The Let's Play Archive

Chrono Cross

by The Dark Id

Part 2: Episode I: Dreams Are Weird...

First things first, you should probably watch this. It is a very nice intro movie.


Chrono Cross: Introduction




Our story abruptly begins in a fantasy fortress. You can always tell fantasy fortresses apart from regular stock fortresses by the unnecessary architecture. It stands to reason the structure in the middle is some forbidden ancient keep someone or other wants people to stay out of, hence the steep canyon based location. Yet it has a bottomless pit surrounding it. In the real world people would build their hidden citadel in a remote canyon and call it a day. But no... Those fantasy jerks always have to go the extra mile with the moats or the lava pits or the grue filled mazes.


So, what are we doing in this dragon centric fortress? That's a good question. This section of the game is a bit special so let's just roll with the punches, shall we?


Suddenly an obese shirtless chef, a gay pirate, and a prostitute arrive on an elevator.

So hey, remember how Drakengard had ear raping dissonance tunes? Chrono Cross is bizarro Drakengard in that department as its OST is fucking fantastic and I wouldn't want to omit it from the proceedings. I'll try to post the accompanying music for areas. Enjoy:
Area Music: Between Life and Leath (Usually the Boss Battle Theme)


The scantily clad blonde and the rotund gourmand march into what I can only assume is the interior of the fortress. The flamboyantly dressed blue haired fellow stares silently at his compatriots.

Forever...


So, Mr. Shorts, Pink Socks, and Do-rag is our hero: Serge. Sadly, that outfit is not limited to the duration of the sequence. That is just how the guy dresses normally. Our portly chef companion is Orcha. You can go ahead and forget that now.


The third member of our party is a kid named Kid. I kid you not. Ho ho ho.


Apparently our colorful band is venturing in this dragon canyon fortress to murder some endangered wild cats. Sure, why not?


Did I mention Kid was Australian? Well, Kid is Australian. This is weird since to my knowledge there isn't an Australia in the Chrono world or even an Australia-esque analogue for that matter. This...will be a bit of a common theme in this game.


Kid begins laughing like a lunatic since Aussies (even the fantasy variety) are well known to be dangerous maniacs prone to violence and malicious activity at the drop of the hat.


Pictured: Kid's second cousin twice removed.  A recruitable character. 


Maniacal cackling concluded, the trio begins their journey into the world's most lazily designed dungeon maze. Throw a dead end somewhere...put a teleporter on a highish platform... Meh...effort enough...


There, they fight golden robots.


They are male robots in case you were wondering. Nice to see Huitzil from Darkstalkers is still getting some work.



Aussie Hooker, true to form, attacks by shiving rowdy Johns in the dick.



Meanwhile, Chef Orcha clenches his man-tits in defiance and bashes fools with a frying pan. I suppose this all deserves some explanation but eh... We'll get to the battle system when the game begins proper.


A bit of wandering latter and the party comes upon a glowing floating gumball.



Said gumball vanishes into the ether and activates the magical central platform to points unknown. Sure, why not?


FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
"...!"
--UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!


And so our heroes ended up on the giant record needle in the sky.


Apparently, Kid managed to make it into the fortress and didn't notice the structure taking a pissing on Isaac Newton's grave above the joint.


I know this is a fantasy setting and all but my suspension of disbelief is rejecting the notion of this guy passing through any manner of solid object unless it was a block of cheese and you gave him about a hour.


"Who knows what's up ahead, so just stay on yer toes, eh!?"


And so Serge, Kid, and Orcha march up to the dreaded Shrine of Ridley and...



"Is it just me or our things getting bulgy? Umm...no not you Orcha..."




"Welp, that went well..."




"Oi... Crikey... Shrimp on...the b-barbie... Mate... Blargh..."



"Serge, you DONKEY!"



At least he's sidestepped the usual silent protagonist innate creepiness by just putting all his cards on the table from the get go.


"Good morning, Serge! Come on, sleepy head! Get up!"


"Welp, that's an uncomfortable dream to wake up from with morning wood..."

Summary:

Our hero, Serge, had a dream where he ventured to a magic dragon dungeon with a obese shirtless chef, fought a golden robot sporting a penis, and murdered an underaged Australian girl.






Tower Flyover


Serge's Subconscious


Time's Scar (Intro Theme)
Between Life and Death



Any behind the scenes points of interest or throwbacks to Chrono Trigger or Radical Dreamers will end up in this section. Feel free to tell me if I missed anything.