Part 52: Episode XLVII: In Which They Grow Up So Fast

Episode XLVII: In Which They Grow Up So Fast

Verse 2: Extermination


Well, I hope that woke you all up. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but you know how occasionally verses do not have the little prologue blurb? Each one actually does, but the game occasionally skips them and just loads up the next stage. Usually, this is when going between an aerial and ground mission.

However, this is also one of those times. So normally, you get that previous bewildering verse and then you're thrown straight into:



Being surrounded by dozens upon dozens of giant floating babies in every direction. They all start puking wispy, very powerful energy streams to a symphony of cooing, gurgling, and giggling. This is all accompanied by the most frantic crazy ass music track in the entire game.

I'm just going to go ahead and stick it right here since it's easily the most effective use of the game's chaotic OST.

Chapter 12 Aerial Mission


The game doesn't even bother to give a concrete goal for this stage. I think fifty or so of our new friends must be slain or else a certain amount of time must pass before this stage abruptly comes to an end.


The Grotesqueries (which is the name the game gives to our new cosmic horror adversaries) will cough out this wispy, thread like energy beams while floating silently and staring down our heroes. They are very precisely homing attacks and hit for a ton of damage. Maybe ten to twelve direct hits will take out Angelus. Conversely, it takes pretty much an entire locked on salvo of fireballs to take out just one of these little guys.

The best thing to do is just to pick a direction and start firing as fast as possible. There's an infinite amount of these things in the area and there's more teleporting in every second.


Since Chaos Dragon Angelus doesn't take the heel turn in this path, we actually get to use her this time. Her attacks change significantly in this form. Instead of fireballs she unleashes bizarre energy balls that fly toward their target at stiff 90 degree angle turns until hitting.


Her magic spell also becomes bright blue instead of neon orange. I'm not sure if it is any stronger. I do not have any other pan-dimensional abominations to gauge its effectiveness against.


"These children... Are they the Watchers?"
This wasn't exactly what I pictured how this would turn out...
"I...I do not thing anyone could have pictured this... this."
I'd figure being as old as you are you'd be a bit more cynical to stuff like this. You know there's some dork hiding in a burnt out shack down in the city who's scoffing and going "I totally called it was so obvious".
"Speaking of gigantic tools, whatever happened to Inuart?"
Dragon, there is a swarm of fifty foot infants with lightning for wings getting shat out of a hole in the friggin' sky... On Caim's great big list of shit he gives a damn about, caring about Inuart is down at the bottom between taking time to wipe the blood off my sword and clipping my toenails.
"You make a solid point..."


I like to think this was a direct quote from one of the developers at Cavia before snorting their next line of coke.

Verse 3: Toward Truth


Alright, it's time for the final proper stage of the game. There's still several more to come, but they're err...different... You'll see.

Chapter 12 Ground Mission


You are huge! That means you have huge guts! Rip and Tear! RIP AND TEAR!
"I'm glad these recent events have not fazed you."
The world has gone crazy, demon babies are raining from the sky, I don't even know what the hell is wrong with your face. At a time like this, a man sticks to what he knows, dragon.



Alright, first up those uppity imperial pricks are trying to pull a zombie holocaust and fuck that noise. We do not have time for dumbass zombies when space babies are pouring in from another dimension. Go get your own Armageddon!


There is yet another weapon to unlock in this stage. Gotta catch 'em all, bizarre end of days or no. I went and grinded Hymir's Finger to its max level for the occasion, since it makes things go spectacularly smoother.


In order to get this newest piece of equipment, Caim must purge all the grotesqueries from the side alleys of the area. Alleys are for dumpsters, hobos, and drug deals not hellish cherubs, dammit! You may notice the toddlers' scale is...pretty damn off in the ground missions. Drakengard always had trouble with FMV vs. in-game scale (remember the Cyclopes that were towering over mountains in the FMV and maybe fifty feet tall in-game?) This is no exception.

The ground grotesqueries attack in a similar fashion to their larger aerial counterparts. The only difference is that Caim can block their energy attacks unlike Red. The overgrown infants still have really high defenses, HP, and those attacks that do hit cause some serious damage.


Now, I leveled up Hymir's Finger because it absolutely wrecks grotesqueries' day. The jumping version of the sword's attack has huge range and can be spammed fairly quickly. It's less effective against groups of the bastards, but aborting a single one of them is cake using this method.


I might as well mention you're greeted to a lovely crotch shot upon death.


Though, occasionally they choose to die in a fashion to makes me glad I didn't pick Leonard as my partner for this stage.

An alley sweep of babies and the death of a small band of upstart zombies later...



Now things get pretty hairy.


The grotesqueries start coming in groups of five at this point. With the way Drakengard handles enemy AI, there's a very good chance the ones furthest away from Caim won't notice him until the ones up front have already begun to attack. This is bad because they now attack out of sync thus causing pretty much a steady stream of messy baby burps.

But, fear not. Caim has an ace up his sleeve.




There's no finer person in the land to take care of a flood of young children than our batshit crazy cannibal elven gal Arioch. She's pretty much a win button for the duration of this stage.


Verdelet is shitting himself so hard at this point he's just rambling incoherently (okay, it's the seal chant of his but it's doing fuck all good so it might as well just being unintelligible babble.)

A load of aborted flying fetuses later...


"Hahaha... Hahahaha! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Where the hell does chuckles think she's going?
"It might be best just to let her be alone for a while..."

Even more of a baby onslaught later...


No, Lenny. I was gonna open a fucking daycare and round up some pacifiers and sing a friggin' lullaby.



It's not really the time to be dicking around with new weapons. But, no sense in turning back now.


I'm done trying with these fucking stories...

Verse 4: Gaia's Laughter


"Ahaha... Let us become one, my beautiful children."



Verdelet is thankfully pretty quiet this chapter. Mostly because he is, rightly, completely crapping his pants in terror.


A few of the grotesqueries have seen better days.


Then again err...so has Arioch. I can't rightly say I know what the hell happened to fuck her up so badly between scenes.


There is now a five second crotch shot of big baby Ken Doll. Why is here? I do not know. Probably to make you pay attention until this is sprung on you:




























Holy fucking rape face, Batman! WHY DO THEY HAVE TEETH?!


You know, dragon... There are some mornings you're better off just staying in bed...
"Would you really want to be woken up to that sight?"
"..."
Good point...

The grotesquerie horde begins flying past Caim and the others. Seems something else has their attention...




"Pretty! So pretty! Beautiful."
"We do not like where this is going."
"We do not like it at all."
"We stated we enjoyed irony."
"We have decided we do not like it quite as much when the shoe is on the other foot."
"Had we feet."
"Which we do not."






I'll just let this run its course...






You may insert a mild chewing sound for the duration of the scene.


"Stop you sniveling, the way is clear! Run for your life!"


I'm just going to go ahead and whip out something relevant to the game at this point. It's a page out of the art book. I've modified it slightly, given current events.


We've only lost half the cast. How bad can things ge-





Oh, Christ...

BONUS CONTENT:

Movies -
The Greatest of Feasts (You should probably watch this)

Music -
Chapter 12 Aerial Mission
Chapter 12 Ground Mission

Artwork -

Arioch's Death Storyboard. Seems the grotesqueries were going to be normal baby size. And her death was going to be gory as hell.


Caim Concept Art. Yes, these are just a buffer for the end of the update.