Part 16
You'll find out next update. Which comes - right now!t_rf posted:
Is it possible to be violent in this game? Say, punch the nerd?
(The answer is disappointing.)
Ok, now it's time to cut the parachute off.quote:
Hanging From A Tree
You are hanging upside down by your parachute from the branches of a tree.
>look at tree
It's the ordinary sort of jungle tree; one would normally expect it to be occupied by various exotic fruits and animals. Instead, it seems to have a not terribly cheerful Happitec executive-designate in its branches.
>climb down
You are attached.
You're beginning to feel normal again.
That seems a bit under-described.quote:
>cut strap
[with the hacksaw]
You cleverly snip the parachute's straps with the hacksaw, and immediately plummet towards the ground below.
Splash!
Cooking Pot
You are in a cooking pot beneath the tree from which you were previously hanging. The force of your impact seems to have emptied the pot. There is a tribe of Zalagasans dancing around the pot, chanting "Z-BUG! Z-BUG!"
[Your score just went up.]
>look at zalagasans
They look like extras from a "Tarzan" movie.
>say "z-bug"
[The word "z-bug" hasn't been approved for use in this story.]
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
>out
You are prevented from leaving by the Zalagasans.
...this all seems a bit under-implemented.quote:
>hello zalagasans
The Zalagasans don't respond.
>i
You're holding an airline magazine, $57.50, a wallet (containing a Beezer card and a US Excess card), an envelope containing a memo, a coupon booklet, a flyer, a damaged painting of Ronald W. Reagan, a Popular Paranoia magazine, your passport, your Boysenberry computer, a small case (containing a recipe cartridge and an eclipse predicting cartridge) and a hacksaw. You're wearing a digital wristwatch, and you have a Swiss army knife in your pocket.
>show magazine to zalagasans
Which magazine do you mean, the airline magazine or the Popular Paranoia magazine?
>airline
You can't show things to the Zalagasans.
>look at pot
It's an ordinary looking cannibal's cooking pot. You can see them any day of the week in Islington, with cheeseplants in.
You're beginning to feel normal again.
>z
Time passes.
>z
Time passes.
>z
Time passes.
>z
Time passes.
>z
Time passes.
>look
Cooking Pot
You are in a cooking pot beneath the tree from which you were previously hanging. The force of your impact seems to have emptied the pot. There is a tribe of Zalagasans dancing around the pot, chanting "Z-BUG! Z-BUG!"
>dance
[The word "dance" hasn't been approved for use in this story.]
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
>get out
You are prevented from leaving by the Zalagasans.
The InvisiClues hint book for this section is titled, "I died in the cooking pot. What happened?" I'm nowhere close to dying.quote:
>look at tree
It's the ordinary sort of jungle tree; one would normally expect it to be occupied by various exotic fruits and animals. Instead, it seems to have a chewed-up Chowmail OverNite parachute in its branches.
>look at parachute
You can't see any parachute here.
>empty pot
You can't possibly empty the cooking pot.
>climb out
You are prevented from leaving by the Zalagasans.
>rock pot
[This story isn't allowed to recognise the word "rock."]
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
The first hint is, "Notice that the Zalagasans have computers." I don't see any computers anywhere. (We'll find out why the Zalagasans all have computers later.)
Either this part was never finished, or I hit a bug where it doesn't trigger the cannibals' actions here, so they just stand around while I sit in the pot and rot.
Fortunately, this isn't fatal, it just turns a dramatic puzzle into a pretty boring one. I can still solve the puzzle:
...that was a pretty lame transition, too.quote:
>look at recipe cartridge
This cart doesn't look at all like the authorised Boysenberry carts you've bought before. Its plastic case is poorly molded, and lacks the familiar logo of a partially digested purple berry.
From the single word printed on the cheap white label, you deduce that this is a recipe program. That is because the word on the label is "RECIPE".
>put it in computer
The recipe cartridge slips into your Boysenberry computer with a thrilling little click...
Your screen goes blank.code:
BCDOS 1.0 All diagnostics completed Press any key to boot... [Midnight Recipe Projekt RAGOUT "REINE DE L'AFRIQUE" Take one medium llama, peeled, 8 pecks garlic, 15 bushels STALE celery, 2 pounds shallots, 10 bushels carrots, onions, turnips, snails, worms, lard, helium, nematodes, gristle and earth to taste. Boil llama till bored, add other stuff and stir until congealed. Decorate with greenish milk curds. Serves one small aeroplane.]
The entire tribe go into an ecstatic frenzy. They grab the cartridge from your computer and run off to try it out on their Boysenberry. One kindly soul, remorseful at taking your cartridge without compensation, gives you another one.
"Maybe you'll like this." He also hands you an address book. "If you see that nerdly fellow, give him this. He dropped it here just now."
[Your score just went up.]
You're beginning to feel normal again.
>out
You get out of the pot while the Zalagasans are busy cataloguing their missionary and explorer recipe for the upcoming National Geographic article. Stumbling along, you fall into a hole, and end up in a grubby antechamber underground.
Grubby Antechamber
You're in a foul, unkempt antechamber which smells strongly of old socks. There's a closed locker door in the west wall, and an exit to the east. It's not at all clear how you managed to end up here; there's no trace of whatever entrance you used.
Before exploring this chamber, let's take a look at all that stuff the Zalagasans gave us:
The bits in bold aren't printed by the game - the screen actually fills up with unintelligible text when you type that. What actually happens is that the text overlays whatever's already there, so that typing PRINTB followed by PRINTC has a slightly different effect than the reverse.quote:
>look at cartridge
It's an unlabelled cartridge for your Boysenberry computer.
>put it in computer
The unlabelled cartridge slips into your Boysenberry computer with a thrilling little click...
Your screen goes blank.code:
BCDOS 1.0 All diagnostics completed Press any key to boot... [Type the name of a command, followed by a carriage return. ? or HELP gets this listing; DIR lists other commands. QUIT turns computer off. DIR listing follows. Command list: CLEAR: Clear the screen NOOZ PRINTB PRINTC PRINTD PRINTE] [Command: NOOZ] [ The Strange and Terrible History of Bureaucracy Once upon a time Douglas Adams and Steve Meretzky collaborated on a game called "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy." Everyone wanted a sequel, but Douglas thought it might be fun to do something different first. He called that something "Bureaucracy," and wanted Marc Blank to work on it with him. Of course, Marc was busy, and Douglas was busy, and by the time they could both work on it, they were too busy to work on it. So, Jerry Wolper got a free trip to Las Vegas to talk to Douglas about it before it was decided to let it rest for a while instead. Jerry decided to go back to school, so Marc and Douglas spent some time on Nantucket looking at llamas, drinking Chateau d'Yquem, and arguing about puzzles. Nothing much happened for a while, except that Marc and Douglas got distracted again. Paul DiLascia decided to give it a try, but changed his mind and kept working on Cornerstone. Marc went to work for Simon and Schuster, and Paul went to work for Interleaf. Jeff O'Neill finished Ballyhoo, and, casting about for a new project, decided to take it on, about the time Jerry graduated. Jeff got a trip to London out of it. Douglas was enthusiastic, but busy with a movie. Progress was slow, and then Douglas was very busy with something named "Dirk Gently." Jeff decided it was time to work on something else, and Brian Moriarty took it over. He visited England, and marvelled at Douglas's CD collection, but progress was slow. Eventually he decided it was time to work on something else. Paul made a cameo appearance, but decided to stay at Interleaf instead. So Chris Reeve and Tim Anderson took it over, and mucked around a lot. Finally, back in Las Vegas, Michael Bywater jumped (or was pushed) in and came to Boston for some serious script-doctoring, which made what was there into what is here. In addition, there were significant contributions from Liz Cyr-Jones, Suzanne Frank, Gary Brennan, Tomas Bok, Max Buxton, Jon Palace, Dave Lebling, Stu Galley, Linde Dynneson, and others too numerous to mention. Most of these people are not dead yet, and apologise for the inconvenience.] [Command: PRINTB] [(The screen fills up with unintelligible text.)] [Command: PRINTC] [(The unintelligible text changes.)] [Command: PRINTD] [(The unintelligible text changes again.)] [Command: PRINTE] [(The unintelligible text changes some more.)] [Command: QUIT]
[Your blood pressure just went up.]
Sounds like my address book, but better check:quote:
>look at address book
This is an open loose-leaf address book. In common with many loose-leaf address books, most of the pages are loose and have fallen out. There are only two or three left. Most of these are stuck together with jam, chewing gum or an unpleasant combination of both.
Damn that hacker! He defaced my address book! He will pay for this... oh, yes, he will.quote:
>read first page
This page is labelled NAME AND ADDRESS OF OWNER. You see
RANDOM Q HACKER
5 RAINBOW TURTLE Vista
Rhinoceros, NJ 81818
643-8141
which has been crossed out (aren't you glad you moved?). Under that you see
Philaboy Q. Huxley
111 35th
Buttcrackistan, AK 55555
351-7271
There's also a notice on this page which says, "If lost, please return this
address book to the owner at the above address. $25 reward."
(The rest of the book is the same, so I won't bother pasting that.)
Ok, so we have a fairly baffling program and a defaced address book. Let's leave them until we need them, and take a look at this cave we found ourselves in:
Ok. This seems pretty straightforward - just follow the pattern on the sign, always turning two handles at once. Right now they're all pointing downwards. Assuming that 1 is up and 0 is down, I need to get the middle handle pointing upwards.quote:
>look at locker
[the locker door]
The door is closed. There are three handles on the door, arranged in a row. The left handle is pointing up. The middle handle is pointing down. The right handle is pointing up. There's also a sign attached to the door.
>read sign
The sign contains the rather arcane text:
010
100
001
111
and nothing else. You wonder why it doesn't just say Locker 2417.
>open locker
[the locker door]
The locker door seems to be locked.
>push left handle down
Toying in this way with the left handle is not permitted in this story without prior written consent, in triplicate, from Infocom, Inc.
>turn left handle
All of the handles wiggle a little, but none of them turns.
>pull left handle
These handles seem more as if they're meant to be turned.
>turn middle handle
All of the handles wiggle a little, but none of them turns.
>turn right handle
All of the handles wiggle a little, but none of them turns.
>turn left handle and right handle
The left handle is now pointing down.
The right handle is now pointing down.
Although the handles turn, you don't hear anything.
HEY! YOU! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN STEAL MY PERSONAL INFORMATION WITH IMPUNITY?quote:
>turn middle handle
All of the handles wiggle a little, but none of them turns.
The ghastly nerd reappears at your side, peering myopically through his filthy Coke-bottle spectacles. "There you are!" he whines. "I've got something I know you'll want. A real Star Trek phaser! Only 58 bucks!"
Fuck him.quote:
>ask nerd about address book
"Talk is cheap," whines the nerd. "What about my 58 bucks?"
>show address book to nerd
The nerd glances at the address book. "I don't want that," he whines. "I want 58 bucks!"
>kill nerd
Attacking the nerd isn't likely to help matters.
The nerd waves the real Star Trek phaser impatiently. "C'mon, lady. 58 bucks! A bargain!"
Sounds like UP, DOWN, UP was correct, meaning that UP is actually 0 and DOWN is actually 1. (In fact, it's pretty easy to show that you can never get from UP-DOWN-UP to DOWN-UP-DOWN only moving two handles at once, so we would've been completely stuck otherwise.)quote:
>turn left handle and right handle
The left handle is now pointing up.
The right handle is now pointing up.
You hear a click inside the door.
The nerd stumbles out of sight with the real Star Trek phaser. "I'll be back," he threatens.
I immediately became convinced that if I carried this card around without the utmost care, it'd become demagnetized somehow and I'd never get through whatever door it unlocks. But no - that's Planetfall.quote:
>turn left handle and middle handle
The left handle is now pointing down.
The middle handle is now pointing up.
You hear a click inside the door.
>turn left handle and right handle
The left handle is now pointing up.
The right handle is now pointing down.
You hear a click inside the door.
>turn left handle and middle handle
The left handle is now pointing down.
The middle handle is now pointing down.
You hear a sharp click, as if something inside the door had moved.
>open door
The locker door swings open.
[Your score just went up.]
>look in locker
[the locker door]
Little can be seen from where you are.
The snivelling, ratty and ineffectual nerd stumbles into view again. "There you are!" he whines. "I've got something I know you'll want. A set of rare hackers' log-file disks! Only 58 bucks!"
You're beginning to feel normal again.
>enter locker
[the locker door]
"Hey! Wait!" cries the nerd. "Would you like to go out with me?"
Locker
You're in a large locker. The exit is an open locker door to the east.
There's a magnetic key-card on the floor.
>get key card
You pick up the magnetic key-card.
>look at it
It's a standard sort of plastic key-card with a magnetic stripe. It's embossed with the letters "R.Q.H."
Wander around randomly all you want (or even methodically) - you'll get the same thing every time. The numbers always increase, but not in any easily discernable pattern, and once you get around 140 or so, the next exit you take leads you back to the antechamber.quote:
>e
Grubby Antechamber
>e
Switchgear Room 10
You are in a switchgear room, with exits in all directions. Inscribed on the wall is the number 10.
You hear a hatefully familiar whine close at hand. "There you are!" he whines. "I've got something I know you'll want. A digital tooth meter! Only 58 bucks!"
>w
"Hey! Wait!" cries the nerd. "Would you like to go out with me?"
Switchgear Room 40
You are in a switchgear room, with exits in all directions. Inscribed on the wall is the number 40.
>n
Switchgear Room 62
>n
Switchgear Room 83
>n
Switchgear Room 115
>n
Switchgear Room 137
>n
Grubby Antechamber
In fact, there is a pattern, just a very subtle one, so theoretically it shouldbe possible to solve the maze just by watching which exits go to which numbers. If anyone's ever done this, they are WAY too in to this - far easier just to solve the unlabelled cartridge puzzle and get the hidden message that tells you how to get through.
Which we'll do next update. Which comes - later this afternoon, before my next train comes!