Part 61: The hero always saves the world; The villains get what they deserve; The boy will always get the girl
Update XXI: The hero always saves the world; The villains get what they deserve; The boy will always get the girlSong Title Reference: When I am King – By Great Big Sea
Let’s finish this shit! Please! I want my free time back… so I can… do stuff… Listen, I’m probably just going to sleep a lot because of the whole lockdown thing. But it’s still my free time, damn it!
Before we get to it, here’s a look at everyone’s final loadout. I snagged the Photon Blade+ from that quest for Itsuki.
It’s pretty sweet. It’s ATK is not as good as the Guto line of weapons that precede it, but it does have Light element attack, which is amazing for an Itsuki weapon as he has a stupid level of ATK even without the boost from Guto. Photon Blade+ does give a bonus to MAT, but that’s fairly useless to Itsuki since he doesn’t use magic (I think Terra might count, but that attack sort of sucks. An extra 1000 to MAT won’t change that).
Other than that, he’s also got God’s Gift Armor+. It still doesn’t have the insane speed boost of that armour I had been stubbornly clinging to for half the game, but the increase in DEF and MDF was just too great to not equip.
Finally, I keep him equipped with the Cheetah Ring in order to nudge up his speed.
Team A(wful) is equipped as such:
Rose (F Bondsman) – Mother: Arie
Holy Tower Lance
Feel Mail
Dance God Necklace+
Riela (F Paladin) – Mother: Lillith/Lillie
Holy Tree Lance+
Gaia Mail
Blessed Charm+
Isabel (F Astromancer) – Mother: Farun
Shining Planet
Stellar Shine
Grand Earring
Yuffie (F Ninja) – Mother: Reone
Storm Talons+
Callisto Armor
Dance God Necklace+
Team B is kitted out with:
Polsy (F Hunter) – Mother: Femiruna
Scale Raid+
Nature Feel
Rapid Ring++
Neoman (M Dungeon Master) – Mother: Mirei
Fuma Great Battleaxe
Gaia Mail
Rapid Ring++
Twybil (M Ninja) – Mother: Reone
Death Talons
Phoenix Garb
Rapid Ring++
Raitzeno (M Magic Knight) – Mother: Reone
Star God Sword
Libra Mail
War God Necklace+
Finally, Team C is rocking:
Slaan (M Paladin) – Mother: Mirei
Holy Tree Lance
Thor Scale
Rapid Ring++
Anni (F Astromancer) – Mother: Alfie
Ruin Stick+
Stellar Shine
Grand Earring+
Mokino (M Ninja) – Mother: Arie
Storm Talons+
Four Gods Garb
Rapid Ring++
Blaze (M Bondsman) – Mother: Sue
King’s Lance
All Feel
Rapid Ring++
Team A(wful) is Magic Attack focused, Team B relies on Criticals and enemy debuffs, and Team C is general purpose.
In terms of nifty new weapons, here is what I wound up collecting during my travels through Ophiuchus.
I think this is purely a joke weapon for Itsuki, because it has absolutely miserable stats. I have no idea what the hell it’s referencing. My immediate guess would be Famitsu, but there’s also a bassist known as Fami on YouTube. I kind of doubt this is a shout out to her, though. She doesn’t seem to be a major presence online and it doesn’t look like her guitar videos have been around since 2012. They could have added this in Plus, but I think the safer bet is that this is a Famitsu Magazine reference.
Either way, it’s not worth using at all. I still haven’t figured out if “ATK 50% Down” is an inherent property of the weapon, or if it means that the weapon can apply a debuff to the enemy (this game is terrible for explaining stuff like that and it’s very difficult to test). Even if it did have that effect as a debuff, it more than likely doesn’t work against bosses, so it’s still useless.
Speaking of shout out weapons, I managed to track down the missing enterbrain weapons. Blaze is actually using this one, because it has amazing ATK. No speed or defence bonuses, but I’m willing to sacrifice that for the attack increase.
Then there’s the axe and claw versions. I considered giving someone the claws because they have great attack, but the massive loss of speed for Ninjas made me ditch the idea.
That’s it for equipment. I completed every quest except for the Star Maiden quests. I’m sure those quests offer up some crazy awesome weapons, but I was not willing to sit down for hours constantly reloading my save file and trying to get RNG to cooperate for 36 quests. You want to know what’s even worse about those Maiden quests? You can only have 1 active at a time. Fuuuuck that.
Thank merciful heaven that I didn’t do something stupid like say this would be a completionist run. Promising something before knowing what I’m getting in to is how this LP came to be in the first place.
Let’s go. It’s time for us to get off this godforsaken planet.
That thing looks fucking awesome.
This is the 13th Phantom?!
It has a huge Impurity Energy reading…
Don’t go getting my hopes up, Mana. I don’t want to get excited only to end up stomping this thing 5 minutes later.
[***] I am… Chaos… Who… are you?
God’s Gift. I’m here to put an end to you![Chaos]: You dare interfere with my rebirth…?
Itsuki, we have to call Nar! We have to do the sealing ceremony right away!Maybe don’t shout that at the top of your lungs, Mana. He can clearly understand us.
Yes! Pull a Wake! Do it!
Itsuki?!*Itsuki tries to bum rush the embodiment of Chaos single-handedly*
[Choas]: I am… Chaos… Desirer of despair for all existence… Desirer of the end of all existence… The bringer of chaos to all…
Gaaahhh!And Itsuki immediately gets bodied. Oh well, it was worth a shot. Maybe if you had given control of the battle to me.
Itsuki, snap out of it! Dammit… I can’t be this weak… I’m supposed to defeat it… I’m supposed to be the hero…
I’m still thinking about it. Give me a minute.
I hate this world… but I like the Star Children… but I hate Mana… but I like the Star Maidens… some of them…
All right. Let’s do it. Let’s save the world… I guess.
[Chaos]: Grrrooowwwlll!
It’s the 13th Phantom, Mahiru. You were told about it in advance.
This is the 13th Phantom… Nar! Itsuki is over here!”He immediately lost his heroic resolve after getting hit once!”
Oh no, Itsuki! Please, help Itsuki!
Why the hell are you here?
If Itsuki dies, the Grand Star Offering will be gone forever! Hold on! Itsuki’s hurt!Spoiler alert for Mahiru: He’ll be dead soon so it won’t really matter.
Mahiru, stay calm. The only way to save Itsuki is to seal that Impurity. We must conduct the ceremony now. Do you understand? B-But!
O-Okay… Begin the ceremony!
That’s actually a cool effect.
Ahh! Mahiru, Itsuki is fine! Cast the spell right now!”The screaming means its working!”
Nar! How can you say he’s fine like this?! Guaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Mahiru! The spell!
Guaaaaaaaaah! Ahhhhhh! May light fill this space. May darkness be erased… Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arrrggghhh!You doing okay, Itsuki? Just hold on a little more, then it’ll all be o— Wait, that’s right. You’re going to be devoured by Impurities for 1,200 years after this… Never mind.
Mahiru! Stop it! Itsuki… He’ll die at this rate! No… Mahiru! But! But he’s! Continue! You must continue if you wish to save him!
May the spirit become the Grand Star Offering. Put chaos to eternal slumber… Itsuki… I’m sorry. But with this, we’ll have another 1,200 years of peace. Gaaaaaaaah! Itsuki!!!
Huh…?! What…?! What’s the matter?! What’s happening here? Look inside the monster! There’s a person inside!
Star God! Is that you?! …You’re a fucking asshole!
Are you…?[***]: I descended upon this land from Sora 1,200 years ago. And I have become the Grand Star Offering…
You’re the legendary God’s Gift?!Oh, right. That guy. Sorry I cursed you out. I thought you were Star God.
[God’s Gift]: Star Maidens of God’s Gift… I shall bestow upon you the truth…
There’s a very quick shot here of everyone looking shocked/angry. …Except for Yuzuha, who just looks sort of confused.
No way… That was the plan? Is this true?!
Busted.
I don’t believe it! Answer me, Narcisstes! Guh…[God’s Gift]: My descendants… You must not repeat the same mistakes…
[God’s Gift]: The phantom will vanish… for all eternity… You must… believe in your own strengths…
Come on, don’t do that “Power of Love/Friendship” thing. Just let me fight it.
Narcisstes, the ceremony will end in failure at this rate. What do you intend to do?Why are you asking him? There’s fuck all Narcisstes can do about this. Mahiru already knows the truth.
[Chaos]: One with the fate of a Star Maiden… Do not dare interfere with my rebirth…
…Or what?
[Chaos]: I am the immortal one.
Mahiru, he was a God’s Gift. However, those were not his own words. He’s already been taken over by the 13th Phantom. All those words are merely to interfere with the ceremony.You raise a good point. But you’re a lying shitbag yourself, so I’m willing to flip that coin and take a chance on possible Star Jesus.
Nar… Don’t you dare lie! Mana…
Mahiru, why did you…?The Grim Gate appears on screen again. I think the implication is that Mirei gave one to Mahiru without Narc knowing.
Mirei told me… 
I’ve heard the truth from the legendary God’s Gift. It’s the only way to save this world. We must make Itsuki the Grand Star Offering. There is no other way to seal the 13th Phantom!
Narcisstes, you still don’t understand? “When Star Maiden and God’s Gift souls merge, the phantom will forever vanish.” Do you not understand the meaning of those ancient words?I sure as hell didn’t. I thought it meant sacrificing both Itsuki and Mahiru. Didn’t think it was a “power of bonds” situation. Good thing I maxed out those Social Links.
Our hearts are always together.*Everyone else gets a one-liner here as well… except Alfie. Remember Alfie?! She was created for this remaster! She’s the Ophiuchus Maiden!*
Everyone here feels the same way.
If we join together, we can beat anyone!
The fortune I just read says we’ll turn the tables.
The world’s too fun for us to let it get destroyed.
God’s Gift, please stand up!
Please… Big Brother!
Itsuki! Stand up! Yeah! Get up!
Itsuki, I will send all of my Star Energy to you.
Itsuki, I’m a man of science. You wish to tell me to believe in miracles?You kind of don’t have a choice. Science ain’t gonna save you right now.
If it were me… I’d say the entire world is filled with miracles. Everything will be solved once the 13th Phantom is gone, right? All the Impurities here will vanish, and the Star Maidens’ duty will be over. So long as there’s a chance… we shouldn’t give up! Well, there’s no other choice left to us now, is there?There was never any choice! Not once in this entire game have you ever had a choice as to how this was going to turn out.
…If it looks like I won’t win… then turn me into the Grand Star Offering. Itsuki, what are you saying?!AMCP, Mahiru.
Please… promise me. If I lose, then you have to do it. You have to use me to seal the 13th Phantom. F-Fine…
Damn right we will.
Prayer!*The screen goes white here for a bit, which I guess indicates that Mirei/the Maidens transferred their power or something*
[Chaos]: You livestock who dare interfere with my eternal being. Despair. Submit. Pay for your sins with your pitiful lives.
Oh, damn. He knows Magic Missile.
The Star Maidens are in danger! No! May all spirals of despair be slain. Your Majesty?!
Ooohhh… that doesn’t look fun.
Gah! Shangri-La! Oh no! He took the hit for God’s Gift!
Itsuki, forgive me… Shangri-La… I have a duty to protect this world… My fellow friend from Sora… Please… release these shackles from us… Mana… I’m sorry… If the Impurities of this world vanish, you, too, will… I’m on board with this now! I’m 100% committed! Let’s kill the 13th Phantom! Hurry! We can rid ourselves Mana! What?! …I know.She’s made peace with it! Come on! Let’s get this done!
I will follow you… wherever you go…
Also, farewell Shangri-La. You were cool, then you were an asshole, then you kind of redeemed yourself at the end there. One thing we can say for certain is: You loved Granvania.
Right… I can do it. I will stop this cycle of suffering, of despair… I will save this world![Chaos]: You dare attempt to seal me once more? You will never…
I’m not here to seal you! I’m here to erase you from existence![Chaos]: As the sword… As the hammer… Be crushed by my entire being.
Finally! Boss time. Also, he immediately opens the battle by wrecking Teams B and C for close to 3,000 damage.
Those are… those are some scary stats. Also some scary skills. Not to mention he’s got good coverage. Mental Eclipse (as well as his standard attack) will cripple any teams with Fire/Water/Earth/Wind defence. Earthstorm and Burning Fuse will let him deal neutral damage to Light defence teams while being super effective against Wind and Water, which would normally counter Earth and Fire respectively (Earthstorm and Burning Fuse are also multi-target spells). Heal is never fun for bosses to use. 9,999 is the cap for damage/healing, but due to his defences, that would be a decent setback.
This is the full view of what we’re fighting, since he’s too big to fit on screen in this battle.
Having all of your teams be Light defence is the best bet, although that’s kind of a major time investment at this point if you don’t already have them trained up.
That said, having your teams with Light elemental attacks is doable using equipment and possibly through some team rearranging (for stuff like Photon Drive). If not that, then Dark will work as well (it will at least be neutral). Basic elemental spells will be largely worthless.
The good news is that he seems to suffer from major turn delay on his spells. If you can survive the attack, then it should be fairly easy to heal back up while still getting some shots in. Bad news is that Chaining him will take longer than usual because skills like Gran/Temple Chain don’t build the gauge nearly as much compared to regular enemies and bosses.
That said, I still think it’s a decent strategy. Be careful with your health as you do this, though.
Thankfully, you don’t need to fill the CD gauge in order to chain him. You just need to get it to 75%. Team C and Team B both held out against a second Burning Fuse (although I had to heal Team B just before it hit), then I managed to get the chain off. After this, I took the time to heal everyone up, then went to town.
I also MECUNITE Team A(wful), because their MECUNITE form is always Light based. They will spend the rest of this battle dealing out 9,999 damage per turn, which really helps chip away at the boss. The other two teams stick to Photon Driver and Arrow Fusillade/Snail Wind.
This one hurt real bad. I buffed Itsuki’s MDF using an item during his last turn precisely for this possibility. He wasn’t in danger of being OHKO’d, but the extra MDF definitely prevented him from being put into a 2HKO situation. Team C also just barely hangs on (Slaan is the only one left standing from this attack).
I get Team C fully healed again and at this point the fight is essentially over. The 13th Phantom’s turn delay is simply too great for him to capitalize on his insane damage output. Chaining him also give us the chance to wail on him for roughly 10 turns with our best attacks.
To heal Itsuki (just in case), I decide to use his Bond Link skill. The game itself may have forgotten about Alfie, but RNG has not. Out of the 13 possible Maiden portraits that can pop up when using this skill, Alfie’s was the one that did. At least it’s something.
Alfie’s power fully heals Itsuki’s HP and MP. Time to wrap this up.
Chaos/13th Phantom gets one more Mental Eclipse off, but it’s not a critical so it does much less damage than before. Team C gets their revenge for the previous hit by Photon Driver’ing the shit out of him.
Suck it, Chaos!
[Chaos]: I will… vanish…? Heed my words, livestock… So long as you exist, Impurities will arise once more. Because I… am you…
Not our problem! We’re getting the hell out of this world ASAP.
[Chaos]: Damn you… Damn you… Damn you…
[Chaos]: Damn you, damn you, damn you, damn you, damn you, damn you, damn you, damn you.
Die already!
[Chaos]: Damn youuuuuuu! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhh!
Finally! Also, I’ve been looking forward to this part since Shang brought it up.
Mana! Don’t cry, Itsuki… It ruins your pretty little face… Mana, please don’t go…
This… is for the best… Now…
*And Mana fades away as the screen goes black*
~Inn: Itsuki’s Room~
Itsuki, how do you feel? A lot better than before. That’s thanks to you.
Sorry about that. By the way, how is everyone else? Narcisstes and Mirei are trying to track the Gate of Light. They want to find it the moment it appears. I see… Are you worried if it will appear? Not a chance. Until a little while ago, I thought I was going to be sealed inside that labyrinth for over a century. I’m okay with waiting.
My deepest apologies… Don’t apologize. I’m only here because you all saved me. I owe y—
Itsuki, we have an ultra super emergency situation on our hands! What? What’s wrong? Come out to the field at the academy!
Convenient timing.
~Star God Academy Field~
Right. Thanks, Narcisstes. Itsuki, thanks to you, Impurities have been purged from this world. The Star Maidens have been relieved of their duties as well. No one would have dreamt this day would come.Yeah, that’s great. Good for you. I hate you all. Now let’s get a move on, Itsuki.
I think it was worth all the pain. To be honest…
Itsuki, now is your chance, should you wish to take it.Well, if you’re offering.
Yeah. You’re right. But I’m not going to do that. You’re going to die someday anyway, so why not use what time you have to help the people of this world? If you’re sorry, then that seems like a better way to make amends. But, what would I know? I’m just a teenager. No, you are the hero our country.
…Well, I guess that’s fine. Just count yourself lucky that the choice wasn’t put in the hands of the thread.
I’ll be going now. There’s someone waiting for you…
And that someone is Arie, as voted by the thread. This is where the choice of ending is made. You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned anything about being given the option to save. This really freaked me out at first, because I thought this meant I would have to refight the boss 13 more times to get all the possible endings.
Mercifully, all you have to do to get more endings is run to the final portal in Ophiuchus. The game will ask you if you want to skip the battle with Chaos (as long as you're using your Clear Save data).
Yeah. I can finally go back home…
Then congratulations are in order. You have fulfilled your objective. But we must now part ways…
Arie… aren’t you going to come with me?
I pledged myself to you in front of the Star God, Arie. I love you. I don’t want us to be separated. …
About my love for you, I mean… That I feel most at ease when I’m with you. Everyone is cheering me on. They told me they want me to be happy.In your face little kid that asked Arie to marry him someday!
But even so, I can’t bring myself to leave the church… Oh… But I’ve already decided. If… If, you…
Arie… Itsuki, please… take me to your world.
Hey, worshipping Itsuki beats worshipping that jackass. I’m cool with this.
…Okay. Arie… Come with me.
Peace out, Granvania! Your world is terrible and I hate all of you! Star Children and most of the Star Maidens excluded. Also that one nice grandma from Ruka’s route. The Boss sounds like a pretty cool guy as well.
Feels good. Feels real good. …Also feels incredibly depressing. I’ve completed 3 JRPG SSLP’s in the span of one and a half years. CII started on Oct. 1, 2018. World of Final Fantasy started on Jan 9, 2019. Conception Plus started on Nov. 8, 2019. 180 hours of play time (according to Steam), which doesn’t include all the hours spent typing the damn updates or working on character icons or other random crap.
Probably not all that bad by some people’s metrics. Granted, I did all of that while also attending university and working part-time.
This game had a planning department?!
Jesus Christ… can you imagine the shit I could have done if I had devoted 180 hours to school? That’s like a full semester at max course load! Hell, if I had devoted 180 hours just to learning more Japanese I’d probably be in good shape for studying there in a few months.
Really puts things into a horrifyingly depressing perspective, doesn’t it?
Putting that aside before I end up taking up alcoholism, who the hell is Linguitronics Co., Ltd.?
Hmm… It sounds like they were the ones that did the Chinese translation. But they also mention English, so maybe they did do the Japanese -> English?
Looks like the localization team had a single editor that was also pulling double duty as the coordinator, so I guess that explains quite a bit about the multitude of errors.
Hold on… who the hell is Labaamen?
Googling… whoever this is… only turns up some translation credits for a few manga (Samurai Drive, Tiger & Bunny Comic Anthology, and Tony Takezaki’s Neon Genesis Evangelion). There’s also an interview with someone from the public translation community (fansubbers, basically) where Labaamen is mentioned by the interviewee. So I guess Spike Chunsoft (North America) hired a freelance/hobby translator for this?
That explains that, I suppose. I’m not going to rag on the person because I can’t find enough on them to get an idea of their usual skill level. I also can’t blame them for errors considering they were apparently working on this by themselves and Spike Chunsoft only bothered to have one person doing the editing (while also having them do a second job in tandem).
But at least this gives us some possible answers about what happened with this game.
Anyway, we’ve got a little bit of story left.
Where the hell is this? Doesn’t look like the Tokyo skyline. Not obviously, anyway.
A few years have passed since I returned to my world with Arie… It didn’t take long for her to get used to life here… My dear, breakfast is ready.
It’s probably the lighting, but I want to believe that hat is pink and Arie ended up making a bunch of different coloured ones after she got here to wear on various occasions.
Arie… you make it sound like we’re married. Isn’t it too early for that? But we’ve already sworn an oath for our hearts to be together.Itsuki, were you asleep for that ceremony or something? What in god’s name did you think you were doing when you vowed all that “in sickness and in health” stuff?
Anyway, my dear, I bought this sharp kitchen knife online.Looks like she found a replacement for her weapon collecting. Good thing, because that would not fly in Japan. At the very least it would draw some police attention.
My heart jumps when I see a knife first thing in the morning in our bedroom…
I still don’t think I really understand… You told me, didn’t you? To act according to what my heart tells me to.She’s got you there.
I’m ecstatic looking at the shine on this knife. That’s no reason to decorate the entire kitchen with knives, you know…Hey, at least she’s keeping it to the kitchen.
I’ve been holding back all this time. This collection will grow even more.
When you hold me… When you kiss me, my heart heats up. That feeling will never wane no matter how much time will pass… I’m glad I could bring you to this world, Arie. Buy as many kitchen knives as you want. You should live how your heart wants.So… question. Where is the money coming from for Arie’s online shopping and this apartment/house? Itsuki was only (just about) a high school graduate when the Granvania thing happened. If a few years have passed since they came back, then he’d still be in university or college.
I don’t know how far into the future we’ll actually tie the knot…Who am I kidding. He probably had some inheritance from his parents that was never mentioned.
Also, why are you putting that off, Itsuki? You brought this woman over from a different world/dimension. Are you seriously telling me that marriage is still in the “let’s wait and see” phase?
But I wanna have children with you someday. That house is gonna require some next level baby proofing. Yes. Gladly.
I love you… my dear.
Nice.
Thank you to everyone that followed along with this LP. I still have more updates planned, but I wanted to thank anyone who might be planning to tap out now that the story is done.
For everyone else that wants to hang around until the very end, we’ve got a few more things to look at and talk about. There’s still the final 3 episodes of the anime (Yay…), detailed and summary versions of the other Star Maiden endings, my final thoughts on characters/routes/the game itself (if anyone actually cares about that), as well as some—
NO! NO, GODDAMNIT! WE WATCHED YOU DIE! WE ALL SAW IT! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!