Part 2: Episode 2: The Obligatory Sewer Level

_{Episode 2: The Obligatory Sewer Level}




We have nothing else to do here... aside from stare at Bouf's horrible misshapen form, I mean.






So we'll head outside and take the right path.




This looks like the shop your uncle Vinnie used to own. Usually Vinnie's is always open and there are hundreds of wonderous flowers in front. Now it's empty. The florist shop is closed-permanently. Looks like business wasn't so good.

Ok, well I can't go down Ben Ave. or Jazz St. since I'm not looking for a Ben or Jazz. We can't hop the chain link fence. That just leaves the sewer grate and the window. Logically, I can probably smash that window with my big dead stinky pants fish.




...Or not. Apparently using the fish as a key is acceptable, but not as a blunt object. Fishing the sewers does nothing. I guess we can try lubing it.




And... and Tyler's body somehow fits through that tiny sewer grate. Because it's a dream, so ANYTHING can happen as long as it doesn't involve a fish.





The putrid, dank sewers reek of waste. A stale breeze pours out of the hole to the north.




Adventure game logic dictates that I smear lube on the tiny grate and crawl through that shit.




An enormous pipe drains sludge into the cesspool below. The stench is unbearable. A sewer crocodile eyes you up and down very slowly.

I guess we should talk to the banana-hatted crocodile. Taking bets now on whether or not he has a cajun accent.





What are you drinking?
An antacid solution I mixed up jus' dis mornin'. Had a loooong night last night, yessiree!
What do you know about the other side of the sewers?
Hmmm... There's a windmill yonder, and beyond that is a chasm with one heck of a rickety bridge. Beware, though, 'cause in that there windmill is one BIG flyin' rodent!!!
Have you ever heard of Zone 66 or Solar Winds?
Of course! Who hasn't? They're two un-beeee-lievable new games from that number uno shareware game company, Epic MegaGames!!!












At least I won the bet...Anyway, let's check out the sewer exit to the north.






Suddenly it is daytime outside. Your eyes adjust well to the brightness. Before you stands a windmill, and flowers grow here and there, making a rather serene picture.

There's a flower we can't pick for some reason, and a hill leading to a chasm. We'll ignore those for now and check out what's inside the windmill.




The inside of the windmill appears a lot larger than the outside. The floor is a sort of cobblestone, and a pine table sits in the bottom right part of the room, skulls are piled on it. Light pierces inside the small window. The ancient wooden walls creak as the wind blows away outside.

The light feels warm, but getting too close makes us afraid of the bat. Using the fish or any other item on the bat doesn't work, as Tyler is a goddamn pussy. We can pick up exactly one skull from the pile, though.




We play one of the most morbid games of Jenga with a huge pile of rat skulls.


The skull is flawless, almost as if it was cast in a sort of plaster. However, you flip it over and the dried blood on the back reveals it is genuine.

Leaving all the other useful skulls behind, let's go back to the sewers.





There's that other entrance we ignored to squeeze through the lubed-up grate. Let's explore it, and maybe poke those eyes out.




You have no recollection of ever thinking of a place like this! Mold creeps on the walls and the only light is provided by a small bulb hanging in the middle of the room. Bright yellow cans of toxic waste are stacked all around you, one is spilled. The smell burns your nostrils. Ooze burns your nostrils every second you are in here.

We can interact with the toxic waste and the barrel that used to hold it. Tyler is afraid of being mutated by the waste and refuses to touch it. The same response is given if you use any object on the ooze or barrel, save one:


Ginch Bridge: GO!




We can now step on the thin piece of toxic waste-soaked cloth to reach inside the also toxic barrel. What do we find inside?




A shotgun. One that is probably glowing by now, considering it was soaking in radioactive goop for god knows how long.

Now THIS is interesting! A double-barrel twelve-gauge pump action sawed-off shotgun! You let out a sinister laugh whenever you point this monster around...

Tyler stuffs the radioactive shotgun into his pajama pants, along with the fish.



_{Thanks, Charkie!}

He refuses to pick up the underwear he left behind. I can only think of one thing we can, no, MUST do now that we have a gun.






DAMN YOU, CLIFFY! Why won't you grant me this one simple joy?! I'm going to do something with my sack of goodies, and it will have to be violent.