Part 838: Battlemechs are Awesome commercials sponsored by Defiance Industries - Chameleon

Back-to-School BattleMech guide!
Brought to you by Defiance Industries: ruling the school in style.
Featured Mech: the Chameleon

A well-dressed gentleman sits in an equally well-appointed office before a window obscured by a curtain. From the sounds of pneumatic drills, welders, and conveyor belts, his office overlooks an assembly line. He turns in his chair to face the camera and smiles.

"Oh, you're just in time. I'd like to talk to all the Academy instructors out there. When was the last time you caught flak from the Department of Military Education because one of your graduates did something like this?"

A quick cut to a video of a Phoenix Hawk in desert camo charging over a sand dune, large laser blazing. The Mech's running speed drops off until it slows to a crawl before stopping completely, sagging to one side as its reactor shuts down from heat. The pilot can be heard yelling "My large laser and running is supposed to leave me at heat-neutral! What's going on?"

"What about this?"

A Valkyrie takes a stray hit to its left leg and every joint on the leg seizes up simultaneously. The machine tumbles to the ground, then attempts to get up. The second it tries to put weight on its left leg, the machine hits the ground again. The pilot shouts "My leg is still attached, why the hell can't I stand on it?"

Our host raises a hand, as if the viewer could protest directly to him, before continuing. "Now, I know you can't be expected to graduate elite pilots out the gate, particularly if they are only there for a one or two-year rotation. But maybe part of the problem is that you're in need of specialized training equipment to prepare your cadets for situations like these. That's why Defiance Industries produces... the Chameleon."

Pulling back the curtain, the gentleman reveals a row of Chameleons rolling single-file by his office, Defiance's assembly line joining completed torso with a finished right arm assembly before rolling on past the viewer. "The Chameleon has been the premier training mech since the days of the Terran Hegemony, and we at DefHes are proud to be providing such a valuable service to the Academies that groom the defenders of our nation into future heroes. Some people might say that we at Defiance don't build the Chameleon. Those people are probably Davions who were only PRETENDING to read whatever rag said that. We've been building it since 2510 and have no plans to stop, unless we think we can provide even better service to our many training facilities. That, however, is a tall order."

"You see, the Chameleon is fitted with special override equipment to simulate unusual scenarios in training exercises. That Phoenix Hawk pilot would have been prepared for the scorching desert heat of Vega if he'd trained in a Chameleon with the heat sink efficiency manually reduced by 30%. And the Valkyrie pilot? You can lock up actuators without destroying them, so he'd have been able to practice getting up from that fall as many times as necessary without your academy's technical staff having to replace three leg actuators at once in the aftermath. You can even fit our optional cosmetic modules to the exterior to mock up the appearance of enemy mechs that your academy might otherwise rely on salvage to field.*"

*Cosmetic armor baffles and heat diffusers sold separately. Contact your local Defiance Industries representative or the Lyran Commonwealth Department of the Quartermaster for pricing details.

The representative then abruptly drops a tiny model Chameleon onto the desk, fitted with tiny model cosmetic modules to look like an Orion. "See that? We can do that, but full-sized. And hey, if your world comes under attack, the Chameleon can bring it on the battlefield, too. You like lasers? Good, cause it has a large laser, two medium lasers, and three small lasers. Throw in two machine guns in case some infantry gets sassy and you have a machine that can mix it up. Need a Mech that can get up and go? The Chameleon has a top speed of almost 100 km/h and jumps 180 meters. Pretty much anything you want, it'll do."

Gesturing to the production line behind him, the gentleman continues. "As you can see, we're moving these machines along as fast as we can. Demand is high, so don't hesitate. Get in touch with us today and order your academy a lance of Chameleons. And if someone tells you there's a better training platform, they're probably working for Irian."



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