Part 7: Chapter 6 Part 2

Awwww yeah. Now THIS is what I'm talking about!
Forget it! We hadn't the time to mist into houses like I wanted to, so we're NOT stopping at some cheap watering hole.
awwwwwww


Herbalist's shop?! Now THIS I can get behind!
Oh no. No no no.


Yeah, so here we are. Selma is so excited she started an impromptu knit.


As opposed to HEAVILY magical items, which are sold by fancier but snarky Herbalistas. At least it's not a starbucks.


Yes, this is another door that you must close or face a score reduction for not being sneaky enough. This door to a business. That's still open.


Once inside, we immediately start making fun of the merch.

There are five items of value in the store. Will we grab all of them? Oh yes. Will we pay? Oh no. Is there even an OPTION to pay? Can we even give the store owner the money we stole from before? Please. What is this, amateur hour? We are FEDERAL AGENTS. We TAKE what we NEED. And what do we need?


Well, this charm.


This uh, drug.


A potion. Jeez, we could be a LITTLE more descriptive, guys


And finally, some healing powder.

I'm not going to lie, guys. I've beaten this game with every agent, and I have never found a use for ANY of this stuff.

The potion is a love potion, the charm is a warding charm, the drug is a sleeping drug, and the healing powder is I guess what it says? I've never found out where it lets you use ANY of this stuff.

So uh, hooray? Maybe this playthrough will be the one! That said, I think the other teams are just gonna skip on taking them. Their inventories are cluttered enough as it.


Hey, what the father don't see can't hurt him! And this stuff looks like it has some serious resell value!
I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE, LAD


So here's the owner. Sweet lady I guess.

She's probably wondering who we are and why we're taking all her stuff and if we'll leave before we hurt somebody.

Myra: Are you from that new health collective that started up last month? Let me show you what we've got.


Hehehe "be rude" is too tempting to pass up.


Uh... Father Blank?
Aye, lad! I'm able to possess the bodies o' other to do the work of the Lord!
Like... making fun of herbal shop tellers?
The Lord works in mysterious ways, son! Do ye really wish to anger me?
Good point! Carry on!

Agent: What do you have??
Myra: We carry a full line of herbal healing agents, along with a variety of beautification products, scores of different teas, and hundreds of different herbs and potions! What can I show you?

Agent: Do you have anything magical?
Myra: Yes. we carry a full selection of ingredients for potions, ritual spells, and unctions of all sorts. All of the highest quality. If your spell doesn't work,
there's something wrong with your approach, not with our ingredients. Interested?
witch: Seems a bit cocky of you. No, nothing for me, thanks.


(there is in fact a witch-only dialogue here where you can namedrop Veronica Cotton, and the lady says "Oh! You know her too?! She says never to use her name since it'll make it easier for her enemies to find her!" It probably goes without saying that that is impossible to use, never comes up, and talking to this woman at all is totally unnecessary. It's also really stupid. Oh hey, you know this person? Ha ha then obviously you know that she never wants you to do exactly what you just did!)


Oh you'd love it. It's a special blend that I whipped up. It's a mixture of chamomile and ledum teas, which is pretty standard. The tricky part is the brewing process. Brew too long and it gets bitter. You know what I mean.

Who are you calling bitter?!
Calm down dear, I think what you ne-
YOU GET AWAY FROM ME


spells?
Myra: Uh... yes? (this actually gives you the "yes we have a full selection of..." dialogue, but it's still a pretty bug-eyed stupid question so I wanted to show it off)

So... what else? Hm, what's on her desk there?



Oooo. Shiny!


Gh'!

So yeah as soon as you pick up the amulet, a face appears in it and thinks we want to meet with her. It probably goes without saying that this is VERONICA COTTON.

It only goes without saying because this is my LP and I am directing you towards her. There is NO in-game indication that that is who it is, and you're likely to get this only because you picked it up because it was lighter than the surrounding environment. Nobody ever references this.

This is also a screw-uppable conversation. The only right answer is "agree with her", which prompts this:



You can also "identify yourself"


ARGH. Can we SERIOUSLY not go through ONE update without blowing our cover? Of our super-secret organization that MUST REMAIN A MYSTERY?


possibly want with me?

Yes, what could we possibly want with you, a rogue black witch who showed up on a "drone list" by a sentient, malevolent AI virus?

WHAT INDEED.


(no she isn't)

Witch: I haven't got time for you inane questions. Leave me alone.

And she vanishes! Fortunately, just talk to the pendant again to restart the conversation.

This brings up an interesting, annoying point about the game. One thing that can get old in these adventure games is navigating the discussion trees to find out every conversation possiblity. You know what, as it turns out, is even more annoying? The fact that in most conversations you get ONE shot at any particular branch, no matter how much that branch sub-branches from that point on!

You'll NEVER KNOW which path gives you the good info, and which ones are useless, because ONE path gives you useful info, and odds are GREAT you'll pick the wrong one first. Then it's gone forever unless your other agent asks it, and it wasn't a character-specific conversation, and you don't feel like saving and loading 20 times per inane conversation.

So anyway, we head outside to meet our guide, who will take us to Veronica.


You know, I used to have some dignity. When I was a mighty warrior for my tribe. Before I chased magic cats in the suburbs.
Really? Because I was wondering about your naming convention, and how it relates to your tribe. See, the Sioux that I know choose names based on...
OH HEY look the kitty is running! We better go catch it!


This cat. Is so. Slow. And if you ever outpace it it RESETS. You have to to BACK and wait for it AGAIN. This part. Is so. Slow.


How far do we follow him? Why...



All the way back to the RV, where we instantly know that he's going to the cemetery! I guess... it's close? Or in a direction that not many other things lie in?


Ha ha what


So... it's headed uptown? But you know it can ONLY be going to the cemetery? The cemetery is UPTOWN? I guess this is a small town, and maybe it's in a public park or something? Bah, whatever. Let's go


Baaaack heeeere. You know this is autodrive, so how does it follow the cat, instead of just smushing it while it speeds off?


And we follow that stupid cat at all the way to where we were about 36 screenshots ago. NOW we know this damn house is here. Let's see what it's like, this pit of darkness.


Huh. That looks.... cozy

And in fact:











(As a side note, that is an incredibly creepy sentiment. That is not what unlocked means. That is what sitting on the porch saying hello means.)

But! What if we get FATHER BLANK (or Selma) to investigate?