Part 775: Let's Read: Main Event - Part 17
Let’s Read: Main Event (part 17)Chapter 17
Harlech, Outreach
25 September 3054
Days elapsed since book start: 147
Mercenaries recruited since book start: 4
Mercenaries recruited off-screen: 1
Things accomplished since book start: 1 (
Protagonists introduced since book start: 5
Protagonists mentioned but not yet introduced: 1
Antagonists introduced since book start: 1
Antagonists defeated since book start: 0
Chapters spent on Northwind: 5
Chapters spent on Solaris: 10
Jeremiah has now, after less than 24 hours, gone through all of Rianna’s groundwork, discarding nearly all of it. Why did he let his baby sister start the recruiting process? Why does he let her do it again in the next book?
Because he’s too lazy to do any actual work himself. Aside from recruiting Hawg (and his Zeus (he recruited the Zeus and got Hawg too)), Jeremiah hasn’t let Rianna accomplish anything herself. Most of his warriors have fallen passively into his lap, and only four of them have semi-defined personalities.
A good author would’ve used the first third of the book to introduce each member, but that was clearly too pedestrian for Jim Long. Instead, he introduces characters over the span of a paragraph and gives them no recognizable personality. This propensity to create people devoid of any real personality can be clearly seen with the last person to join the Black Thorns this book, who could be replaced with a soggy mop and nobody would be the wiser.
So, it’s time for a rundown of the ‘varying’ personalities within the Black Thorns:
Jeremiah Rose - Dickhead, Glorious Leader, Mary Sue
Rianna Rose - SMERT
Angus - Non-entity (his personality is a complete lack of a personality, and Jeremiah admits to this.)
Badicus O’Shea - Action Scottsman (and the only character with any sort of emotional range)!
Esmeralda - Suspicious
Hawg - Crazy
Joining them is a new member: Ajax, who introduces himself by inviting Jeremiah to lunch. Ajax immediately begins
Main Event posted:
“I should probably warn you that what little Angus knows of me he has learned from my sister, the unit executive officer, and she barely knows me at all.”
“Yet they both trust you.”
Rose reflected briefly, then finally allowed that it was true. “You’re right, but I’m still not sure why they believe as strongly as they do.”
“Force of personality? Charisma? Perhaps divine favor. I cannot say, Captain. I can only say that I have seen its effects.”
Ajax then comments that the Black Thorns have doubled in number in two days, then pretends that Jeremiah was going to give Rianna credit for that (the only person she found was Hawg). He knows a lot (probably because he’s a sleeper Maskirovka agent (nothing will come of this)). Rose decides to accept Ajax provisionally, then bums a ride from him to check on the status of the Charger’s repair.
He immediately sees Esmeralda screaming at one of Wolf’s Dragoons’ techs with Rianna standing shoulder to shoulder with her while the rest of the Black Thorns pretend they’re not affiliated with this whole thing. Esmeralda’s not satisfied with the way they’re reattaching the Charger’s leg, so Jeremiah talks to Rianna about it because he’s certain it’s her fault.
Then one of Wolf’s Dragoons’ officers shows up, and Jeremiah immediately suspects the Dragoon of having impure thoughts about his sister. This lets us see exactly what sort of people have personalities that let them mesh with Jeremiah Rose.
Main Event posted:
“After all,” he continued, “such beauty deserves the best Wolf’s Dragoons has to offer.”
“Then why don’t you be a good boy and go find him. We could use a hand from the best.” […]
“Oh, such a sharp, pointed wit.”
“Oh, such a sharp, pointed head.” Esmeralda said, and Rose quickly stepped between them. The two were glaring at each other, the captain with obvious hate, Esmeralda with obvious amusement.
Yup. They’re dicks, too.
The Captain, angry, suggests that the Black Thorns are cannon fodder for the Clans to blow apart before they fight a real enemy. Rianna then drops this bombshell:
Main Event posted:
“Oh, will that be before or after the Dragoons betray us the way they turned traitor to their own Clan kind?”
Good God, Jeremiah, what have you been teaching your little sister?
Wait, screw that last question. What the fuck is wrong with Rianna’s nails?!
Jeremiah then plays ‘peacemaker’ and challenges the Dragoons to a Giant Robot Fight on their own practice field.
Jeremiah then tells everyone in the unit that they’re all probably going to ‘die’ a horrible, computer-simulated death because Wolf’s Dragoons are one of the best units in the Inner Sphere and the Black Thorns have never even had a chance to train together. Hell, Jeremiah’s Charger is still in multiple pieces.
After depressing them, he does his best to convince them that they’ll still win by immediately letting Esmeralda and Badicus come up with a plan based on maps of the field. I honestly don’t think Badicus can read a book, much less a map, but Rose leaves the planning in their hands so that way he’s completely distanced from what he suspects will be an inevitable defeat since they’re fighting 6:8 vs. heavier Dragoon lances.
Jeremiah then calls the Dragoon captain a pussy, and demands that someone who isn’t busy fixing his ‘Mech or doing all the planning for him drive him to the airport so he can
Then the chapter ends.