The Let's Play Archive

Drakengard

by The Dark Id

Part 58: Episode LII: ...Drakengard Ends




Episode LII: ...Drakengard Ends

Verse 3: The Greatest Battle


This is it, folks. The final mission of Drakengard. It is aptly titled "The Greatest Battle".


The queen-beast has risen in the heart of Tokyo, Japan. It is time for Caim and Angelus to put it down for good. The thing is...this isn't exactly a conventional battle. The trip to our world has disabled a few of Red's abilities and thus the players.


The following abilities are disabled in this chapter:


That's a good question, Red. What can we do? What can we do indeed? Is this just a glorified cutscene? No... No it is not.


Caim and Red will automatically circle around the queen-beast as a two minute and thirty second timer slowly counts down. As they fly in their silent clock-wise arc, the queen-beast will emit a glowing white circle of energy which will enlarge and travel toward the duo.


However, pressing the attack button [square] causes Red to also emit an identical circle of light.



When these two identical circles expand and come into contact with one another they will shatter and emit a sound.


After this happens a few times, the queen-beast will emit dark circle of energy.


Hitting the magic attack button [triangle] will cause Red to unleash an equal negative energy circle from her body in turn.



And again, the two growing circles will cancel each other out. Though this time, they will cause a different sound. At this point you are probably realizing the horror which is before you. You see, ladies and gentlemen, the final boss of Drakengard is not the queen-beast...


FINAL BOSS OF DRAKENGARD: CAIM VS DRAKENGARD'S OST (RHYTHM GAME EDITION)


Yes, for the hours upon hours invested in unlocking the final ending path of this godawful piece of shit game, the genre suddenly shifts into a rhythm game for the home stretch. But wait, there's more! You're probably saying to yourself "pfft...well, there's only two buttons to press, how hard can it be?"

To answer I have this:








SHUT








YOUR











WHORE











MOUTH!


First up, let's talk about the penalty for fucking up. It is possible to fuck up a button press and still continue...early on in the encounter. If the player presses the wrong key, upon that circle hitting the wrong counterpart all current circles made by Red will immediately be canceled out. So if there is a sequence of say:

White
White
Black
White
Black

And the player quickly hits:

White
Black
Black
White
Black

Only the first white circle in that sequence is destroyed. So, the player has to mash white, black, white, and black again quickly. On top of having to wiftly redo the sequence, there is a second long penalty if the wrong circle is hit. Considering there is roughly two seconds between when the queen-beast plays her note and when it strikes Red...that is very, very little room for fucking up.

So what happens if one of the circles reaches Red and Caim?



They're fucking dead and you have to restart the entire "battle" from the very beginning. I saw this screen exactly three times while playing the rest of the game. Once when those catapults in Chapter 2 clobber the shit out of you in two hits and there's nothing you can do about it since it takes one for you to go "the hell just happened?!" and the second to kill you so you figure it out. The second two times were against the Goddess boss fight.

I died in the ballpark of three dozen times on this uncle fucker of a final battle.


There are basically three "waves" of this ball busting final challenge, but only in the sense that there is a short lull between large sections of notes. Fucking up at any point will result in a complete redo of the whole nine yards. The first one isn't too bad:

Assume roughly one second between non-linked button presses unless otherwise noted
("*" denotes one second each):

Wave 1:
White
***
White
***
White
***
White
***
Black
***
Black
***
Black
***
Black
***
White
Black
White
Black
White
Black
Black
Black
Black
White
Black
White
Black
White
Black
White
White
White
White


Not too bad, right? At around the minute thirty mark the queen-beast will begin wave two. This one isn't too bad as long as you've got some decent hand-eye coordination.

Note: Colors linked by a hyphen denote circles that come out instantly one after another.

Wave 2:
Black
White
Black
White
Black
Black
White
White
White-White-White
Black
White
Black
White
Black-Black-Black
White
White
White-White-White
Black
White
Black
White
Black
White
White
Black
White
Black
White
Black
White-White-White-White
White
White
Black-Black-White
White
Black-Black-White
White
Black-Black-White
Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-White


Still alive, eh? Strap in, motherfuckers! Cavia stops pissing around at this point. This final wave demands your eyes and thumbs become one locked entity in-tune with the universe... allowing time and sound to flow through you like a stream.

If you fuck up pretty much any part of this next sequence, you are done.

Final Wave:
Black
***
Black
White
White
White
Black
White
White
White
Black
White-White-White-White
White
Black
White-White-White-White
White
White
Black
Black-White-Black-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-Black-White-Black-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-White-White-Black-Black-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-White-Black-Black-Black-White-White-White-Black-White-Black-White-Black-White-White
******
Black

No...that is not a typo...that is not hyperbole...that is Drakengard... That is a forty-nine sequence of button presses that come out non-stop for thirty seconds and must be hit flawlessly or it's back to the very beginning of the entire mission.

This is the final challenge of Drakengard: A barebones Action Brawler/Aerial Combat game with light RPG elements. A game that has an entire soundtrack that is nothing but chaotic dissonance has a rhythm game for its final challenge...

Think about that for a minute...

...

...

It's worth mentioning that you can sort of cheese the sequence by pausing to checking what is coming up if you're falling behind, but this makes you an immense pussy for doing as much. And it's still incredibly easy to screw up the final stretch even with dirty tactics.

Now let us see the reward for the greatest of challenges this game has to offer...

Verse 4: Recursion



The queen-beast, out grooved by our heroes, shatters into ash in shame.




Her crumbling visage cakes downtown Tokyo with a fine layer of charred giant woman. And so victory is ours...


Okay, now THAT was definitely the stupidest thing I've ever done.
"Agreed. At least this is the end."

I am going to put a video for the ending right here. It's probably better you all watch it for yourselves first. Scroll down when you're done...

Ending E of Drakengard (Watch Until the End for the full effect)







































Cavia should have just had the game crash to a giant, high resolution picture of goatse and formatted your memory card. It'd have about the same impact as going through all that bullshit to get this.


The true moral of Drakengard is Cavia Incorporated hates you and everything you hold dear.


And Square-Enix laughed all the way to the bank while watching them stomp on your balls.


There's really nothing more to be said...





Drakengard...


"Tee-hee!"

BONUS CONTENT:


There are two bonuses unlocked in Drakengard upon completing 100% of the game. It's basically one tiny going away kick in the balls silliness for the road.


Going back to any Free Expedition Aerial Mission and selecting the dragon now reveals a brand new option.


"Lalalalala! Lalalalala! Watchers! Lala!"


The second bonus is a new proper mission set in Tokyo featuring a brand new enemy type.

There are videos for both below.

Movies -
Japanese Robot Completes The Greatest Battle Flawlessly (You should probably watch this)
Ending E of Drakengard
Special 100% Completion Easter Egg
Free Expedition: Caim's Revenge

Music -
Final Boss of Drakengard (This is what you will hear while successfully completing the sequence)

ON THE EPILOGUE:


Well... That was Drakengard. The grand mixing bowl of all that is horrible in the world, smeared with ample amounts of "what the fuck" and iced with a fine layer of top notch trolling. I hope you kids all enjoyed this bumpy ride.

I sure didn't...