Introduction

Let's Play CID The Dummy

In a world obsessed with safety, the once lowly Crash Impact Dummy (CID) has risen to a position of great importance amongst us. His day job; crashing, smashing, checking, re-checking and re-re-checking everything from lemonade to escalators in order to make the world a better place. Now, the inventor of the Crash Impact Dummy, Professor B.M. Werken, has lost his daughter, MIA, and has chosen CID The Dummy to rescue her.

Sounds great right? That's an excerpt taken right from the manual. The idea of a sentient crash dummy saving the day really appealed to my weird sense of taste, so as soon as I saw this game, I bought it immediately on impulse. It turned out that almost no one played the damn thing, in spite of its release on four platforms, and there are no existing full playthroughs... until now.

So what's the game even like?

CID is a 3D platformer with a lot of problems. The game design feels like a wish-list of things the developer's wanted to implement if only they knew how, and even when things do work properly on more than a conceptual level, they're very frustrating. It's not a fun experience and certainly not recommended for the average consumer, or even the average fan of weird platformers. However, it is possible to get good at the game -as I've found out- so if you have the patience and curiosity, it's not as insurmountable as it may seem.

On the presentation side of things, the game is dark and groggy. I feel that this may be intentional, but it also unintentionally makes the player depressed. The color palette is very gray and the 8 world types are very generic. Halfway through the second level you start to wonder if there's anything more, and depending on how long you go, that answer may vary only slightly.

Redeeming qualities?

I feel guilty talking about a game the developers clearly cared deeply about it like it needs "redeeming qualities" to save it, but that's where we are. There isn't much CID The Dummy excels at. The music generally matches the mood of the various worlds precisely, some cute gimmicks in the level design pan out reasonably well, and there're a few mildly surprising easter eggs and other non-essential details. I was struggling for like five minutes to find three positive things to type there.

So why play it?

The same reason I played Hidden Invasion and Deep Black: posterity. CID The Dummy is a game few people have seen or ever will see, and the ending and final level have never been recorded. It's time to fix that.


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I'm meant to do more, I just know it!