Part 14: Episode 3: The Soldier and The Murderhole

_{Episode 3: The Soldier and The Murderhole}



Now that we finished all that horrid item fetching, we can actually do things of interest. Let's check out the right path.





The plants appear to have eyes on their branches instead of fruit.



So this place is one of those infinite looping mazes you see so often in games with a lack of originality. There is only one correct path, and of course it's the least obvious one. But first, there's the small matter of that newspaper sitting on one of the eyeball trees.




Every second you hold the newspaper makes the blood course through your veins that much faster. You hate your paper route, which is probably the cause of this.

Ah yes, of course. The classic case of disliking your job turning into an irrational hatred of everything associated with it. You should see what the counter jockeys at McDonalds do to cows. Going back to the maze, if we take the north, east or west paths, we're just thrown back to the start of the maze. Going back for some unfathomable reason moves us ahead.



Then from here, we go north again. Remember: It's dream logic, not lazy puzzle design.



An army jeep lays mangled before you, apparently someone crashed here a while ago.

We can have a nice chat with the heavy metal album cover model.




Hello.
Greetings, Tyler. It is about time you showed up. I am the Unknown Soldier.
What happened here?
I was driving my jeep around, about a year ago, when He made it crash...Now I lay here, rotting, unable to be buried, honorless.
Is there anything I can do?
Give me a proper burial. That is all I ask.


Bury the skeleton, huh? Well, I've got a shovel and a gravestone. You'd think that would be all we need, but you don't understand. He needs a proper burial. So we have to go back and do a thing.



Taking the northeast path...





In the middle of the field sits a seemingly abandoned schoolhouse, and the only sound is of the bell in the tower ringing.

Despite only playing a bell, the schoolhouse is clearly having one hell of a rave. Let's check it out.



You feel like you're being watched in here. Two skeletons hang over the fire from the ceiling, on the ground. In a small circle of stones burns a supernatural green flame.

The first thing we need to do is burn the newspaper.



Yep. That's all we needed the paper we chased down for several screens for. There is also one specific rock we need from here, over in that pile in the left corner. Because of course we can't take any other rock... Tyler is a little brain damaged.


The ashes of the newspaper you burnt.

It looks like an ordinary rock, however it isn't as heavy as most rocks you've seen around here.



Now we can head back and bury the soldier. First, use the shovel on the patch of dirt the soldier's pelvis is pointing to.



Next, click on the soldier and the hole until the two are combined. Then, you just add your items.



You put the grave marker on the grave, and you hear a voice whisper in your ear, 'Thank you'.


You spread the ashed over the grave and whisper 'Ashes to ashes...




The mirror won't show up without adding the ashes and dust. Since the soldier thanks you after getting buried, you wouldn't think there were any more steps to the burial process. Welcome to another stumbling block of fuzzy logic on our broken down path of mixed metaphors, and bad adventure games.


The mirror is made of polished marble, yet is not heavy. Your reflection in it is crystal clear.

I can't wait to see what we have to use this Chinatown giftshop bauble on. Next time we'll deal with dead children and more skeletons.