Jeremiah to a drinking contest. The drink being, not the Steiner or Davion PPC, but something far worse than four shots of grain alcohol with two shots of something else to cut it.
Alongside a long, stupid story that hinges on there being pelicans on Solaris (there aren’t), The Pelican Shooter contains:
Main Event posted:
Before them were two tumblers, each half-filled with a brownish liquid Rose only guessed was alcohol. Celery, or onions, or something equally undesirable floated on top. As the crowd gathered closer, Dillon reached onto the tray and grabbed a sardine with each hand. He waved each fish above his head, prompting the crowd to cheer.
[…]
Dillon dropped one sardine into each drink and placed the tumblers in front of rose and Jaryl […] Dillon pulled a small lighter from out of an apron pocket and leaned close to Rose. […] Dillon flicked the lighter and passed the flame over each drink, which began to burn with the clear flame of an alcohol fire.
Someone needs to make art of that. Alternatively, I will give bonus points to anyone who makes (and drinks) a Pelican Shooter with double bonus points if you live (Note: please don’t actually try a Pelican Shooter; I don’t want anyone to die trying to drink a whole sardine).
Anyway, the point is the drink smells awful (and is ON FIRE); so Jeremiah taps into his SPACE MYSTIC abilities to, well… it’s stupid.
Main Event posted:
Closing his eyes and holding his breath, he opened his throat as wide as he could. He poured the drink down in a single smooth motion, barely feeling the fish slide over his tongue on the way to his stomach.
This actually works. You can drink like this. It’s really stupid and fairly dangerous, so I don’t recommend it.
Anyway, Jeremiah beats Jaryl handily, and she praises him—and somehow, his victory means that drinks are free in the bar that night; which is stupid but we’re supposed to feel good about Rose being able to drink fish.
Jaryl then tries to escape
Main Event posted:
Rose couldn’t understand the announcer’s words, which were in Chinese but might as well have been Greek as far as he was concerned.
Asshole.
Anyway, nobody in the Inner Sphere speaks Chinese anymore. The Capellans speak Capellan; which is based on Chinese but isn’t… and this is a point of contention that I have with the later Battletech books. The Capellan Confederation has its own language (that is not Chinese); but the assumption was made so often that it is Chinese that Chinese is now Capella’s national language. Honestly, if it was done simply to avoid confusing the Capellan language with the Capellan people, I wouldn’t mind—but it wasn’t. It was done on accident because hey, they’re Chinese, right? They all know Tai-chi or Kung Fu and wear slippers and robes and blah blah blah Space Racism.
Anyway, Jaryl then talks a bit about why nobody will sell Jeremiah a ‘Mech. It’s because he’s a complete unknown—he’ll make the bookies’ lives hell. That is the summary of over six paragraphs worth of infodump. We then learn that Jeremiah plans to leave in ten days, period; which is a ludicrously short turnaround.
… Hey, you know who makes ‘Mechs? Wolf’s Dragoons. And you know who sells ‘Mechs to mercenaries? Wolf’s Dragoons. And you know who runs Outreach? Wolf’s Dragoons.
Just saying.
We are then treated to a three page description of a fight between a Stalker and a Banshee-S (the Stalker wins, which is bullshit) on the holoscreen; but it doesn’t matter. One of Mr. Warwick’s minions turns up and shoots at Rose with a Gyrojet pistol, but he’s a terrible shot and hits Jaryl by mistake. Rose jumps across the table to try to save her but is probably responsible for pushing her in the way of the shot.
... she has an eyepatch on her left-e... y'know what? Fuck it. Good enough.
Then the chapter ends.