Part 39: A Look at Free Expedition: Part Deux
A Look at Free Expedition: Part Deux
Alright. Let's keep on trucking with the Free Expeditions. This'll take us around half way through the lot. Maybe a bit over, even.
First up: my least favorite chapter of the game...so far - the Desert of the Moon. Also known as "let's recycle two maps four times"!
Free Expedition: Desert of the Moon Sky
This is the first aerial mission to put an annoying parameter for the weapon unlock.
For this one, Caim and Red must kill every single enemy in the stage in under 3:00 minutes. The big, potentially time saving limitation is Red cannot use her magic attack. Since, as we all know, the most motivating way to get people to replay a previous stage is to make them replay it in an even slower fashion.
Figures the sky of a desert stage would give up a weapon involving a mermaid.
"Ugh god! You shot me! Please, I beg you! Give me a phone to call 911! Here, I'll give you the shotgun in used to murder your family in exchange."
*Gets shot in the head*
Free Expedition: The Desert Temple
I thought there was only one hierarch? He refers to himself as a singular position of importance a few times. This doesn't make any se-oh yeah it's Verdelet. Senile. Etc.
This one is just a peachy little time sink. Caim doesn't have to lift a finger beyond completing the basic objective of slaying all the commanders. A task that can be easily accomplished within five minutes. Too bad twenty minutes have to elapse before the treasure chest with the weapon appears down where we picked up Arioch. Thanks, Cavia. I love leaving my console running idle for 15 minutes just to complete a goal.
4 orbs of fire spin around Caim for 32 seconds...? That's a bit of an off number... And what the hell is a Xaphan?
Wikipedia posted:
In Collin de Plancy's book, Dictionnaire Infernal, Xaphan was one of the fallen angels. He rebelled with Satan, and is a demon of the 2nd rank. He is said to have an inventive mind and came up with the idea to set fire to heaven before he and the other fallen were cast out. He has a bellows as an emblem, but must fan the flames of the abyss with his mouth and hands.
Xaphan is also the name of the Secret Chiefs 3 album of John Zorn's Masada Book Two tunes.
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Sure, only man has the power to destroy. As long as you overlook dragons, elves, goblins, trolls, ogres, griffons, Ganon-like pigmen, animated gargoyles, bats, evil spirits, demons, mermaids, giant Cyclops wearing scaffolds for hats, evil swords, the gods, fairies, fire elementals, water elementals, golems, and...well you see where I'm going with this.
Next up: The Winter Wasteland. It is another brief two map affair.
Free Expedition: The Winter Wastelands Sky
Damn you food and medical supplies!!!
This one is fairly generic. Just kill all the enemy airships within three minutes and twenty seconds.
Gungnir, eh?
Wikipedia posted:
In Norse mythology, Gungnir (Old Norse "swaying one"[1]) is Odin's magical spear, it always hits its mark and always kills.
Well...I don't think spears can talk... Also, the weapon is not a spear so...huh...
Ah! So it's the Sword of Manifest Destiny. Neat.
Free Expedition: The Hidden Mountains
Actually, I think they're just fleeing in terror from the ethnic cleansing going on by Caim. But, guess what asshole orders this mission...
The racist old cocksucer Verdelet, of course. Surprise, surprise. The only time Verdelet is even remotely clear headed and not rambling incoherently is when ordering the murder of minorities. It makes you wonder...
This one is pretty straightforward. Caim just needs to take a trip into the maze-like ravine to the east and take out everyone hanging out there.
Alright, I'm taking a guess on this story. Umm... I think the weapon will be evil, or maybe become evil due to being soaked in the blood of all it was used to execute.
Eh... I guess I was sort of close. I don't know if a weapon that has the specific function of being used for executions can really be considered "hungering for blood." That's like a fishing rod "hungering for the bounty of the sea". Yeah...great...that's what it was fucking made for. I should hope that's the reason it is used.
Next up: the most grindtastic chapter of the entire game. Guess what we're going to be doing here...
Free Expedition: The Blue Mountain Skies
So...making non-sentient giant monsters is an unforgivable sin. But, hiring sub-human mercenaries...? Meh...whatever...just make sure to kill them all. They're gross.
This is another 3:20 time limit massacre mission. Only, this time magic use is barred. Which makes downing all the Cyclopes (is that spelled right?) within the limit is a bit of a pain in the ass.
Looks like a nice balance of attack and defense here. But, what does it hold in its tale...? I'm guessing... There's a guardian and he fucks up protecting someone and they die. Maybe the guardian kills himself out of sadness.
I like to envision there were fourteen kids all just clumsily holding onto this one sword trying to fight off a group of bandits.
Free Expedition: The Highlands
One more for the road.
Remember how I killed over 2000 enemies in this verse way back when?
Time to kill another 1250 for the weapon unlock.
10 Fountains of Incandescence sounds like a goth/emo rock band's name.
Today Drakengard teaches us a very important moral we should all take to heart: "Children are fucking dumb!"
Alright... I need a nap after that grind... Go bother someone else!