Part 9: Episode 5: Backtracking For Prizes

_{Episode 5: Backtracking For Prizes}



We're back, with a stupid key. There was only one place we saw that needed a key, so let's head to the Anthill.







It's a ring! We'll just steal this valuable heirloom.

The ring is perfectly crafted from the finest gold. Embedded in the center of it is a lone diamond.

So we'll just take that to the tiny pawn shop and... wait. Shit. Tyler doesn't dream of pawn shops. Well, what else can we do with a diamond ring- oh. Oh god. Cliffy, why would you make me go back there? Why do you make me feel so sad?









I hate this castle and everything in it. Let's just give her the friggin' ring so I can get whatever other prize she has behind her back. Or wait for the gas from my stove to fill the room. We're on a deadline now.



Oh, TYLER! It's gorgeous! Thank you SO much, I could just kiss you. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you about this before, but I've thought about it, and now I know you can do it. The ant family is hiding something that can destroy the roadblock that BoneHead and CementHead have put up. Good luck, my knight in shining armor!!!


What. Tyler here goes through life, limb, and major annoyance to give her this ring and all he gets is a hint for the next item? Lissa you are so lucky I don't have the shotgun from the first game. Even if it did nothing, I would never stop clicking it. Speaking of which, let's check up on our old mouse pal. He probably has a present ready, and if not I can just torture him some more.




When I was a kid, this was the part of the game that left me hanging. When you talk to Boris, he just repeats that he'll have something good for you if you come back later. I did everything else in the game, and he would never say anything different. I thought it might be a bug, or I might have been locked out of prizes forever because I keep poking his foot. It went to the point where I called Epic's distributor and got them to send me half a photocopy of the game's guide.



It turns out all you have to do is double click him. Oh, was I pissed. Months wasted, all for a bean.

This isn't a jumping bean, and it sure isn't a refried bean, but it sure looks 'alive'. It keeps humming lullabies... maybe it's a sleeping bean!


Before I leave, there's something to do here. We can use the sticky stick on the box of matches.




The torch burns furiously and appears as if it won't go out any time soon.

Considering that by now Tyler has stuffed broken glass, dead fish, C4 and shotguns coated with toxic waste down his pants, I'm not going to question the lit torch. With that diversion out of the way, let's go see what the ants are keeping from me.



Oh, I almost forgot!








Okay now we can go back to the anthill.




Hi, your Highness. You are looking rather stunning today.
Why, thank you! That's what I like to hear!
Um, might you happen to have a means of escaping here?
Who told you? Was it HER? Geesh. I knew she'd tell sooner or later. Well, we've got a bomb that Clifford built quite some time ago. We've grown content here and have never felt like using it. You can have it, it's under the fruit somewhere.



Ah, a bomb hidden in the fruit room. I bet it's something clever like a banana grenade or--




Sweet jesus! They keep that in their food storage. Maybe they just blow up bad food instead of throwing it out? Whatever the logic, it's ours now. Let's keep it safe right next to the lit torch in Tyler's pants.

The craftsmanship on this little monster is impressive. Approximately six sticks of dynamite are attached to a small electronic device, and on the device is a button that reads 'DETONATE'.

And with that, we're done with the anthill and the whole barn area. Let's head into the dark, foreboding forest.



With our handy dandy flaming sticky stick, we can finally move past the darkness.







Daisies spot the ground here and there. One tree is very prominent amongst the others, it looks depressed.

There's a sign nailed to its forehead. I think that'd make any tree upset.

I'M DEPRESSED

Right... let- let's just read the sign.




Oh boy, it looks like a puzzle! Can you figure out this riddle of the century before I do?