Part 44: Episode XL: In Which There is a Violation of Adult Swim
Episode XL: In Which There is a Violation of Adult Swim
With the desert seal lost, our merry band of murderers decide upon the tactically confusing move of heading south to the ocean temple seal, located in the middle of the
We now begin the second of three pact partner chapters: Arioch's Madness. Arioch is by far the least developed, least important, and contributes the least to the overall plot. And yet she's by far the most useful one in gameplay... That said, her chapter is equally pointless and we'll be blowing through it all in this very update. Also, she'll be useless gameplay wise this chapter as well.
Verse 1: The Soughing of the Waves
What the fuck, Drakengard?! I was asking where I could find sailors for totally not gay reasons! I was looking for the man who killed my father, alright! Oh and...yeah, drowning kids isn't cool either... Wait, what?
Have we been watching the same plot unfold here? The fairies, a band of tiny assholes that fly around and have the power of snark, have been the only folks actively... sort of... kind of maybe protecting anything. No, Caim and Red coming in killing people after the place is already overwhelmed does not count.
"..."
"..."
"What on earth is she talking about...?"
"I don't know. Don't know at all. Don't you know?" "No. It is unknown."
Dragon...what the FUCK are you talking about?!
"I...I really do not know where I was going with that one. Let us just hurry with this affair. This salt air is doing little good for my stomach."
"The children? What children?"
"Hahaha. Oh, don't pay any attention to him. You know how he is.. Always with the kiddies on his mind. They have a deep place in his heart, ya know? Ahaha. Really deep down too. Hehe. But but but. Don't think he's a big softie. Nope nope no! Hehe. He stands tall and hard when it comes to kids down on their luck." "Aha! Ahahahaha!" "First we must protect the seal!" "No!"
Alright, so the next couple of stages are against the Imperial Navy. You may remember these ship units from a previous loop back around Chapter 10's utterly pointless excursion. This is <technically> the first time they appear in the game.
"Caim. If you do not defeat them quickly, the women and children will be lost." Why are they tossing women and children overboard? "Likely to break our morale and distract us from our assault." "..." So they're drowning them because we are attacking? So we need to stop them from doing that by attacking them? Do I have that right...? "Well, when you put it that way..." Oh, so I did have it right? Cool. Hey, check out that big boat at nine o'clock. I bet it burns real good!
So yeah... The Empire has apparently decided to start throwing captured elven women and children overboard in the middle of the ocean due to Red and Caim's assault. So, of course, the best way to prevent them from drowning is to destroy all seaworthy vessels in the area. Drakengard!
Arioch, at least, has her priorities straight regarding this grim situation. I like a woman who knows what she wants.
"My children... My children... Wait! I am coming." "Oh, thank the gods! Arioch will aid the children in peril. Caim, concentrate on stopping the Empire. I'll go to assist her!" Err... Does he know about elf girl's umm...extracurricular activities...? "I am guessing...no. Should I tell him?" Uhh...dragon... You seeing what I'm seeing? "Slice and dice! Snippety snap! Such fun! Such fun! One little swipe and pop! A new fountain!" "..."
"What do you mean? I can see Arioch in the distance. She's pulling them out of the wa-" "..." "Oh... Oh god! OH GOD!" "Yeah..."
This isn't going to end well, is it?
Verse 2: Her Favorite Things...
Did I mention having a pact makes it so you can fly and/or walk on water? No? Well, now you know.
"I smell blood." "Nature's barbeque sauce. Mmm. So very tender and smooth." "Why? Arioch, do you not have children yourself!?" "This situation is somewhat awkward." "Somewhat awkward indeed." "Did he not get the memo?" "I do not believe a memo was sent in this timeline." "Unfortunate." "Very." "Should we monologue exposition?" "Exposition we shall."
"Killed by Imperial forces, and cast away into an ocean of blood." "And there shall be no more children for her." "The price for our pact was her womb." "We're kind of assholes that way." "Spitefulness is in our nature." "It's kind of our thing." "Though, we are not being assholes in an ironic fashion." "That is reserved for hipster douchebags." "And we are not they." "We are merely assholes employing irony." "Do not confuse the two. That would make you look foolish." "Very foolish indeed." "Quite the task for someone of your tastes." "Your pact partner's mouth is very large." "But the revelation made us laugh. It also made this situation humorous in a grim humor sort of way." "We enjoy that sort of thing." "Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha."
"Only with death shall it end..." "A very ironic death." "One that will give us a good laugh." "It would have to be a knee slapper." "Had we knees." "Which we do not!" "Caim, you're right. I did like the lot of them when they were less talkative..." See! It's not just me! "Regardless, we have no time for this! Now, to the next temple!"Verse 3: Lantern Fishing
You see? Children ruin everything! If we didn't dick around watching Leonard whine about kids and Arioch nibbling on a bloated corpse then the Empire wouldn't have time to regroup and assault the joint.
I wonder what the Verdelet giving redundant information counter is up to...It must be well into the double digits by now.
The verse is 100% filler and nothing happens interesting at all. So let's just cut to the chase.
Except we, of course, fail. Goddammit!
Verse 4: Playing Alone
Well, at least Leonard and Arioch's side stories made attempts to save the seals. Seere will just be a pointless side quest into the damned kid wasting everyone's time.
What, Lenny? You can't fucking see it? Why, it's right in front of you! It's big and bright and gorgeous! It is just awe inspiring! Thank the stars we made it here in time even with getting sidetracked by you and Cannibal Cindy over there poking dead bodies. Thank the stars in-goddamn-deed!
Don't tell him! Geez! "Caim, he's blind, not stupid. And despite your inability to speak, everyone can still hear your growling, snorting, and hitting the ground with your sword." Details...
That's it! I'm gonna punch this guy the damned ear! "Calm down, Caim. It's a figure of speech." Oh... Sure... A figure of SPEECH! Har har har. "Wha?! I did not mean..." Fine... Fine... No, whatever. I get it...
I ask myself that every time I update this thing...
Pretty is not a word I'd describe Drakengard in any way, shape, or form.
"Each time we play our piece, we find ourselves one move behind... Back to the desert."And thus our merry band of murders do not go back to the desert because Leonard is a blind idiot, doesn't know what the hell he's talking about, and apparently missed the memo about that seal being gone too.
BONUS CONTENT:
Movies -
Arioch Grabs a Bite to Eat
Hurray for Futile Efforts
Music -
Arioch's Madness Aerial Mission
Arioch's Madness Ground Mission (Unused. Though part of it plays during the outro cutscene)
Artwork -
Arioch Render