Part 4: Chapter IV: Fetcheth Ye Olde Thesauruse

So, now we're controlling this engine of destruction. Sweet deal. Let's see what the monsters around here are like.



HOLY GOD WE'RE FIGHTING TYRANNOSAURS



Zauruses are simple enough. Hit like trucks, use Devour to drain your HP, counter most of your attacks. The eggs thing won't be relevant for a long, long time.

Let's see how we fare against these things.



We are slicing up Tyrannosaurs with a blade made of pure energy. This game just got at least twice as manly.



This is the game's way of re-iterating that Fou-Lu is crazy powerful.



After a bit of walking and Tyrannosaur genocide, we emerge from the forest to find a pair of guards.



: "What...what be ye doing in this place?"

: "Huh? Who're you!?"

: "They say a dragon or something's supposed to appear tonight, so we were told to watch this area."



: "They say it's the legendary Dragon of Doom, which will bring ruin to the Empire!"

: "And...What be thy design for this dragon?"

: "We will destroy it, of course! Nothing can withstand the might of the Imperial Army!"

: "Thou believest thou can do such a thing? Thou art but mere mortals."



This will end well for Dragon Bait and Dessert, here.





The ball of light floats into the sky, and explodes into a vortex.









Hey, that looks a little familiar!

: "Thou dost not ken the power of that which you would destroy. This be a dragon. A dragon 'tis force of nature unto itself. Thou mayest as well seek to fight a volcano or the very earth itself! Dragons doth give birth to thy kind, grant thee life, and verily taketh it away. They are to thee as thou art to an insect. In thy terms..."



Fou-Lu dismissively waves a hand towards the poor mooks.













The dragon rears back...



And opens up a can of whoop-ass.





Halfway across the planet, a man awakens with a start.





Back where the action is, the dragon flies off into the night.



: "It is not the nature of mortals to change their ways..."

Goodbye, Dragon Bait and Dessert. We hardly knew ye. Now you're a smoldering crater.



After knife-fighting some more Tyrannosaurs and a bit more traveling, Fou-Lu comes across a strange sight.



: "Pardon my presumption, but I believe you are the God Emperor Fou-Lu...Yes?"



The darkness melts away.

: "I have been expecting you...ever since I saw the flames rising from the woods where I had placed my soldiers on watch."

Wow, they really WERE Dragon Bait.

: "Thou sayest thou wert waiting for us? Thou knowest of us and what we are then?"

: "Yes, Your Majesty. You are the first Emperor, Fou-Lu, who founded our great Fou Empire."



That explains the crazy high levels. The Fou Empire was founded over 600 years before the start of the game.



Fou-Lu shoots a blade of energy at the tiny man who looks bizarrely like the Heat Miser's grandpa.

: "And knowing this, thou wouldst greet us with malice in thine heart and thine blade in hand?"





Boss Video I: Kham





Fou-Lu stumbles a bit and clutches his chest, apparently exhausted from that curb stomp.

: "You appear tired, Majesty. It is to be expected I suppose - you have just awoken from a long, long sleep, and you are not exactly...complete, are you?"

: "T'would appear thou dost mean not to fulfill thine duty, as thou art called upon to do by our promise?"

Soldiers start to file in from all sides.



: "For now, we would have you sleep once more."

: "I wouldst call thee foolish...but thou art mortal. Thou cannot go against thy nature, no more than a fish could walketh upon the firmament."



Fou-Lu suddenly leaps up to a high ledge.

: "Still...thou wilt find that our promise art not easily broken. Return then to thine master and tell him our words!"



With that, he fades into the forest.





: "We must stop him before he recovers his full strength."

I gotta admit, I have respect for a villain who doesn't fuck around.



The crossbowmen begin firing volleys of flaming bolts into the forest, which quickly catches fire.



: "They wouldst use fire against us? Indeed, planned well have they."



Walking down the path, we suddenly spy a burning tree.





Crap. Time to go the other way, then.



Oh joy, the other way led to more faceless goons.



: "You Majesty has a strong affinity to water, yes? And, with your powers not fully returned, it is unlikely that you will be able to survive battle with my creations in this raging fire."

Dude knows when you are trying to kill a god, you need more contingency plans than freaking Batman.









Yohm summons Kham's hand to Falcon Punch Fou-Lu clean off the bridge, which shatters and begins to burn.



A villain who doesn't write off a guy who fell off a cliff as dead? My God, Yohm is so competent it hurts.