Part 11

11.

BGM: My Confession



: “What you need most is for things to be like they've always been. Monika told me the truth...she told me how much happier you seemed after I joined the club. I know you're struggling with some really difficult feelings right now.”

: “But...please trust me that I know what's best...and what will make you happy in the end. I promise I'll help get things back to the way they were."

: “I...I...see..."

Sayori forces a smile through an incredibly pained expression.

: “Ahaha..."



: “I should write a poem about this..."

: “Sayori--"

: “It's okay. This is just my punishment...remember? For being so selfish...so please...please don't worry about these stupid feelings. I know you're right. I knew this whole time that there's no happiness down that path. That's why I came here...just so I could get the answer I needed to hear."

: “And the other thing...you're also right that I just want it to go back to the way it was. I realize that now. You really do know me better than anyone, Mitayo. I'll trust you with anything...anything at all..."

: “So..."

Sayori's smile finally breaks. All of a sudden, she turns around and drops to her knees.



Clutching her head with both hands, she screams as loudly as she can. I'm so shocked that I don't know how to react.

: “..."

Sayori looks over her shoulder and flashes me one more weak smile before turning around and running off.

I have no jokey-jokes for any of this. I honestly just legitimately hurt for Sayori. She’s in so much pain…and Mitayo, while good intentioned, has done so very little to help. In his defense, I don’t know what his best option would be in this situation…but I’m fairly certain that what we’ve seen so far isn’t it.

: “Sayori!"

...I'm left helplessly standing in the front of my house. Why am I feeling so horrible about this? There's nothing more that I could have done. The most I can do is support Sayori through her feelings and help her on the path that's right. But I'm having as much trouble understanding Sayori's feelings as she is. Even though I can comfort her...I keep wondering if I should be doing something more, or something different.

I know these thoughts will continue to plague me until things are back to the way they were. I'm going to give it everything I've got. Sayori will always be my dearest friend. And I'll do whatever it takes to put a smile on her face every day.

At least Mitayo’s heart is in the right place…it’s obvious that he cares for Sayori. Despite knowing how much it will hurt, he’s not willing to tell her something that, based on the decisions we’ve made so far in the game, is a total lie. That’s not what friends do.

BGM: Music fades out.

-----------

BGM: Silence.



Of all days, I expected this to be the one where I'd be walking to school with Sayori. But Sayori isn't answering her phone. I considered going to her house to wake her up, but decided that's a little too much.

Meanwhile, the preparations for the event should be nearly complete. The banner Yuri and I painted is dry, and I gently rolled it up to take with me. She sent me a pleasant text reminding me not to forget anything, and I reassured her. Funnily enough, I probably feel the same way as Natsuki about the event. I'm more excited for it to be over so I can spend time with Sayori and Yuri at the festival. But knowing Monika, I'm sure the event will be great, too.

Do you think the anime club has a stand? I wonder if they managed to do better than aromatherapy candles, essential oils, and high-school level poetry.



: "You're the first one here. Thanks for being early!"

: “That's funny, I thought at least Yuri would be here by now."

It’s interesting that just Monika is here – with as much as Yuri loves literature, she should have been the first one to arrive.

Monika is placing little booklets on each of the desks in the classroom. They must be the ones she prepared that has all the poems we're performing. In the end, I found a random poem online that I thought Monika would like, and submitted it. So, that's the one I'll be performing.

I thought about putting a joke poem here but I didn’t think it would be appropriate after what we just went through with Sayori.

: "I'm surprised you didn't bring Sayori with you."

: “Yeah, she overslept again...that dummy. You'd think that on days this important, she'd try a little harder..."

...dude. Seriously?

There’s insensitive and then there’s Mitayo.

I say that, but I suddenly remember what Sayori told me yesterday...and I suddenly feel awful, knowing it's not nearly that simple for her. I only said it because it's the way I'm used to thinking.

At least he’s aware of his behavior. That’s a step in the right direction, at least.

But...maybe I should have gone to wake her up after all?

: "Ahaha. You should take a little responsibility for her, Mitayo! I mean, especially after your exchange with her yesterday...you kind of left her hanging this morning, you know?"

: “Exchange...? Monika-- You know about that??"

: "Of course I do. I'm the club president, after all."

: “But--!"

I stammer, embarrassed. Did Sayori really tell her about it that quickly?

You underestimate the power of gossip. Sayori and Monika are friends, after all.

About how I basically turned down her confession? That makes me really seem like the bad guy here...but I'm the one who knows what's best for her, right?

I’m not sure where in the world you got that idea from, to be honest. Just because you started saying it doesn’t make it true.

: “Jeez...you don't know the full story at all, so..."



: “Eh...?"

Monika is being as friendly as usual, but for some reason I felt a chill down my spine after hearing that.

: "Hey, do you want to check out the pamphlets? They came out really nice!"

: “Yeah, sure."

I grab one of the pamphlets laid out on the desks.

: “Oh yeah, they really did. Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously.”

If it wasn’t Mitayo saying it, I’d judge this as sarcasm.

: "Yeah, I thought so too!"

I flip through the pages. Each member's poem is neatly printed on its own page, giving it an almost professional feel. I recognize Natsuki's and Yuri's poems from the ones they performed during our practice.

: “What's this...?"

I flip to Sayori's poem. It's different from the one she practiced. It's one that I haven't read before...




Poem impressions: Oh God.

: “Ah--"

What is this...? Reading the poem, I get a pit in my stomach.

: "Mitayo? What's wrong?"

: “Ah, nothing..."

This poem feels completely different from everything else Sayori's written. But more than that...

: “I-I changed my mind! I'm going to go get Sayori, so..."

: "Ah--well, alright! Try not to take too long, okay?"

I quickly leave the classroom.

: "Don't strain yourself~"

Monika calls that out after me. I quicken my pace.



I should have tried a little bit harder for Sayori. It's not a big deal to at least wait for her, or help her wake up. Even the simple gesture of walking her to school makes her really happy. Besides...I told her yesterday that things will be the same as they always have been. That's all she needs, and what I want to give her.



I don't expect an answer, since she's not picking up her phone, either. Like yesterday, I open the door and let myself in.

: “Sayori?"

I highly recommend that you watch the upcoming scene at the following link - the music and effects are important to experience the game properly. I fully understand if you choose not to - If that's the case, scroll down for the standard format.

There will be no further commentary in this update. I'll see you all tomorrow.

http://www.polsy.org.uk/play/yt/?vu...i6vo&autoplay=1































She really is a heavy sleeper...I swallow. I can't believe I ended up doing this after all. Waking her up in her own house...isn't that more like something a boyfriend would do?

In any case...it just feels right. Outside Sayori's room, I knock on her door.

: “Sayori?"

: “Wake up, dummy..."

There's no response. I really didn't want to have to enter her room like this...isn't it kind of a breach of privacy? But she really leaves me no choice.

I gently open the door.




BGM: Sayo-Nara **New!** (REQUIRED LISTENING)





What the hell??

Is this a nightmare? It...has to be. This isn't real. There's no way this can be real. Sayori wouldn't do this.

Everything was normal up until a few days ago. That's why I can't believe what my eyes are showing me...!

I suppress the urge to vomit.

Just yesterday...I told Sayori I would be there for her. I told her I know what's best, and that everything will be okay.

Then why...? Why would she do this...?

How could I be so helpless? What did I do wrong?

Turning down her confession...that has to have been what pushed her over the edge. Her agonized scream still echoes in my ears. Why did I do that to her when she needed me the most?



This is my fault--! My swarming thoughts keep telling me everything I could have done to prevent this. If I just spent more time with her.

Walked her to school.

And gave her what I know she wanted out of our relationship...

...then I could have prevented this. I know I could have prevented this!

Screw the Literature Club. Screw the festival.

I just...lost my best friend. Someone I grew up with.

She's gone forever now. Nothing I do can bring her back. This isn't some game where I can reset and try something different. I had only one chance, and I wasn't careful enough.

And now I'll carry this guilt with me until I die.

Nothing in my life is worth more than hers...but I still couldn't do what she needed from me. And now...



Never.

Never.

Never.
Never.
Never...