Part 823: Battlemechs are Awesome commercials sponsored by Defiance Industries - Panther

Well... speaking of Panthers...

[Found this in our latest batch of intel on the Combine. Though it would be good for a laugh. -Colonel Morgan Kell]

Hello, most respected soldiers of the Draconis Combine Mustered Soldiery. I am but a humble representative of Alshain Weapons, and I would beg to have your time for an episode of...

BattleMechs are Respectfully Awesome, brought to you by Alshain Weapons.
Alshain Weapons: We Humbly Invite you to Dine With Your Ancestors.

Today's episode: the PNT-9R Panther.



Since 2759, the Dragon has honored us by using the Panther as one of the standard Light mechs of the DCMS. It's combination of practical design, affordable pricing and having a PPC on its right arm allow the Pillar of Steel to continue its unending string of victories against the Coordinator's enemies without placing an undue burden on the modest, hard-working people of the Combine.

The PNT-9R is built around the Lord's Light PPC. This magnificent weapons system is named in honor of the rightful First Lord, Coordinator Takashi Kurita, and with it our warriors may bring the glorious, enlightened rule of the Draconis Combine to the rest of the Inner Sphere at ranges of up to 540 meters. To ensure the Dragon's enemies do not wish to close with the design, we have added a Telos Four-Shot SRM launcher. When they are not safe at range, or close by, the only option the Dragon's enemies have is to flee. Truly, how can our enemies expect to defeat such a design?

To demonstrate the mercy of the Coordinator, the Panther travels at only 64.8 km/h. Anything faster would render the design completely unstoppable, and thus causing the Warriors of the Dragon to become complacent. This could not be allowed. However, the design does boast a jump radius of 120 meters, ensuring that terrain is no obstacle when bringing the Wisdom of the Dragon to our enemies.

Some may claim that in 2739, we fielded a PNT-8Z that used a large laser in place of the PPC, and that it had to be scrapped due to severe design problems that shelved the design for twenty years. These people are agents of the Yellow Bird. Davion and Steiner wish for you to have uncertainty in the design of the Panther, for they know there is no other way to defeat the Warriors of the Dragon. If you find anyone claiming that the PNT-8Z existed, please report them to the nearest office of the Friendly Persuaders.

Remember that the Panther is a cornerstone design of the Pillar of Steel. Any requests to be reassigned to a heavier or more mobile machine will result in your discharge from the DCMS and your family being relegated to the Unproductives, where your wife will prostitute herself to support your worthless self and your now-equally-worthless children. Being allowed to pilot this fine design is an honor the Coordinator has granted you. Do not squander it.

Now, Warriors of the Dragon, go forth and bring the rule of House Kurita to the weak Steiners and the hated Davions, and look forward to the day when all the Inner Sphere recognizes Takashi Kurita as First Lord of the Star League!

This briefing courtesy of Alshain Weapons.
Alshain Weapons: Striking our enemies' faces with the coin purse of the Dragon.